House Guest

[Vengroupthree]

Morning,

A friend of mine asked if he could stay for 2 weeks due to work commitments in the city I live in.

He has gone into his office twice and the rest of the time has wfh in my flat.

Whilst its been great to see him, I am puzzled at the cooking arrangements!

I've cooked dinner a couple of times and got us a takeaway once, the rest of the time by the time I get home he has cooked for himself using my food and makes nothing for me !

Also makes his own cooked breakfast , but won't offer to make me any, if I was cooking I just would as a matter of course

Aibu or is he trying to be self sufficient maybe ?

He has gone food shopping once and bought things for himself after my stuff ran out

Ok, time to face fact:

1. this is not a friend - friends DONT do this to friends, they FALL OVER THEMSELVES to thank the person doing them an incredible favour and they cook, wash up, take them out, buy takeaway or PAY for staying.
2. You won’t be seeing this person again, the ‘friendship’ won’t survive it.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by sitting this guy back down and educating him on just how unacceptable he is, how you absolutely don’t raid someone else’s fridge and help yourself, and even then, it’s him cooking just for him? Using YOUR bought and paid for food?

tell him he needs to replace EVERYTHING he’s eaten and he’s not to be WF your H another second, tell him in plain English how he’s taking the piss and you’re horrified that he’s treating you, your home and hospitality like this.

DO NOT DO THAT WET LETTUCE “I can’t deal with confrontation” crap, this is your home and he’s way over stepped the mark

My work pays £30 a night if you stay with family or friends because it saves them £100 on a hotel. When I've had work friends stay they have split it with me before. So he might even be saving a load of money from staying with you (other than eating for free). I can't believe he is just taking your food without even asking, that's the height of rudeness, even in my house we check that someone hasn't earmarked it for something if we didn't put it there

What is wrong with you! Why are you being an absolute doormat!? Speak up woman! You have a voice. You're being taken for a mug. He doesn't care about how rude he's being.

And what was his response?

He is inconsiderate and has poor manners

He will be getting a daily allowance from his employer for food

I suspect he isn't as he's WFH and only needed to be in the city for 2 days.

What he's decided is CBA to drive/ travel
I will just have a jolly couple of weeks at Ops, it will be a nice break and I will save loads

I hope that word was hotel as in, go and stay in one because you're not staying here another week

As a matter of interest, what are his usual living arrangements ? Lives at home with his mum? Lives alone, or lodges with other men....or a put upon girlfriend?

What did he say?

What did you/he say?

A week to go! Fuck that.

He's come to you to go to work and he's staying in your flat. Is he even buying any food?

Tell him to pull his socks up right now. Or he's out. And still don't let him stay again.

So what positive changes will he make during the rest of the time he's staying in your home? Buying food/cooking for you both? Clearing up after himself? Expressing gratitude in any other way?

BTW if he's WFH at your place why couldn't he do that at his place? It's called "worldwide web" for a reason..

He sounds like a thoughtless taker and, in your shoes, I'd encourage him to go back home or check into a AirBnB and spend his own money rather than yours.

I hope you're not doing his laundry "whilst you're doing yours"... 🌹

Was he appropriately contrite? I would kick him out rhe selfish bastard he could easily still cost you another hundred quid the price of food these days.

So entitled. I have a friend who stays occasionally and always brings their own stuff and a small token of appreciation. Like a normal person. Stop enabling unreasonable and selfish people, it only makes them worse.

JFC. What are you? His support human? Does he have a slave at home?

I'd say...

You are taking advantage, you've not bought a thing, cooked anything for me, and left your washing up. you've been working here most of the time. This isn't working for me, you need to work out another plan.

He’s taking the piss. My commute is usually two-three hours each way but, like many others, I manage. Tell him to go home.

How did he respond?

Yes, this.

also don't put up with this for another week!! that's madness, I would explode. Lay some rules, it's YOUR home

I hope he was apologetic and took it on board. So thoughtless and tight.

He has no considerarion for you and you must protect yourself and ask him to leave. You can’t reason with someone so selfish.

I personally wouldn’t want a distasteful conversation asking him to shape up. I wouldn’t want that level of awkwardness for another day, let alone another week!

Tell him he has changed the parameters of the arrangement by working from home and you need your space back for work/life.

Although no explanation is necessary since it is your home and you don’t answer to him.

A simple, hey Jack, this isn’t working out, do please leave by 5 this evening, thank you.

Can't understand why posters come online here to complain but won't actually address the issue head on. There's no need to be confrontational about it - just say "where's mine?" when he cooks for himself.

Then definitely say something. "Dude, what's all this. Where's my breakfast??"

Internet needs to suddenly go off whilst youre out. Don't say anything, change the password and act confused.
Use his food and dont wash his pots!!! Hide the wash powder and turn off the hot water.
Sorry but if hes taking the piss i would also take the piss

This. He's not a friend, he is treating you like a doormat.