To ask DH to not turn on the family T.V on the evenings that are 'my choice nights'

[Aaaarrrrgggghhhh]

DH and I have had an agreement in place for many years where we have set nights for choosing what to watch on T.V. He's a bit of a remote hog and so we set this up based loosely around the shifts I used to work. 3 evenings of the week are mine, but if I'm out he can watch what he wants. The other days are his days. On my evenings I still have to drive our DC to their various clubs so he still gets some time to watch what he wants. (DC do not 'want in' on our rota as they prefer to watch their phones for their screen time.) Recently on my evenings I have chosen to keep the T.V turned off, still sat in the lounge ( open plan lounge/diner) , but doing other stuff and enjoying the quieter atmosphere. However DH just wanders in and turns the T.V on. When I query this his response is usually, "well you weren't watching it" or "you'll be going out soon" He has access to Netflix and Amazon Prime on his phone. AIBU if I ask him to turn the T.V off on my nights if I am choosing No T.V?

@OrionStridesIn The whole point is that teaching a book doesn't dominate the whole room.

*reading

You are being entirely unreasonable.

if my husband told me when I could or couldn’t turn the TV on he may well be dislodging a remote control 😁

Yes YABU and bizarre

It’s his house too

That would of course you be helping him so he didn't have to hide it from you stop you from commiting the heinous act of WATCHING TV when he says no!! 😆

I'm with you, OP. This would annoy the shit out of me.

@LameBorzoi that's nothing to do with the point that I was making, which was basically that it's not unusual for different people to have different preferences. The TV watchers on this thread don't seem to struggle with that concept, which was what I was trying to say.

I can read quite easily with the TV in the background, as long as it's not really loud. But I appreciate that other people would find it distracting. On the occasions where I've wanted peace, I've taken myself off to a quieter room.

You need a second TV if DH wants to watch it that often.
YANBU to want to spend 'your' evenings doing your activities, but there should be a way for you to both enjoy the evening (this goes both ways, so if you're also not really enjoying 'his' nights, it might be a better arrangement to have a limit on TV time every night when you're both in).
Rewatching shows he's already seen is a valid hobby, he's also allowed to prefer the TV to watching on his phone/laptop. Would he watch TV in the bedroom/a different room if you have one, or does he specifically want to relax in the living room? Or could he get bluetooth headphones so he can watch without disturbing you?

Sorry haven’t read the thread but I’m like you op sometimes I don’t want the noise and distraction of Tv. However asking someone to sit in silence or whatever is a bit out of order, I would suggest Bluetooth headphones for him and noise cancelling headphones for you to give you a nice calm coccoon in your busy living room xx

Haha that's what I was thinking. I have two spare going here.😆

The TV watchers on this thread don't seem to struggle with that concept, which was what I was trying to say.

That's because TV takes over. If the other person wanted to listen to the radio or music, or watch noisy videos on a laptop, then they'd see the problem.

Yabu

Youre being controlling. It’s not about having a peaceful night as you’ve said something like he’s got Netflix on his phone so why can’t he use that. So this is a control issue. If you’re not watching tv go somewhere else

@OrionStridesIn That's fine if it's for limited periods. The issue is that OP's husband is putting it on all the time.

@Toomanyemails @JodieFostersFurHood They have a second TV. OP"s husband keeps on turning on the one in the living room, where OP is having some quiet time. He does have the choice to go to the other room

This reminds me of children arguing over which programmes to watch and the parents solve it by letting them have a day where they each get to choose. You and your husband need to grow up.

So does OP.....

Link your view on TV is beyond weird, so you're never going to have a reasonable view point.

Maybe op could get one of these so she can properly control things? Will there be space in the dresser once cleared?

Oh the excitement when the teacher rolled this out for 'Through the Dragons Eye' or Geordie Racer!

@LameBorzoi why can't he though? He clearly likes watching TV, as do a lot of people, OP isn't watching it herself? Perhaps he could watch stuff on the upstairs TV sometimes. That's the only part of this where he seems petty, as the rest of it from OP is petty IMO. No one needs silence to declutter a cupboard.

Honestly it really is petty. If it's that much of an issue then some people clearly are better suited to living on their own.

@NotTerfNorCis Exactly. If I'm sitting in the lounge reading a book, and someone comes in and turns on the TV, it's a bit like if someone came in and started blaring music while you were watching tv

@OrionStridesIn He has half the week PLUS the parts of the evening when OP is out running around after the kids. Is that not enough?

@doilooklikeicare OP isn't wanting the TV off constantly. She's just asking for it of for a short period of time a few night a week. I don't think that's a lot to ask!

I'm sorry but I find this really odd. If I didn't want to watch TV and wanted to sit in my own headspace relaxing I'd go upstairs for a bath or just lie on the bed relaxing. I wouldn't insist on sitting in a communal living space in silence when others want to watch TV. I find that very stifling just reading it 😬

And I'd say this if it were the OP's husband insisting on silence in the living room too, not allowing the TV on. Just feels like slightly controlling behaviour to me and not at all comfortable.

So op gets her way and to watch tv on her nights dh has to go upstairs to the bedroom. What happens if op actually wants an early night to go to bed and ready does she then get to go upstairs and chuck him out of the bedroom/make him turn the TV off?

We're all different. I would hate for my communal area to be filled with inane background babble that my partner was only half-watching anyway. It's different if they wanted to watch a specific program, but when it's on all the time it's just noise.