For letting 18 year old son lay on my lap

[Katemax82]

Last night I was on the sofa with my 5 year old ds, he was tired and was dozing off. My 18 year old ds was the other side of me and put a blanket under his head and laid it on my lap (he wasn't feeling well for context). He husband walked in and said "your too old for that" to my ds. He claims its "fucking weird" for an 18 year old to lay his head on his mums lap. He is autistic and felt ill. Is he right?

No he’s not right, your husband is weird.

Your husband is a dick. You don't stop loving your children at any age. I'm in my 40s and still have a cuddle with my mum.

Yeah your husband’s being weird

I wonder if he would have felt the same if you had an 18-year-old daughter instead?
is this about age with him or some kind of toxic masculinity thing?

Your husband is an idiot. What an uncaring dick.

Over Christmas my 20 year old uni student Ds saw that Dh and I were awake in bed, sat up, drinking a lovely coffee and chatting and did what he usually does and got in the middle of us in the bed. He misses us and his younger brother when he is away at uni, we have a massive super king bed, I don't think this is weird. We are clothed.

I think it is lovely that your son wanted to do what his younger brother was doing, getting comfort from his Mother. There is nothing weird about it.

This is exactly what I think

Your husband is wrong and sounds horrible.

Let me guess, he’s not your 18 yo’s father?

He's weird. Is he d’s dad? Is it a jealously thing?
it would not be weird even if he were not ill or autistic, he’s your child.

Ds’s*

That's just sad. 16yo DS still does cuddles & often when I'm feeling low he'll give me them.

Unfortunately it's that thing where your other half sees physical affection as purely sexual & that's kinda gross.

Head on lap- totally fine. Sitting on lap- weird.

He is his dad

My adult DD's cuddle up to me, they'll also cuddle up to their grandparents. Nothing wrong with that

My daughter is 20 and she still does this!!

Protecting 'his territory', some men are like this and feel threatened by older male dc. I guess it's sf as they would be more likely to do this.
It's a bit like a group of animals where the adult male chases out the younger males.
You are mum, if you are happy then that's good enough, it's lovely you care enough to give him comfort and closeness when he feels poorly.

He's wrong. It's not weird. Humans are social animals with lifelong family bonds and we seek physical comfort from those we are close with (usually, obvs exceptions apply!). You never stop loving your children op, and it's ok to show them.

Not unusual at all, how lovely DS still gets comfort being around you like this. Especially when he is unwell.

I would shut that down with your DH straight away. Awful man.

I hope my DS still wants to cuddle up to me at that age 🥹 he’s 10 and towering over me already feel like he’s never been a little boy and he’s getting away from me too quickly 😢

Cross post, his df, he feels awkward, but it is your choice. Dh is odd for having weird thoughts about it. Maybe he thinks it's sexual, but that's his problem.
Be a great mum, that's what matters.

What a mean thing to say to your DS. My DS is the same age and we often have a cuddle. I love that he still wants to cuddle me. Him and DH are a bit more man-hug and back slappy now but I still get the cuddles and I hope that doesn't change because I still cuddle my Mum and Dad.

Did you ask him exactly what age it became weird, and why?

It sounds like you are a lovely mum.

Of course it’s not “weird”.

Oh gosh that's not weird.

My niece and nephew grew up next door. She is 22 he is 20. Christmas Eve we always have a film. This year I was in middle, them either side, then my four split two each side of them, all cuddled in under the duvet.

My 16yo son sat on my knee last night... I think it's lovely that they can ask for physical comfort like that, no matter their age. Your h is being ridiculous.

Oh this is just lovely ❤️