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Vengroupthree · 11/02/2024 08:20


A friend of mine asked if he could stay for 2 weeks due to work commitments in the city I live in.

He has gone into his office twice and the rest of the time has wfh in my flat.

Whilst its been great to see him, I am puzzled at the cooking arrangements!

I've cooked dinner a couple of times and got us a takeaway once, the rest of the time by the time I get home he has cooked for himself using my food and makes nothing for me !

Also makes his own cooked breakfast , but won't offer to make me any, if I was cooking I just would as a matter of course

Aibu or is he trying to be self sufficient maybe ?

He has gone food shopping once and bought things for himself after my stuff ran out

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

2974 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
Needathickskin · 11/02/2024 08:22

I probably wouldn’t be available next time he asked!

MiddleagedBeachbum · 11/02/2024 08:22

He’s taking the mick and it’s up to you to decide your boundaries….. I wouldn’t accept that behaviour from someone stating as my guest.

PossumintheHouse · 11/02/2024 08:26

CFuckery of the highest order. He doesn’t even ask if you’d like some of the dishes he’s cooked using YOUR food?!
I had this once with a friend who asked to stay with me during the Edinburgh Festival. She literally ate all my food and, after a bit of a waiting game, I finally gave up and went out to do a big shop. When I got back laden with bags, she breezily piped up with “Oh, I was going to go to the shops later, thanks!” Haven’t seen or spoken to her since.
Your friend sounds just as leechy as she was.

Mirandawrongs · 11/02/2024 08:26

Stop cooking for him, switch the WiFi off and generally make him uncomfortable.

alternatively, you could have a conversation about it.

”dude, when you asked to stay I didn’t realise you just wanted to use my home, my food and comforts for yourself and not replace them.
you’re being very disrespectful and now it’s time for you to settle your bill and fuck off”

TheMerryWidow1 · 11/02/2024 08:27

If he is there because of work he probably claims overnight\and food allowance on his expenses so should be paying his way if nothing else. He s taking the p.

SulkySeagull · 11/02/2024 08:29

If he needs to be in your town due to work and his work is office based then they need to pay for hotel and food, not just expect that he has someone who can put him up locally.

Say to him - you cheeky git stop eating all my food and go and buy your own!

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 11/02/2024 08:33

Time to cook yourself a nice breakfast just for you with some of the food he has bought for himself.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 11/02/2024 08:33

Why is he there for two weeks and working from your flat?! 🤨 He sounds like he’s taking the piss completely in just that. Add on that he’s using up your food without even cooking for you too and I wouldn’t be sitting quietly anymore!

pensione · 11/02/2024 08:34

He’s a prick. Ask him what’s the deal and also never let him stay again.

Vengroupthree · 11/02/2024 08:35

The breakfast thing just odd! No way would I cook a full English for one without offering host any !

I will not be letting them stay again though

OP posts:
ArchetypalBusyMum · 11/02/2024 08:36

Well he's behaving like a parasite.
I'd curtail his stay, let him work out alternative accomodation and never see him again keep him at arms length in future.
With friends like that, who needs enemies!

FairFuming · 11/02/2024 08:37

It's so bizarre that he's coming to your city for work and only gone in twice! Is he paying you anything for staying for 2 weeks? If he's using all your food and working from home he will be using loads more heating. how good of a friend is he? I think you definitely need to have a conversation, do you feel safe raising this with him? If not maybe have someone else over and ask him to leave?

ArchetypalBusyMum · 11/02/2024 08:37

I wouldn't be silent either.
I'm not you mother!
Are two starters for ten.

pensione · 11/02/2024 08:38

Vengroupthree · 11/02/2024 08:35

The breakfast thing just odd! No way would I cook a full English for one without offering host any !

I will not be letting them stay again though

How long is left of his stay? If more than 3 days I’d tell something has come up and he needs to get a hotel.

Sodndashitall · 11/02/2024 08:39

I'd just ",hey friend I thought you were going to be working from the office rather than working from home every day. If you are going to be working from home can you.please make sure to top up all the groceries. Thanks so much "

pictoosh · 11/02/2024 08:40

Just ask him.
A lot of shit goes past owing to politeness. That's what he's banking'll be too polite to say anything.
Don't be.

The friendship is fucked because of this anyway. Might as well assert yourself and have your say.

"I didn't agree to feed you for two weeks as well. What gives?"

Vengroupthree · 11/02/2024 08:40

No he's not paying anything to stay here

Another week to go

OP posts:
Flatandhappy · 11/02/2024 08:40

I would tell him he seems to have mistaken your home for a hotel and he needs to step up. Where on earth do you think you can eat someone else’s food then just cater for yourself. Tell him dinner is on him for the rest of his stay, he can cook or you can eat out, his choice.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 11/02/2024 08:42

@Vengroupthree pretty sure his employer will be paying him subsistence!!! he will be pocketing this because he is having a freebie!

pensione · 11/02/2024 08:42

Vengroupthree · 11/02/2024 08:40

No he's not paying anything to stay here

Another week to go

A week was very generous of you. Tell him to go please.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 11/02/2024 08:42

Sorry OP but this is your doing. You should have laid the ground rules before he came to stay, not just expected certain behaviours.

PossumintheHouse · 11/02/2024 08:43

Vengroupthree · 11/02/2024 08:40

No he's not paying anything to stay here

Another week to go

Nah. I’d go fucking nuts.

I think a swift and blunt “Can you replace all the food you’ve eaten today?” is needed ASAP.

Don’t dwell or dawdle over it. He’ll know you’re being more than reasonable.

xyz111 · 11/02/2024 08:48

Vengroupthree · 11/02/2024 08:40

No he's not paying anything to stay here

Another week to go

Don't act like you have to just put up with it, because you don't!! It's your house, stand your ground.

FallingStar21 · 11/02/2024 08:49

OP please do not put up with another week!

Tell him to go with whatever excuse you want. You can just say "it's not working out and I can't do another week, sorry". If he tries to pressure you, say you didn't realise he'd be working from home nearly every day and you feel really crowded, can't afford paying for all the heating and food etc. And tell him his employer will surely be paying this expense for him so he'll be fine in a local hotel.

ArchetypalBusyMum · 11/02/2024 09:01

Friends don't eat their hosts out of house and home without so much as reassuring the host they will replace/pay.
You'll be telling us he left the washing up for you to do next! Which wouldn't be surprising given what a taker he is.

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