For letting 18 year old son lay on my lap

[Katemax82]

Last night I was on the sofa with my 5 year old ds, he was tired and was dozing off. My 18 year old ds was the other side of me and put a blanket under his head and laid it on my lap (he wasn't feeling well for context). He husband walked in and said "your too old for that" to my ds. He claims its "fucking weird" for an 18 year old to lay his head on his mums lap. He is autistic and felt ill. Is he right?

Maybe if he was in touch more with his feelings he wouldn't have lost*

*I mean obviously not really. But I don't think the deeply messed up dynamics of royal families/political dynasties at the time are anything to emulate.

Yh seeing another man laying on your wifes lap is weird as fuck for any man BUT not being able to distinguish that man as a stranger or being your son/stepchild is a sign of brain injury....

Fingers crossed he gets it sorted out sooner rather then later 😒

I still occasionally sit on my dad's knee.

Last week I was taken ill with chest pains, and while waiting for the ambulance, ds, who's 16yo, came and cuddled up next to me in bed. It was a lovely moment in a time when I was not at my best.

(It was covid induced pleurisy, so better than it could have been)

Awww poor kid. My DD's cuddle up with DH on the sofa watching TV. Why wouldn't you have affection in a family?

It makes me think of the Spartan mums and their "come back on your shield or on it." And once when the sole survivor of a battle returned and his own mother was so cross with him for not dying she killed him with a roof tile. I like history but I am glad I am alive now. I think men should be too.

How old is too old to want comforting by your mum when you're ill?

Weird from your husband OP. Perhaps there was a lack of physical affection growing up from his parents? Maybe he wanted that with his own Mum and never got it.

Ugh.

He sounds jealous. If not, then he’s just an idiot. Or perhaps a jealous idiot.

What a lovely lad you have, enjoy the cuddles.

My DS would do just this. He is 19 and also autistic. Absolutely nothing wrong with it.

It doesn't matter that he was ill or that he's autistic, he can have a cuddle with his mum if he wants to!

Please tell me you don’t have a son. If you do, your parenting will no doubt create another disciple for Andrew Tate. Well done you.

What a bizarre comment. Wanting affection doesn’t point to co-dependency. Would you say the same if it was a daughter doing the same? Would you expect a son to be pushed away when they need a hug or some TLC? Sharing affection is a sign of strength, knowing they have support when needed and able to share love with those they care for. It’s something to be celebrated, not frowned upon

@Alwaysgoingforit ,

It's probably just thinking @Katemax82 husband that his 18 Yr old son is far too grown up for stuff like that,
percieves as something you would do with a youngish child,

Men and boys are quite often socially conditioned brainwashed to not show obvious vulnerablilities just in case its taken advantage as a weakness amongst men,

there is rare occasions when it's OK to show affection or emotion and passion such as at football ⚽️ or other types of sports matches,
that's probably another reason why they are so popular thinking about it,
realize of pent up stress too..

Cuddler is one thing, but that isnt what the OP is talking about!

Your husband is a cunt. HTH.

@okayokokay you do know the OP's DH is not her son's father don't you? So he hasn't known her DS his whole life and doesn't necessarily have her DS's best interests at heart. I don't think the OP specified how long she has been with her DH but it may not even have been that long.

@okayokokay

Aixa al-Hurra was the feisty, determined mother of Boabdil, the last Emir of Granada. She earned her place in history for having rebuked her son for the loss of Granada in 1492, famously quoting;
“Do not cry as a woman for what you could not defend as a man.”
Aixa was a politically active queen, wielding a great amount of influence on matters of state during the final years of the Emirate of Granada. No woman in Moorish history fought like Aixa to save Granada from its final demise, which resulted in the famous moment when her son Boabdil handed over the key of Granada to 15th century Catholic powerhouse of Isabel of Castille and Fernando of Aragon

Yeah, she may have been a feisty woman but she sure had a whole load of issues with internalised misogyny going on there!

There’s nothing to ‘fall for’. The son wanted some affection, and he got it.

Of course he is wrong! I am a grown adult with two children and I still cuddle up and lay my head on my mum the same way and I probably will never stop.

I would be super upset if my kids grew up and didn't want to do the same because they feel they are way too big after a certain age. As a mother that's still your baby no matter what age!

Quite funny how you've accurately identified a problem - men aren't allowed to be pampered and are insulted if they show softness or vulnerability - and then decided that everyone needs to lean even further into it.

@okayokokay well wotevs, you're not really making a lot of sense now.

To summarise, nowt wrong with ANYONE having a cuddle and getting some completely innocent comfort from ANYONE they love at ANY age and irrespective of their sex. It's a healthy human activity and has been since the dawn of time.

Why do you have a problem with that?