To think if you can't handle the children you've got you should stop having kids?

[Absolutelybloomingflabbergasted]

I know this is subjective but, I wanted 3 kids and knew after 1 I wouldn't be able to handle a younger child and balance life effectively.

I'm sat on the train, and, this isn't the first occurrence.

A mother with 4 children, shouting at her baby, telling her she's naughty because she's upset and being a normal baby.

Yes, we all get stressed but she's blatantly lying to her, saying she needs to shut up as the train guards coming and doesn't want to hear her racket, threatening to throw her dummy in the bin for being bad. Saying she never should of taken them out, 'especially her' 'she's too bad to take out and always does this, she never learns and neither do I, next time she's staying home'

I understand parenthood is stressful, but now all the other kids are shouting at this poor child, who is still in a pram and looks no older than 1.5

I found toddlerhood the most stressful.

I understand pregnancy and children come unexpectedly but, I see this very frequently in my area, which is very poverty striken and there is not a great deal of support.

I feel so upset for this child.

I'm sick of seeing people having more children then they are phyiscally able to and then pretty much abusing them.

I came from a household that did similar and refuse to do this to not only myself but my children.

I know this will likely be conflicting but, I believe behaviour is echoed from the role model or parent, in general but especially in this case.

It makes me so sad.

Must be stressful for all and that includes the mother.

We have all been there and had stressful situtuons but I don't think that excuses any of the wording she has spoken to her child.

That doesn't help anything, only causes things to be much worse.

If you can't handle children or your behaviours and responses why keep having them?

I think sometimes people think it's the child's fault, theyre just a difficult child, if they keep trying they'll get a good one.

You've seen a tiny snippet of this woman's day ....

You have no idea how she parents 24/7

I think you're being quite judgmental seeing as this train ride is all you have to go on ..

Her and all the children imply that..

Now she's saying she's gonna smack her when she gets home because she's embarrassed her.

Maybe three was a breeze and four is harder. Maybe it was a BC fail. Maybe there's been a family emergency and she's stressed. Who knows.

I don't believe being stressed excuses threatening to hit your child or be verbally abusive.

If so, then they should really reflect on their parenting.

I've had stressful days but I've never told my child I'd hit them for embarrassing me on a train.

If this is capable outside, what happens behind closed doors?

But of course, I am the person in the wrong.

Well actions do have consequences. I see incredibly harassed women with four kids. For goodness sake stop with two. Bit late once they've arrived though. Although then they'll add a couple of pets to the mix, too as if they haven't got enough to occupy them.

Doesn't excuse any of the behaviour, let's not enable abuse.

Why is this always trotted out as though it completely negates whatever vile behaviour the op has witnessed?
It hardly matters if this woman acts like Mary Poppins the rest of the time, she's still capable of behaving like an obnoxious bully towards her own baby.
No excuse is good enough.

Can I ask how you know they are all hers? Could be family members children that she’s looking after and is stressed?

I agree op. I know women who have kids and shitty lives. Then go on to have more kids and make their lives even more shit. It's bizarre. Like they have zero control of their lives and are lambs to the slaughter. I find it incredibly depressing actually

I think what you are seeing on the train right now is shitty parenting, no excuses for it.
The bar is so low but it still shocks me sometimes.

It sounds awful how you describe it and I do feel sad for the child, however I have to agree with the above poster - you're only seeing a small snippet of a parent's day. So to judge based on that is a bit off I'd say.

With regard to this:

If you can't handle children or your behaviours and responses why keep having them?

Well, I don't think people think "oh my last 2 kids were horrifically hard work and stressful so I know, I'll have another". They more likely think something like, "there's good and bad things about having kids and most of the time the good far outweighs the bad, so I'll have another one". Also, you don't actually know for sure before you add another child to your life, how that's going to feel and how you're going to cope. The first 3 might have been a dream, and then number 4 is just too much but you don't know that til after you've had number 4. It's not as black and white as you say.

So what did you do to support her?

Don't be daft, ffs.

Because the 3 are calling her mum and stated the DB is their sister.

Have you ever acted with your child in public in a way you later regret?

It's not my job to support her?

In the way she's acting I'd likely also be a victim of her abuse!

Now she's saying she's gonna smack her when she gets home because she's embarrassed her.

Well yeah this update is appalling.

I'm not excusing anything .
But you don't know this woman or her children .. some people do strange things when they are embarrassed. Maybe she didn't want to be seen as not trying to control bad behaviour on the train so over did it..
The point is you don't know... And it's not really any of your business 😕

There will always be parents like this regardless of how many kids they have..... she would likely be the same if it was just one child

Yabu

Also, you are now drip feeding as we aren't all tripping over ourselves to agree with you!

Have you? Do tell...

They just happened to refer to her as their sister rather than her name?…sure