Am I the unreasonable neighbour?

[BeckyOrange02859]

I recently bought a semi detached house and redecorated most of it. It was empty for about 2 years before I bought it as the previous owner died.

The problem I've got is soundproofing isn't great. If I sit in absolute silence, I can even hear the water flowing when my neighbours turn a tap on. I believe they own their property but not sure. When sat in silence, I can hear when they use their microwave, the soundproofing is that bad. I can't move to another room as such because it's a party wall, all the rooms are up against their property if you know what I mean.

When I moved in, during the first week I moved in, in the day they came round to complain that my TV was too loud, so then I turned it down. I've tried to be more quiet, but I can regularly hear them arguing in the day. They mentioned they like to go to bed at 10pm and would like me to be quiet after this time, but I often like to watch TV until midnight sometimes of a weekend.

Last night I had two friends round and we was having a couple of drinks but didn't have music or TV on or anything like that and they came round at 2am to tell us to be more quiet.

I feel like I can't enjoy my own home for fear of upsetting my neighbours. I have never complained to them once and I think if they are more bothered by noise than me they should pay to get soundproofing fitted on their house or I should just ignore them.

Am I being unreasonable?

Let them know that you can hear them as well. They might not realise how bad the sound proofing is and may just think that you’re a noisy neighbour

Next time they complain explain that their noise also impacts on your life, their arguments etc. You are entitled to live the life you want in your home, within reason, and I think you are being reasonable. After 11 pm no loud TV or music, but chatting with friends is fine. You maybe need to be slightly more robust in standing up for yourself as you are doing nothing wrong. Personally I would not answer the door to them if they came knocking late at night. They are the ones with the problem not you. I never have anything to do with neighbours, I'm polite but have zero interest in them or their lives. Too often a friendly relationship with a neighbour can turn because of their unreasonableness, so I prevent that with by having no contact. I'm lucky in that I've always had detached houses. I'm surprised as they're ageing that their hearing is to acute. Suggest noise cancelling headphones.

I’d go & knock on their door & invite them over to yours for a coffee. Explain that you really want to get on with them & don’t want to upset them & that you have had huge concerns about upsetting them.
Then move on to a general conversation about the poor soundproofing in the house & say to them that you would like to do an experiment if they were up for it. Is the poor sound proofing equal & could you all test it? You could turn some things on in your house & all of you go over to theirs to listen & the you could turn some things on at theirs & go over to yours.
The key here is coffee & biscuits. Then it’s not a confrontation. Good luck!