For letting 18 year old son lay on my lap

[Katemax82]

Last night I was on the sofa with my 5 year old ds, he was tired and was dozing off. My 18 year old ds was the other side of me and put a blanket under his head and laid it on my lap (he wasn't feeling well for context). He husband walked in and said "your too old for that" to my ds. He claims its "fucking weird" for an 18 year old to lay his head on his mums lap. He is autistic and felt ill. Is he right?

Male here, your hubby was wrong. Your son was ill, and is autistic, I don't see the issue. Would your husband be gay if he touched a man? I think not. Tell him to act like modern man, and not a 70s stereotype.

To become a man? Jesus christ, you sound wonderful.

Nothing wrong with it OP, my eldest is only 6 but loves a cuddle, I hope he still wants one at 18!

We all need a hug or cuddle sometimes . Is your H on the spectrum?

I love this! I have a 1 year old DS who shares our super king too (more often than yours probably ) and I hope he always wants to come and get in the big bed!

My DB is over 40 and will still try to sit on your DM and give her a cuddle. Normally this is met with a quick punch or a smack as he is too heavy 😂

My DD’s are 19 & 18 and we still sit and cuddle on the sofa. My DD also likes her back or feet tickled. They both also sit and cuddle their dad. I don’t understand why anyone would find it weird.

Surprising he’s so cold towards his son!

My dd is still 15 and still cuddles up. I’m sure I did with my Mum at 18. I hope DS still does!

I was referring to the fathers 1970s attitude. I am not seeing the link you are making in relation to that.

Seems fine to me, although I don't know what being autistic has to do with anything

@okayokokay oh just stop now, you're being ridiculous. "Be a man" such a pointless remark, they don't suddenly have adult brains the moment they turn 18.

We don't want boys to grow into men who don't understand the value of platonic affection and the importance of caring touch. They will make better humans and future fathers if their needs are met.

Maybe you should go read some child development information from sometime more recent than the 1930s. Sounds like you didn't get enough cuddles either.

Definitely not weird!

OK that's actually adorable!!

Exactly the same here! These little bonding moments mean such a lot.

OP, your husband is being an absolute idiot - what a cold and uptight attitude to have towards your own child. I wouldn't be taking his advice.

My son is in his 30s with his own home and girlfriend. We often lay together when he visits to watch tv and chat. It’s called love ❤️

Nothing wrong with it at all, I hope my DD still wants to cuddle me when she's your DS age and if I have any future children girls or boys I hope they all want to cuddle me!

I asked DH about his opinion on it and he said nothing wrong with it at all, his mum isn't affectionate and never has been but his Dad still grabs DH and his brothers and sister and gives them a cuddle and kiss on the top of the head whenever he sees them (they are 22, 26, 28 and DH is 32 for context!)

@Katemax82

.. husband walked in and said "your too old for that" to my ds. He claims its "fucking weird" for an 18 year old to lay his head on his mums lap. He is autistic and felt ill. Is he right?

Does your husband think he's a stag fending off the younger challenger? 🌹

Husband is an idiot, he’s tried to ruin a lovely touching moment. My son is 16 and lays his head on my lap when he needs some support or just a little tlc. I hope that he does that whenever he needs some closeness and whatever age he is. I still do it with my mum and I’m in my 40’s, I lay my head on her and she strokes my hair, sometimes I just need my mum.

on a morning my son will cuddle beside me and I love that we have such lovely bonding moments. He will snuggle with his dad occasionally but it’s usually me he heads for. Sometimes only a mum will do

Not weird at all. Especially with autistic children/adults who may need that little bit more comfort.

I hope that if my DS still wants cuddles as an adult that he feels comfortable enough to ask or prompt them as I will certainly be giving them!

Tell your DH to mind his own business.

You sound like some sort of Victorian-era patriarch

Eh? I've laid like that on my mum and I'm 30! They are still your children

People like you are the reason why men suffer with mental health so much, they don’t feel like they will get the support and will be ridiculed. They feel the need to ‘man up’ and not be a ‘man-child’ 🙄

DS comes home from uni to get away and get some sleep (he doesn't live too far away). He'll often fall asleep on my shoulder or on my lap just watching TV. He doesn't do it in front of DH though as I have a similarly weird one who would also probably comment on it. Definite toxic masculinity - he thinks grown men shouldn't be coming home for cuddles with their mum.

I think it's lovely, a sign of a great mum-son relationship.

There are days when we all feel like we need our mums still (those of us lucky enough to have great mums who are still with us etc)

No it's not weird, kids always need their mums no matter how old they are! Do you still hug or does DH think that's weird too? I still hug my nearly 13 year old!