For letting 18 year old son lay on my lap

[Katemax82]

Last night I was on the sofa with my 5 year old ds, he was tired and was dozing off. My 18 year old ds was the other side of me and put a blanket under his head and laid it on my lap (he wasn't feeling well for context). He husband walked in and said "your too old for that" to my ds. He claims its "fucking weird" for an 18 year old to lay his head on his mums lap. He is autistic and felt ill. Is he right?

Your husband is a dick!

of course it’s not weird. My children can lay their heads on my lap whenever they want, and I hope they know that I will always give them comfort whenever they need it.

If that's what your son wanted to do and you didn't mind then it's not weird. He was feeling poorly and wanted some reassurance. No one's ever too old for a cuddle from a parent in that situation.

Your husband's a twat. I don't think it makes a difference that your son's autistic, either; it would be just as normal and fine for him to be affectionate or want some comfort if he wasn't autistic.

Some people like a lot of physical contact with loved ones and others don't - neither one is weird! What IS weird (and also very unkind) is making an issue out of it like your husband did.

Stop feeding this one, it'll only keep coming back

Idiot. My son is 22 and needed a proper comforting cuddle from me a few weeks ago. So that’s what he got. My husband would have done the same (though I was number one choice).

Dd 17 still cuddles up.

Your husband is nasty, op

Are you ok @okayokokay ?

Ive got a 19 and 21 year old both big army lads that still come and lean on me.
Sometimes when there in there funny moods they sit on my lap i cant move there to big lol.
Not strange or weird.

I'm one of seven siblings, ranging in ages from late twenties to late thirties. One of my favourite things every year at Christmas is all seven of us squishing up with mum on the big sofa for cuddles and the Muppets Christmas Carol. My brothers are the cuddliest of all and love a good mum snuggle. They're all happy, healthy, well adjusted adult men. "Being a man" does not mean "severing yourself from all need of affection, comfort and reassurance".

I was saying the father should behave like a modern, NOT telling the son to become man. So not sure what your issue is?

Both of my DSs are in their 30s and come to me (and their DF, sometimes) for hugs. One has ASD and needs more hugs than the other, but the point is that they come to me. I don’t and, never have, made them hug. It’s entirely up to them. We are an affectionate family.

I'm 45 and I've just had a cry and a cuddle with my dad as I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today. Your husband is in the wrong.

I hope my DD's still want a cuddle at 18!

Tell him to bollocks.

I was ill recently and mum came by to help at home as H had to work. When he was sorting kids dinner I laid on the sofa and had a hug with her because I was feeling totally crap. I’m 42! It’s not weird. It’s family caring for each other.

Whilst there is nothing intrinsically wrong with it, most young men would not want, or need. this level of intimacy with their mum. You seem almost too delighted about him doing it which makes me think there is some co-dependency going on there.

Oh god, I hope my son will always want to cuddle up to me! No matter how old he gets.

Definitely not weird, it’s lovely how close you both are.

Your husband is wierd for thinking its wierd? Has he seen too much wierd incest porn? Because I can't for the life of me think what else would make him think it's odd. I hope my son wants to have cuddles and be close like this when he's a teen 😊

Weird comment ftom your husband. You did nothing wrong.

I hope mine still wants to do this when he is 18.

Its lovely that yours still does and is not weird at all.

But do we not have to prepare our sons for the brutal world that they will encounter?

How about raising sons who will bring more kindness into the world and make it a bit better.