Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

Not how I see weddings at all. They are a day you show up to celebrate a key moment in the life of someone you care for. I wouldn't give a stuff what anyone wore if it was my DDs wedding. And didn't at my own, back in the 90s.

It's what DMs were. Have you even looked at their current ranges?
But I also don't care much about 'appropriate' as long as people are comfy and feel their best that's great.

I didn't even wear heels when I was bridesmaid at the last wedding I went to. Gave them up years ago. Super uncomfortable. Wear your DMs.

I think heels look amazing, unless you can't walk in them and then it just looks ridiculous. Go with comfort. There are plenty of wedding suitable flats...you'll be able to pick up a cheap pair in primark or similar if you don't plan on wearing them again.

I love my DMs and live in them the majority of the time, however I really advise against wearing DM's to someone's wedding. It will be remembered and raise eyebrows. You can definitely wear a nice pair of flats and be comfortable but it will stand out and potentially ruin the wedding pictures. Even if your friend says it's okay, it could be frowned upon by older family members of the couple getting married.

I don't wear heels. I stopped after a bout of plantar fasciaitis in my mid 30s and I nainnly wear doc martens, birkenstocks or gopd quality running trainers now. I have some smart flat laceups for rare occasions when those are too informal but Docs are fine for a wedding.

This, and a shouty statement at that.

Platforms or wedges can be really comfortable. Also check out these shoes that are high and made to be comfortable.
https://solebliss.com/products/ruby-fuchsia-suede?variant=43696591339749&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAw6yuBhDrARIsACf94RU6_ZkNcNPrDj_R4QpFt2puZ0Nc5YM6jFzn5tD_plWHXLM2N5-T4bEaAjIREALw_wcB

You know your ‘look’, your friend and the type of wedding, so go with what works.

I think the dress is the relevant item, you aren’t wearing a grubby T shirt and trackies.

Honestly, some of these comments are so old-fashioned. I am in my 50s and boots might have felt out of place in weddings 30 years ago.

But thankfully people are more tolerant and less stuffy now. DMs are hardly a controversial statement. As I said, I love my heels, but this thread has made me want to go and buy some boots for the next wedding I attend! If you feel good in the outfit, then that’s enough! And this is a February wedding, so boots are even more acceptable.

I think this is rude and attention seeking. Some people don't.

Ugh why are people continuing making suggestions of shoes that the OP should wear. Only women have to contend with these stupid rules and not being able to walk at weddings. Men don’t have to give this stuff a second thought. OP wear your boots and be proud.

I am older than you and agree.

Wear what makes you confident

There is something about “fitting in” to an occasion, I think - whatever that occasion is. It’s why people wear a suit for a job interview, or a dark colour for a funeral. And often you do so to “mark the occasion”, rather than for any other reason. I went to a wedding where one of the groom’s friends wore a really loud tartan suit. He stood out a mile, both on the day and in the photos. I can only assume that was his intention. I didn’t care; it didn’t affect me. But it was clearly “making a statement” - look at me, I’m far too quirky for a grey suit like the rest of you. That sort of thing. The grey suit wouldn’t have been my DH’s choice of apparel for a Saturday, but he put it on to mark the occasion and make an effort for the bride and groom’s special day. DM boots aren’t as “standout” as a tartan suit, of course, but they are pretty noticeable - in the way that a pair of basic slip on flats really wouldn’t be.

No need to wear heels but I don’t think DMs are suitable for a wedding

Never wear heels. Used to wear the cork platform monstrosities back in the day, but I always wear flats/boots/trainers now and tbh, I never give it a second thought.

The majority of people from what I’ve read have said no heels is absolutely fine but there are more appropriate flats.

My first comment said it depends on the wedding. If it’s a traditional wedding that starts in a church and then moves to a super fancy reception, DMs are not suitable. If it’s a bit more boho or relaxed, they’ll be fine with a nice dress. You haven’t said which one.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/ST950721/M64651#M64651?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organicshopping

I'm a DM wearer, never heels, but I did wear these to a wedding recently and they were really comfortable and looked nice

TBH if I saw DM boots at a wedding I'd think you were an attention seeker - "I'm not like other girls". Deliberately standing out at someone else's wedding is a bit crass imo. Fine if you're the bride of course, or for a very alt wedding.
Different clothes are for different occasions, that's why you're wearing a dress and not a tracksuit. Same for shoes.

I totally did wear a long dress and DM's to a wedding in 1995! (Misses point)

I agree. There are plenty of comfortable smart shoes you could wear. DMs are definitely a statement.

I've never worn a heel in my life but I'd never be so cheeky as to wear bloody workmen's boots to someone's wedding.

I have a foot condition which means I had to stop wearing heels and also any pretty shoes. I just wear trainers all the time now. With dresses. No one cares. I have nice trainers and in different colours so it all matches. I have a pair of pumps that I wear to job interviews and that's it. Literally no one will notice I promise

I've never worn heels as growing up & reaching 5ft 11 pretty quickly, any more height used to make me feel obtrusive & people would comment.
Now late 40s and couldn't give a toss what people think but don't find heels comfortable.
There are so many flat options to wear with a dress that still make a statement but aren't DMs.