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AIBU?

To ask DH to not turn on the family T.V on the evenings that are 'my choice nights'

308 replies

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh · 07/02/2024 23:10

DH and I have had an agreement in place for many years where we have set nights for choosing what to watch on T.V. He's a bit of a remote hog and so we set this up based loosely around the shifts I used to work. 3 evenings of the week are mine, but if I'm out he can watch what he wants. The other days are his days. On my evenings I still have to drive our DC to their various clubs so he still gets some time to watch what he wants. (DC do not 'want in' on our rota as they prefer to watch their phones for their screen time.) Recently on my evenings I have chosen to keep the T.V turned off, still sat in the lounge ( open plan lounge/diner) , but doing other stuff and enjoying the quieter atmosphere. However DH just wanders in and turns the T.V on. When I query this his response is usually, "well you weren't watching it" or "you'll be going out soon" He has access to Netflix and Amazon Prime on his phone. AIBU if I ask him to turn the T.V off on my nights if I am choosing No T.V?

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Am I being unreasonable?

1382 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
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lifeispainauchocolat · 09/02/2024 20:38

DH and I like watching tv in the evening because it doesn’t need much in the way of brain power.

It's the same in our house. We both work outdoors and physical jobs - by the time we get home, we're knackered and just want to switch off.

As for PP's comment about "engaging your brain" - there are plenty of TV shows and documentaries that do just that Hmm

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iamveryearlytoday · 09/02/2024 20:39

Codlingmoths · 07/02/2024 23:22

if I lived in the house I expect to occasionally be able to choose to relax without the tv on. If there’s only one living room then he has to find somewhere else. You can watch tv on a huge range of devices. You cannot create a second living room with a snap of your fingers.
also, why can’t he do some drop offs?

Same here. Sometimes I want to sit on the sofa and read a book without drivvle or noise in the background.

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boopboopbidoop · 09/02/2024 20:42

@BitOutOfPractice HirplesWithHaggis and I were not actually discussing the OP's dilemma (this is MN after all!) but the rules that she has imposed on her DH whereby she "forbids" him to watch certain programmes on certain days and "permits" others. A blanket ban. And that is just horrible. I would certainly be annoyed about that, wouldn't you? It's not the agreement the OP has. She has now rowed back from her original wording, claiming her DP is fine with it because he's irritating too. I mean, that's not a regime I can get on board with.

We must be reading completely different OPs as the one I'm commenting on starts

DH and I have had an agreement in place for many years where we have set nights for choosing what to watch on T.V.

Where is this is she imposing anything on him

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MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 09/02/2024 22:35

iamveryearlytoday · 09/02/2024 20:39

Same here. Sometimes I want to sit on the sofa and read a book without drivvle or noise in the background.

So there's not another space in your home you could do this?
Do you think op should get to control the volume level of the house on her 'quiet' days?
No tv, music or chat?!

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BitOutOfPractice · 09/02/2024 23:09

@boopboopbidoop I specifically said we me and the other poster were having a side debate. I don’t know what else to say really. Our discussion was never about the op but about hirpleswithtgehsggis and their particular dictatorship domestic arrangements. Perhaps go back and read that particular posters’ comments. That’s what I was opposing. Not the op. Welcome. To. MN.

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LameBorzoi · 10/02/2024 00:57

@MyGooseisTotallyLoose Chat or music is far, far less intrusive than the tv

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LameBorzoi · 10/02/2024 02:50

@MyGooseisTotallyLoose Also, I don't know where this idea that OP wants to sit in silence comes from. She just says she wants to use the lounge room occasionally without TV.

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LlynTegid · 10/02/2024 07:05

I think there are deeper seated issues here if you have to resort to a rota over tv use.

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