Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

I have to say I am amused at the responses that DMs are not for weddings. I wore a pair to my own wedding.l dyed the same coloyr as my dress. 😅

Wear the DMs if you want but I do think heels are going out of fashion (thank goodness - they are so bad for feet and posture) and young folk are getting that in the main so ypu don't nred to wear heels.

I do have to say that I struggle with dress shoes now too, I don't necessarily want a naice ladies flat shoe but want something a bit dressier. What about a slightly chunkier Mary Jane? I used to have a DM pair of MJs that were a nice halfway house between dressy shoe and clunky boot

I'm going to be mother of the groom in the summer and I can't find a decent outfit ( fat and I have a belly etc) and I won't be able to wear heels either. I am thinking of trousers and boots but might be too hot , not dressy enough but I have horrible feet and a hammer toe so it's going to be comfort over any style I think !
I hate dressing up! Not the right shape and dodgy feet.

I rarely wear heels, I usually opt for a smart flat shoe when the occasion calls. I own a pai of DMs and like them a lot, but definitely wouldn't wear them to a wedding!

You don’t have to wear uncomfy heels but you don’t have to wear ugly DM’s either. It’s a wedding, not a festival.

I have worked in lots of different industries and been to lots of weddings and never worn heels thr idea of having to wear then is ridiculous

Thanks everyone! You are right, I should have titled this differently - it is totally about whether the boots are appropriate. I know there are other flat shoes out there, but I just don't like them, and for me, if I am not wearing heels, boots are the only other footwear that looks right with a dress. Ah well, maybe I am weird!

I can't show you the dress because I don't have time to get another one.😂

I will get my hair and make up done professionally, plus it's a 5 hour flight for me to attend at all, so I am pretty sure my friend will be satisfied that I "made an effort." And as others have pointed out - it's her that everyone has come to admire, not me.

I am going to go with the boots - it's February, and I am travelling with hand luggage only so it'll be good not to have to pack a second pair of shoes.

I've never worn heels to a wedding. 😅 You'll be fine.
I also rarely notice other people's shoes at weddings, I'm usually looking at their faces as it's usually quite crowded during mingling times or we're sat at tables for the dinner.

I think heels are going out of fashion. There will always be people who like them, but they are absolutely not a "must have" in the same way they used to be. Some people shun them for comfort/foot health reasons whereas some just don't like them.

I think DMs can look great with a dress and you can absolutely style it out.

Heels are not required. DMs are not appropriate for a wedding (you might get away with it if you are 13…).

High heels disable women for the titillation of men

I don't respect any woman who wears them.

I don't think anyone is busy policing shoes at a wedding, as long as they are clean and tidy just go for it.

To be fair you would stick out more if you were hobbling around in uncomfortable heels and plenty people seem to think that's OK.

I dont wear heels, I just will not tolerate uncomfortable shoes they make me grumpy and resentful.

Wear whatever flats suit the dress and be comfortable.

@Nevermind31 I am about 17 mentally so should be old enough to know better really....

The only appropriate dress for a wedding is to look like you have made an effort and are comfortable enough to enjoy the occasion (and not to outshine the bride). No reason not to wear DMs

I can't say I remember what shoes people wore at my wedding

Heels are not mandatory anywhere. Long gone are the days of women having to dress a certain way which is down right uncomfortable and damaging to the body.

there are some lovely dressy flip flops about for occasions like weddings.

I just bought these. Nice comprise. Thick so easy to walk in.

I don't know why people are saying DMs aren't wedding appropriate, I wore them to my own wedding as the bride!

Overthinking massively. I’ve never worn heels. Of course you can wear DM’s to a wedding!

I think you'll look out of place at a wedding, but if it's that important to you then just wear the boots

You'll rock the boots. There's always the option of flowery/sparkly/pretty laces if that floats your boat.

If you don't like heels don't wear heels, simple!

I'm 42 though and love wearing heels when getting dressed up and wore them all through my clubbing years etc so find it strange that you say it's partly because of your age. We can't be that many years different as you say you're mid 40's, heels were definitely a thing in the 2000's from my memory.

What's the point in asking if you've made your mind up? And what's the point in making an effort with your hair and so in if you aren't going to bother with your shoes?

I like DM's but I don't think they have a place at a wedding.

I don't plan on wearing heels to my own wedding.

Heels are not a mandatory accessory and nobody should feel they have to wear them - plus they're terrible for your feet anyway! Wear whats comfortable and supportive.

'Nice flats' are so boring. I am in my 70s and have rheumatoid arthritis, I gave up on heels in my 50s, and wore Mary Jane's or lace ups, so that I could walk. I can no longer wear anything but boots which support my ankles. I try to dress so that the outfit doesn't look compromised, but is 'edgy' on purpose. I think dms with a dress is a good look for this, rather than 'nice flats'. yanbu!

I didn't wear heels to my own wedding 😂

But my friends and I normally wear heels to the ceremony and take flat sandals in a gift bag and change at dinner.