Sick of pretending to wear heels

[EarthyMangold]

I am in my mid 40s and I never learned how to wear high heels. When I was young it was the 1990s/early 2000s and we all wore doc martens or trainers with pretty dresses. I work in an industry wear high heels are inappropriate. I own a couple of pairs of carefully chosen "comfortable" heels and have worn them very occasionally for weddings/special occasions, but I really can't deal with them at all. They look nice, but I walk very strangely in them and always end up barefoot after a couple of hours because they are so uncomfortable.
I have been invited to a friend's wedding this month and I would really like to enjoy it. I am thinking to wear a black and pink dress with long (new) doc marten style boots a la 1995. I know I could get some flat "ladies" shoes but I really don't want to. I love wearing DMs and to me, it's a good look. Since it is February and the UK I am hoping to get away with it.

YABU - heels are obligatory for female wedding guests, I should at least wear flat pumps.
YANBU - I am way over-thinking this one, nobody gives a toss what I wear and the boots will look awesome.

Can we see your outfit?

No way!

Please let us see the dress.

Disrespectful? What a load of mince.

Please let us see the dress.

So you can tell me that's wrong too? Not a chance!

I’m not someone who likes to wear heels either. They’re so uncomfortable. At my wedding, I wore heels to walk down the aisle and then I ditched them straight away for my (brand new) converses. I wouldn’t have been bothered if someone wanted to wear Dr Martens with a dress.

Sounds like you might be aware that your outfit is not exactly appropriate...

Good decision. This pack will tear you to shreds no matter what you wear.

I suspect the divide here is those of us who wear DMs with dresses as routine vs those who don't. I regularly wear dresses with DMs. I am in my 50s and love being old enough to give no fucks about other people's judgement.

All this nonsense about getting 'pretty' shoes is just societal pressure and should be ignored.

Men frequently wear boots, but because they are under trousers, it is not so obvious. And is also perfectly ok.

More like mind your own business.

I never wear heels but would wear flat shoes to a wedding.

Oh please, there's literally endless choices for women. Even different DMs would be more suitable, like the loafers, Mary janes or brogues.

Christ I know, whereas for men it's like that scene in Peep Show where Mark is deciding between a brown or a black brogue. "Stick with the black... don't want to look like a spiv." Men manage to look presentable at weddings without deciding "no actually, my trainers are more comfortable. I'm going to wear those."

Make a bit of effort OP and get yourself a pair of shoes that'll do you for weddings etc.

Could you be any more patronising?

Most of the comments seem to be saying the opposite to how people voted?

I live in dresses with boots. Not DMs as I find them too heavy and they hurt. But something similar.

That doesn't mean they're appropriate for a wedding. The don't need to be "pretty", they need to be fit for the occasion. Just as (unless the wedding invite says otherwise) you don't turn up in your jeans and trainers because you feel more comfortable.

Some of the alternative shoe suggestions on here are ridiculous!

As I said, I live in DMs although I'd probably not wear them for a wedding unless I knew others would be wearing the same (I wouldn't care if someone wore DMs to mine though).

I wouldn't be seen dead in any of the alternative suggestions on here! Hideous! 😅

Your friend will know your style, and I'm sure be happy that you're comfortable, rather than tottering around on heels feeling silly.

Only you know the bride and groom and whether or not they will be offended.

I've been a bridesmaid 3 times and every time the bride has put me in a pair of sky high sparkly heals that I could barely walk in. I really don't think that they would have been at all happy if any of their guests turned up in boots.

@chiwwy

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Could you be any more patronising?

I can try.

OP had asked for opinions.

It's your friend's wedding I'd follow their lead.
Are they someone who is likely to upset by this? They're your friend? I don't think I have a friend who would care - we all have distinct styles but docs have a place in that. I have been to weddings were I would have felt awful in boots but they were more traditional family friend ones.

Mind you one of my friends wanted bridal crocs but the MOH put her foot down 😂

Because the question seemed to be ‘do I have to wear heels?’ which is obviously no.

I haven’t voted to be fair because I didn’t agree with either option. I said it depended on the type of wedding which OP hasn’t answered.

At least you admit it!

Totally agree with this.

I've got some really lovely dresses - lacy, going out stuff.

I always wear them with 14 hole docs. Always. They look so much better!

I wear dresses and docs every day.

I think most people are voting on whether or not heels are required, rather than the suitability of the boots.

I didn’t buy my bridesmaids’ shoes. I told them they could wear what they liked as long as it suited the dress. DMs wouldn’t have suited the dress but any flats or heels would have been fine.

Why don't you? cant ask for opinions then whinge when you get them.