House Guest

[Vengroupthree]

Morning,

A friend of mine asked if he could stay for 2 weeks due to work commitments in the city I live in.

He has gone into his office twice and the rest of the time has wfh in my flat.

Whilst its been great to see him, I am puzzled at the cooking arrangements!

I've cooked dinner a couple of times and got us a takeaway once, the rest of the time by the time I get home he has cooked for himself using my food and makes nothing for me !

Also makes his own cooked breakfast , but won't offer to make me any, if I was cooking I just would as a matter of course

Aibu or is he trying to be self sufficient maybe ?

He has gone food shopping once and bought things for himself after my stuff ran out

WHY are you happy to put up with this?

WHY haven't you told him where to go?

Jeez what a pisstaker. Did you ask him to replace the food he's used like for like? I'd tell him it's obviously not working and he needs a hotel for next week.

No OP, that is really cheeky. I have a friend who comes to stay with me periodically (maybe once every three months or so) as she returns from traveling and then goes off again. She buys groceries when needed, and almost every day she is here I come home from work to a home cooked meal, she makes me a cup of tea as soon as i get in, she often cleans too. She sees it as a fair exchange for me letting her stay for a week or so. Your friend is not being fair or reasonable, in fact he is massively taking the piss!

Ugh tell him to leave!

He sounds like a teenager who never moved out before! I would have to say some things about unspoken social rules he might not have been taught.

Nonsense! Why in earth would it occur to anyone to say "yes of course you can come and stay but let me make it clear that if you're cooking breakfast using my ingredients then I expect you to cook mine too?"

"We need to talk. I'm extremely upset with how you've treated me. I allowed you to stay as a favour. You have eaten my food and not replaced. You've left me messy dishes. You've cooked my food for yourself alone and not even offered to make me any. You're actually WFH - my home - most of the time and running up my utility bills. I think this is the end of the friendship for me as I feel completely used. The kindest thing I can say about you is that you're thoughtless in which case you can attempt to make amends by paying me X sum of money. Either way I want you to leave today and find a hotel."

‘hey I’m not actually your mum and I wont be doing your washing! Get it out of the machine or run it please so I can do my own’

And is it just me wondering if his parents are away on holiday so it's easier to use your food?

Thanks ! Yes this is how I think!!!

Fucking hell.
Take the washing out of the machine.
Write him a shopping list and send him to the shops now to replace like for like the things he's used.
Tell him to wash up the shit he's left in the sink.
Then tell him you aren't his long suffering parents and he won't be staying with you for the next week. Maybe tell him this isn't how adults behave when someone is generous enough to put them up for a fortnight but frankly he seems such an extreme failure to launch that it'd be a waste of your time.
Do NOT put up with this for another week. The 'friendship' is over, this freeloader has no respect for you, show you have some for yourself.

Just tell him it's not working out - you weren't expecting him to WFH all the time or expect you to provide him with food.

Or if you need an excuse - develop a sister/best friend who's boiler has bust and needs to come stay.

But have him leave tonight please.

He'll be claiming his hotel and meal allowance. It's appalling behaviour.

Not nonsense at all. Look at what is happening to OP! Some people are cheeky fuckers as OP has now found out. There are nice ways to set ground rules you know.

Oh come on!

You are letting this wanker take the absolute piss out of you and you're not speaking up??

WTF is wrong with you???

DO NOT DO HIS FUCKING WASHING!!!!! Let him take it home to mummy, the overgrown fucking specimen that he is.

I would honestly be telling him to leave today. 'You staying here isn't working for me, you'll have to find somewhere else for next week' is the polite version.

Why haven't you said anything to him about the situation?

Tell him money is tight at the moment and you can’t afford to fund him. Tell him you didn’t discuss payment when he asked but can discuss it now. Write a shopping list and tell him that it’s his turn to cook tonight. A 44 year old man living at home is likely to have mummy doing everything for her baby, it’s not going to occur to him to pay or replace anything or indeed to leave a thank you present. Don’t let someone else take over your home.

I disagree with posters blaming you op.

I think it’s reasonable to assume that guests will have basic manners; particularly if they are over forty years old.

This situation is entirely HIS fault.

What I do think though is that there is not much point in pussy-footing around him in order to preserve the friendship because you won’t feel the same way about him now ever again!

Where I work, we claim £25 a night (taxed) when staying with friends or family for work, as an alternative to the organisation paying for a hotel plus a food allowance. Our expenses are pitiful, at the very lowest end, so I imagine most employees can claim a similar or greater amount than I can. So, in summary, your friend is taking the piss and making a profit from your hospitality!

£25 is the HMRC limit.

He's probably get a per diem from his employer. And pocketing him.

I'd have asked him to leave and told him he owes you ££ for what he ate.

Turn off your wifi. Tell him to pack. Tell him why.

I’d say it’s midway through your stay, shall we say £xxx to cover what you’re using, food, electricity etc., Bank transfer’s fine, here’s my details.
CF probably making money on his expenses.

The shops shut at 4
Write down a list, give him some shopping bags and tell him to go and replace what he's eaten of yours

I think you need to tell him that your Aunty MiN is coming to stay as from next week so the arrangement is at an end.

He’s a cf, and to be fair you should have spotted him sooner…..

HE ATE ALL YOUR LURPAK?! And replaced it with DISGUSTING spread?

LTBG.