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AIBU?

AIBU to be annoyed my hair has been damaged before I’m about to give birth. Also worrying about how I’ll still manage my self care routine to keep me sane and in a good headspace after baby is born?

369 replies

NewbieToThis · 11/02/2024 12:37

Silly post I know and with worse going on in the world I shouldn’t allow myself to get annoyed about my hair being partly fried with bleach damage before I’m about to have my baby next month but I am. I love my hairdresser she does an amazing job getting my hair as blonde as it is but I think because I’ve had it bleached/highlighted so many times during this pregnancy (and the first 3 times by a different hairdresser) and because the high lift colour was pulled through to the ends to get rid of dull blonde the last time I had it done which was last week parts of my hair have had it. I’ve had several inches cut off my hair during the times I’ve got my hair lightened which is fine but I’m going to need at least 2 inches cut off next time I have my roots done right before my baby is born. I’ve ordered olaplex no 3 to help build my hair back up. I plan on still just having my roots done but nothing done to the ends. I’m just annoyed as my baby is due and I’m worried how I’ll still have the time to do my self care to help my mental health. I have a very supportive husband and good people around but I’m the type of person who overthinks and thinks I’ll not get the time. My appearance being bad really affects my mental health so I’m praying the olaplex treatments do the trick and that extra two inches gets rid of a lot of it. My hair is shoulder blade length.

I know I’m going to get a lot of people telling me to go back my natural colour but my natural colour is disgusting and because I’m not naturally pretty I need a bright colour to perk my complexion up. I know a lot of people will say I’ll not care when baby is here but I know myself that I will. What should I do?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1092 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
95%
You are NOT being unreasonable
5%
F1ymetothetoon · 11/02/2024 12:39

LOL

Chatterboxy · 11/02/2024 12:41

Jeez 🙄

Babsexxx · 11/02/2024 12:42

Try not to stress I’m a fellow regular bleacher here I’m a mum of 6 and rest assured I book my hair and nails then let dh know that it’s booked so tough shit basically! But start taking some hair vitamins as soon as you’ve given birth because post partum hair loss!

My babys 6 months and for the first time I’ve experienced very minimal hair loss! I don’t want to scare you but get some! I can relate very much so like to do hair and make up everyday even if I don’t leave the house it’s very important for me to feel good! Good luck op and congrats xx

vodkaredbullgirl · 11/02/2024 12:42

Blimey is that all you got to worry about, is your hair.

10ThousandSpoons · 11/02/2024 12:43

Dying your hair is not self care. Self care is having a wash, a shower, cleaning your teeth.

SweetBirdsong · 11/02/2024 12:43

Confused WTAF have I just read?

RegimentalSturgeon · 11/02/2024 12:45

Lots of it will probably fall out once you’ve had the baby.

Janedoelondon · 11/02/2024 12:45

Making time for yourself is important OP!

Don't over stress it though and try to introduce little bits of self care into your every day life. I have a newborn and still love washing my face with a nice face wash, moisturiser and oil etc. Oh and lovely aromatherapy hand creams!

I also dye my hair brown (covers the greys!). Baby is 2 weeks old and I will be dying my hair tonight - don't see anything wrong with that!

You do you and carve out bits of time for you!

VainAbigail · 11/02/2024 12:47

RegimentalSturgeon · 11/02/2024 12:45

Lots of it will probably fall out once you’ve had the baby.

This is very true.

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 11/02/2024 12:47

10ThousandSpoons · 11/02/2024 12:43

Dying your hair is not self care. Self care is having a wash, a shower, cleaning your teeth.

@10ThousandSpoons no, showering, washing and brushing your teeth is not ‘self care’. That’s very basic hygiene. Raise your bar.

OP, what is your actual worry? That your hair is ruined (I would be annoyed by this too!) or that you won’t have time to have your roots done?

pensione · 11/02/2024 12:47

I think you’ll wonder what all the hair fuss about when baby’s here.

NewbieToThis · 11/02/2024 12:48

Babsexxx · 11/02/2024 12:42

Try not to stress I’m a fellow regular bleacher here I’m a mum of 6 and rest assured I book my hair and nails then let dh know that it’s booked so tough shit basically! But start taking some hair vitamins as soon as you’ve given birth because post partum hair loss!

My babys 6 months and for the first time I’ve experienced very minimal hair loss! I don’t want to scare you but get some! I can relate very much so like to do hair and make up everyday even if I don’t leave the house it’s very important for me to feel good! Good luck op and congrats xx

Thanks so much for the lovely comment. You’re just right. It’s important for mums to have our me time and self care. My husband will look after our baby when I get my hair done and I will look after baby for him doing his exercise. We are a team and it’s important both of us are allowed to still do things to keep us sane lol. Have you ever had fried hair from bleaching? I know my hair will feel better once Olaplex has touched it and I start doing regular treatments on it with it. Also getting the 2 inches cut off will make me feel better. I’m going to order hair vitamins like biotin to take alongside my pregnancy vitamins. My hair has still shed throughout this pregnancy so praying I don’t end up with postnatal hair loss but I’ll be doing everything I can to prevent it lol. Which vitamins do you take?

OP posts:
Mumoftwo1312 · 11/02/2024 12:48

RegimentalSturgeon · 11/02/2024 12:45

Lots of it will probably fall out once you’ve had the baby.

Agreed. You're better off investing in some pretty Alice bands, op... I looked like Richard e grant for months after my dd was born!

I'd recommend you try and decouple your appearance from your mental health, op. Lots of (temporary) ugliness happens when you are postpartum. Flabby tummy with loose skin. Hair loss. Saggy leaky boobs. It's worth it!

NewbieToThis · 11/02/2024 12:49

vodkaredbullgirl · 11/02/2024 12:42

Blimey is that all you got to worry about, is your hair.

I wish that was all I get to worry about but no I worry about other things too as is life lol

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 11/02/2024 12:49

Are you worrying about your hair to avoid worrying about more important things like the baby?

ChiefEverythingOfficer · 11/02/2024 12:50

You WILL NEED to give your hair a rest at some point. You cannot bleach it forever without damaging it. Now is as good a time as any.

The salon might seem a million miles away when your baby is small. Tiny humans suck us Mum's dry (literally), you might need to adjust your expectations down for a bit. Not forever though.

Snowsp · 11/02/2024 12:51

I'm not sure who you are annoyed at? Sounds like you were the one who wanted the bleaching? Or did hairdresser do something different to what you expected?

WhenWereYouUnderMe · 11/02/2024 12:51

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tiredmama23 · 11/02/2024 12:51

I get it OP, as I feel down too when I don't feel my appearance is "right". I don't know why you've had so many unpleasant comments.

Sorry to say that I also had the experience of my hair falling out in clumps after I gave birth, like yours it's also very blonde (bleached) and so became just scraggly and not very nice at all. Almost 3 years on its in better condition now but I've had to go quite a bit shorter to restore some of the thickness.

Best of luck with the baby Flowers

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 11/02/2024 12:51

OP I mean this with kindness but for those first few weeks in your new baby fog you'll be lucky to even notice what time of day it is never mind your hair Confused

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 11/02/2024 12:51

OP, you will do what we all do when our first baby comes along, take it one day at a time, or initially hour by hour and do the best you can. We all have plans and ideas of how things will be after baby's birth but the reality is usually different. You may get an easy baby and you will be able to fit in hair appointments as usual, you may find that your hair is the very last thing on your mind at that point. I suggest you do what you need to now to get your hair in the easiest most manageable style you are happy with before the birth because for many of us just remembering to comb it is probably the best we can manage to start with.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 11/02/2024 12:52

RegimentalSturgeon · 11/02/2024 12:45

Lots of it will probably fall out once you’ve had the baby.

Every cloud and all that ... Confused

TimeForTeaAndG · 11/02/2024 12:53

Be aware that hormones can affect hair texture and how it reacts to chemicals, as well as skin. I'd get a new patch test done before your appointment just to be sure.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 11/02/2024 12:53

ChiefEverythingOfficer · 11/02/2024 12:50

You WILL NEED to give your hair a rest at some point. You cannot bleach it forever without damaging it. Now is as good a time as any.

The salon might seem a million miles away when your baby is small. Tiny humans suck us Mum's dry (literally), you might need to adjust your expectations down for a bit. Not forever though.

This is very true

NewbieToThis · 11/02/2024 12:53

Janedoelondon · 11/02/2024 12:45

Making time for yourself is important OP!

Don't over stress it though and try to introduce little bits of self care into your every day life. I have a newborn and still love washing my face with a nice face wash, moisturiser and oil etc. Oh and lovely aromatherapy hand creams!

I also dye my hair brown (covers the greys!). Baby is 2 weeks old and I will be dying my hair tonight - don't see anything wrong with that!

You do you and carve out bits of time for you!

Thanks so much. You are absolutely right. It’s good to do that. I plan to still make time with self care around the baby. I used to dye my hair at home before I went blonde but I go to hairdresser. I think alongside worrying about all the changes as well as being excited I’ve allowed myself to worry too much when it’s easily fixed. Trauma in my past has caused me to worry about the worst case scenario which I shouldn’t allow myself to

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