to break bad?

[ConciseQueen]

I’m thinking of going to the dark side. Crime can pay a lot. And I am skint.

So, from Monday, I am a gun for hire. I’ll need a crew.

Any bad dudes with me?

I'm over 50, 5 foot nothing, weigh 8 stone, and walk with a stick. Men tend to go all protective and chivalrous over me; they won't suspect a thing. 👍

Go looting but no trainers, loot for handbags, bring wire cutters and a gun.

For the recce, sandwiches and menopausal women sound perfect.

We could hold book groups in the Starbucks across the road from the bank.

Ooh, I've found my people! Have you seen the price of chocolate lately? I vote we do over a sweet shop. It has the advantage that if the police come knocking we can eat the evidence.

I can crochet us balaclavas? Maybe with sparkle?

Decaf to keep alert. Perhaps we should all be taking vitamins, to get us in the best shape for the heist?

No sorry this won’t work for me.
I would eat the sweets whilst robbing and be too full of chocolate to run.

Cut them in them in triangles please.

@ConciseQueen , I'm Perri menopausal, can I still join?!

Have you seen good girls? I'm kind of in love with the baddie from that. I'll do anything if I can have him' 🙈

Glucosamine for joints?

I’d like to strike a blow against the patriarchy while making loads of cash…

I’m a nosey bugger, with IT skills.

I reckon we catfish some cocklodgers/ domestic abusers and get them to invest all their money into our crypto currency.

if the catfishing doesn’t work, hack into their social media and blackmail them with all the shit we’d undoubtedly find on them.

We split the cash between us, but give a percentage to Women’s aid. Kind of like Robin Hood and his merry men- but women.

but let’s buy and HQ on a tax haven on the Caymen islands. No camping in Sherwood Forest for us!

Can I suggest Hell's Grannies as a disguise? We can distract people by getting them to explain the banking app in great detail and looking confused about paying IN cash using the machine? but really we are hardcore thugs.

We are equal opportunities - all hormone levels welcome.

Grab a sparkly balaclava, collect your vitamins and sit tight with a decaf.

We’ll need weapons. Who’s packing?

Do you have glorious boobies like Beth?
They would be useful as a distraction to witnesses or to create a diversion.

I can do really great face painting for disguise purposes. Tigers, Elsa, generic unicorn - name it, I can do it.

I live near Marbella, I'll open my doors to anyone fleeing, Sext Beast style.

@ConciseQueen woohoo!!! I have an old blender that has a mind of it's own.

🤔🤔🤔🫣🫣🫣

I can provide the guard dog.... rottweiler!

Can also bring the baby to provide a screaming distraction 🤣

Yes, yes to crypto-crime and blue rinse gangsterism.

I cam write ransom notes! Gotta put my education to use at some point 😬😂😂

I’m in!
my special skill is ..err…gardening. I could swing a shovel about menacingly? Grow drugs in my polytunnel for you to sell from the sweet shop once you’ve taken it over?

We can carry the loot away in our Roka backpacks, The rozzers won't suspect a thing.

I have some seriously badass knitting needles, purchased for an ill advised attempt at joining my local Stitch 'N Bitch group, and a chefs blowtorch.