Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

I couldn't tell you what was worn by others at either my wedding or my daughters. If your friend knows you she knows your style, and if this it normally she will probably accept it. If you have them I would go for funky colour like luminous pink or silver though. My own daughter wore Silver converse in the reception .

My partner hates high heels and just wears fancy flats or marginal heels

This isn't really a heels vs. flats debate.

Some DMs could be easily appropriate for a wedding - e..g, there was a pair of their brogues linked earlier.

The boots the OP intends to wear are not DMs nor vaguely as stylish.

So it's really a particular pair of boots vs. other flats debate.

It would be very wasteful to buy a new pair of shoes just to attend this wedding, however cheap. It should not be encouraged.

I also cannot walk in heels and never wear them. I usually wear sparkly FitFlop sandals when dressed up and not too formal an affair, but for a wedding I’d pull out smart flat shoes/sandals rather than DMs. You sound much cooler than I am and will likely pull it off with aplomb!

Of course you can wear DMs to a wedding, personally I think they look better than ballet pumps with a dress

At the last wedding I went to the bride wore bright blue docs and they were not covered by her dress of many colours.

I love boots with dresses. But if you really feel the need for a heel look up ballroom dancing shoes. Very comfortable and quite stylish.

Wear flat velvet Mary Janes a la 1995 then change into the boots in the evening. My bridesmaids did this and looked great (it was the 90s).

I wore linen trousers and converse to the last wedding I went to. All these 'DMs are not appropriate for a wedding' replies are bullshit. Wear whatever you are comfortable in (ok, maybe not PJs, but you know...) and stop worrying about ridiculous social norms.

@ThisMama1 I love your style! 😍

@EarthyMangold Yay! Glad the bride in onside, not that it matters. 😊

My friend is getting married at the end of July, in a posh hotel in the countryside, my baby is due a couple of weeks before that. I am wearing anything that's comfortable. I want a silk wrap dress I found on Etsy, but it's expensive! And I have no idea what to wear on my feet. I've been wearing converse style shoes all winter, as I find them very comfy.

It's my daughter's wedding soon and she wants me to wear DMs!

When I was a kid in the 80s, I used to see my mum, her friends and all my friends mums, wearing stilettos and I couldn't wait till I was old enough to wear them. As a teenager in the 90s, they'd fallen out of fashion, so I settled for the clunky high heels that were all the rage then. Then came the early 2000s when I hit my 20s and stilettos were back. I lived and breathed in them. And my feet are paying dearly for it now 😫

Goodness me, nearly 400 posts...

OP: AIBU to not wear heels?
Everyone: of course not
OP: actually I'm really asking if I can wear Doc Martens
Everyone: Yes you can! OR No you can't!
OP: actually I won't be wearing Doc Martens

What a waste of time

I'm 64 and the only time I've ever worn heels was for my wedding, and they were fairly low heels. I've certainly never worn heels to anyone else's wedding - but I wouldn't wear DMs either. However, if that's your personal style and you are happy wearing them, then go for it. I wear what I like and feel comfortable in and don't understand people wearing things they don't like just to fit in.

Battlefield kit?

This is mostly what I do.

Those are fucking vile. Sorry.

You know there are many styles of DM? And that they are entirely mainstream and unremarkable?

Grown out?
How patronising.
And ridiculous.

I wouldn’t want to come to your wedding if you had a view about my perfectly decent clothing choices, so that’s a plus.

Who said I can't wear my
Converse with my dress?
Oh, baby, that's just me!
🎵🎵🎵

I guess it depends on the type of wedding. I’ve been to two in the past year. One was black tie and anything short of evening wear and smart shoes would have looked out of place. The other was still smart but a different kind of crowd and I saw lots of DMs and they looked perfectly fine and lovely.

Oh don't be so bloody ridiculous.

You don't respect any woman who wears heels? No matter what else she's done in her life, you decide whether she's worthy of your respect based on whether she's ever put on a pair of heels?
Whether they're a political leader, a scientist researching a cure for cancer, an amazing athlete, a wonderful teacher, a selfless volunteer in the local community, etc etc. Whatever they've done, if they've worn heels, they get no respect.
Get a grip.

Is what shoes people wear to a wedding that earth shattering?

Isn't the fact people are there more important?