To think if you can't handle the children you've got you should stop having kids?

[Absolutelybloomingflabbergasted]

I know this is subjective but, I wanted 3 kids and knew after 1 I wouldn't be able to handle a younger child and balance life effectively.

I'm sat on the train, and, this isn't the first occurrence.

A mother with 4 children, shouting at her baby, telling her she's naughty because she's upset and being a normal baby.

Yes, we all get stressed but she's blatantly lying to her, saying she needs to shut up as the train guards coming and doesn't want to hear her racket, threatening to throw her dummy in the bin for being bad. Saying she never should of taken them out, 'especially her' 'she's too bad to take out and always does this, she never learns and neither do I, next time she's staying home'

I understand parenthood is stressful, but now all the other kids are shouting at this poor child, who is still in a pram and looks no older than 1.5

I found toddlerhood the most stressful.

I understand pregnancy and children come unexpectedly but, I see this very frequently in my area, which is very poverty striken and there is not a great deal of support.

I feel so upset for this child.

I'm sick of seeing people having more children then they are phyiscally able to and then pretty much abusing them.

I came from a household that did similar and refuse to do this to not only myself but my children.

I know this will likely be conflicting but, I believe behaviour is echoed from the role model or parent, in general but especially in this case.

It makes me so sad.

There are no 'secret abusers' posting here

you, however, are coming across as extremely bitchy

And weirdly defensive

Im sure your child will be thrilled to find out one day that they were a practice run to see if you’re cut out for parenting and it turns out that no, not so much. But at least they made for a fun test project!

I didn't sit with my nose in the air at all, I couldn't even see them!

The train was busy, I was sat further down the carriage.

But, of course, its my fault, for her reactions and actions!

3 children might have been easy for her, 4 might be a struggle.

I didn’t struggle at all with 1 DC, it was easy. Having 2 DC is harder than I could have imagined and it is a struggle (hopefully will be easier when they are older).

Sometimes there’s no way of knowing until you have more children.

You couldn't see her yet know all the details...

This is laughable, my child isn't a test run.

I know my capabilities, I'm not about to add additional stress for the sake of having 3 kids and then complaining about my life and how stressful it is!

I'm sure my DC will be thankful I put her first and not just had more and more children for the sake of it.

I actually agree OP. I wanted three but knew i couldn't handle more than two.

There's always someone who says 'oh you just saw a snapshot of her day etc etc'., but what you describe is shit parenting regardless. We all get it wrong sometimes, I certainly have, but some people really are shit parents.

I totally agree with the OP

I'm actually so shocked to see so many people thinking thos behaviour is acceptable and I'm just making it up!

What has the world come to

This is just a bit of a silly comment tbh.

A tough day is no excuse for abusing your children.

I mean evidently one is just that little bit too much for you if your whole decision on having more was based on how difficult you find it parenting one. My first was a dream, my second makes me look like I feed them nothing but red bull and haribo. Though I don’t yell like this in public, I don’t think anyone will try and say this behaviour is acceptable.

I never said it was acceptable behaviour..
I just dont agree with your behaviour either

Thank you so much for this!

Another poster said I was treating my child as a test run, when I believe I actually did something to benefit her!

When someone understands their own limitations and capabilities,I believe that makes them a strong person and a effective parent.

We all make mistakes, we have all had stressful circumstances or said something we regret.

It's sad to see so many people either stating this behaviour is acceptable or I'm in the wrong.

@StarlightLime My partially-sighted daughter slipped out of my hand and made a run for the road while I was dealing with my son who was inconsolable and teething. I grabbed her quite hard and I was shaken and upset and I went really over-the-top in telling her off, and she burst into tears. I got a telling off from a dear older woman, and felt very shame-faced. Not very proud of that.

Possibly but maybe it will lighten what is obviously a not even veiled dig at ‘povos breeding too much’, or whatever other smug ‘I’m better than most people’ line the op is going for.

I don't really understand what I've done wrong, if I'm completely honest.

But, okay!

There are some batshit responses on this thread!

OP, you're not alone in your thinking

I think some people are not cut out for parenting, whether they have 1 or 10 children. This mum probably would be the same with 2 children as with 4.

What do you think would have happened to your parenting if you had the 3 kids you wanted?

So, stating that you shouldn't abuse your children or have more if you're clearly struggling is trying to claim I'm better than most? I haven't said that once nor stated I'm perfect. But, you go off!

I think this is the case many times. Men who refuse to wear condoms or get snipped. Women who have a contraception failure.

No you didn't do anything... That's the point really..

Practice what you preach and all that

Hmm I don't know. This woman obviously sounds awful and I feel sorry for the little one, but it's hard to judge without seeing the whole picture. I'd be upset too seeing that and would probably make a snap judgement about her, unfortunately.

Our first has autism and was quite a handful at that age. I must admit, I did do the "Oh no! The mans coming" routine a few times with him. Sometimes you'll say what you can to calm a situation, when you've got a bunch of strangers looking and judging you.

Some people (in laws) thought we were too soft and should have disciplined him more (they are smackers, we're not) so therefore felt we couldn't handle him well.
We had another child and what a blessing she's been. Such a lovely girl. And our son's grown into a fine young man.
My point is, I reserve judgement when I can, about whether other people should have another child, based on how I think they parent the first.

Oh come on now. You know (we all know) that the scenario from your op isn’t acceptable behaviour. Yes may have been a bad day or just an abusive parent but that’s just hiding your real intentions and view points isn’t it. Maybe others haven’t quite caught on to what you’re actually stirring but it’s there.

Terrible parenting is terrible parenting, it’s got nothing to do with how many DC the woman has.