Awful gift off DP and he’s being precious about it!

[Gertrood]

My birthday yesterday. DP handed me a gift which turned out to be a hideous charm bracelet - clearly meant for children. Made from pure metal. I don’t wear jewellery at the best of times but would have worn something decent on special occasions - this however I would never wear. I’m normally a very grateful person but I half thought this was a joke until I saw how proud of himself he was so I said “it’s a lovely thought but I don’t really wear jewellery”. He said “well you’ll have to wear this as it cost me a lot of money, anyway you’ve not opened the other one yet” - so I opened the other one and it was a small bag of metal charms. Awfully childish and generic ones like a stiletto, a little metal car!? A unicorn!!!

So I said “as I said, it’s a nice thought but I won’t wear this, it’s for children” he said “it’s not for children! You dont have to wear all the charms but I do insist you wear this one that I chose especially” - it was a charm saying “true love” 🤦‍♀️ I’m getting annoyed at this point and say “you chose that one especially? So the others were just bought in bulk?” So he said “no, they were all different sets and I chose this one for you”.

I explained that charms on a bracelet are meant to at least resemble something to the owner. This stuff couldn’t be more opposite to what I’m like. I’ve never worn a stiletto in my life - I have no interest in cars - I don’t have a thing for unicorns!!??

Si anyway I said “I’m sorry if you spent a lot of money on it but I won’t wear it, it’s not me at all” I then suggested he give it to his daughter (12). He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

He’s in a huff about it but AIbU to think this was really bloody thoughtless? I’d have rather got nothing at all. It’s tacky as hell. The best bit, I looked at his eBay account where I guessed it was from and it cost him £2.99 - the charms were a job lot for £3 including the one he “chose especially”

I got a charm bracelet off temu it cost £15. Each of the charms were £3 and up. A bunch of roses in marks and Spencer are £3! He could have done a lot better even if he was completely skint!

Where? Who would want to buy them? I have an old one thrown in a drawer somewhere that I got as a gift from a sibling.
Never threw it out in case they asked about it but if I thought someone would buy it, I’d gladly take the money.

Yes this

Me too! I kept going back to check if it was a zombie

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4738783-bf-got-his-daughter-a-gift-about-our-in-joke-aibu

Maybe it was this one actually

I got screenwash and socks one year from my DP because my birthday crept up on him and I'll always need screenwash and socks. 🙄
I shamed him big time, he was never going to be forgiven for that! Ten years later and all gifts are rated against screenwash and socks!
Your DP sounds like he can't even see the error of his ways - not a keeper!

Does the one his daughter has include a cannabis leaf? He sounds like an utter halfwit.

I'd tell him you know it's £2 from eBay and tell him not to bother in future if you mean so little .

Id actually dump him .

And he's get equally shit gifts from me from now on

If you keep him - I wouldn't

So he's a tacky liar with a baffling brain (getting his daughter your same birthday gift? Huh??) who lies, gaslights, and turns what should be a GIFT (something that improves your life or is just lovely) into an annoyance you now have to deal with.

I'd lovingly wrap that ugly bracelet, gift it to him, and inside include a note that says "It's over" in gorgeous handwriting.

He is as cheap and nasty as the bracelet and doesn't hesitate to show it
I'm not materialistic in the slightest but it's a symbol of how little he cares about you

ICK.

Re-evaluate your relationship with this lying loser.

Oh my God, it sounds like a comedy act!

So he is a liar.

It didn't cost a lot of money and he is making you feel bad over something that costs less than a coffee.

He is a jerk and manipulative and honestly.... I would LTB.

It's not about the money, it's about the lie and then guilting you for having perfectly valid feelings AND not knowing you well enough to get you something you would like.

Some of the other charms include a cross (I’m very atheist), a fairy, a cannabis leaf!! A sun with a face on it … just really horrible tacky stuff.

Am I a bad person for laughing out loud at this
To be fair, you're pretty funny OP

I'm not superficial or materialistic but I'd have to draw the line somewhere

I'd definitely LTB for this

It would give me the ick

So how long have you been with this 'charmer'? (pun intended)

A cheap bracelet is bad enough, but to lie about it being 'very expensive' and a charm 'specially chosen' would be it for me. I'd be done. He's not just clueless and cheap, he's a liar about it, too.

I'd be noping my way to the station to catch the nope train for Nope Town, pronto.

@Gertrood You have made me laugh

I do think a decent spouse / partner would not be worried about exchanging a present but if it costs less than a decent coffee - that is more embarrassing.

I would be having serious thoughts about this relationship. It's not even the cost of the gift. Its the lack of thought, disrespect, lies and general attitude.

I have a charm bracelet with new and vintage charms. Each one was a gift. Each carefully selected to reflect me, my interests or life event. It must be worth around £1000 by now. You can pick up some cheaper silver charms for around £5. I wouldn't care if it is a cheaper charm if there was thought put into it.

Not even stoners are high enough to think that bracelet looks good. We're not buying that.

I am old, and don't wear jewellery (though I like owning a few pieces). When I was a teenager in the 1960s, charm bracelets were a thing. But they were made of silver or gold, as were the charms, so they were quite expensive. The charms were bought separately, so you could add your own, or say you wanted one when someone asked you wanted for Christmas or your birthday.

A charm bracelet like those ones I wouldn't mind wearing.

But a not a load of tat off Ebay FFS!

He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

He’s so delusional what the hell!! It’s not for children yet it’s something that was suitable enough for his 12 year old daughter who’s a CHILD. The fact that his own daughter has said that she won’t wear it because she thinks it’s embarrassing just says it all really.

How can he spend 3 quid on your birthday present? This is like an early April fools joke. I’m hoping you’ll be presented with the real present in the morning….

Yes I was also going to say that this is the type of jewellery that’ll make your skin turn another colour! He must seriously hate you because I don’t understand

As people have already asked. What did he get you for Christmas and your last birthday? Is this a one-off?
If this cheap-azzed stuff is his stock in trade, remember that as the years drag by, you will resent him more and more, unless you both decide to not give each other gifts. If he expects nice stuff while giving out crap, you need to think hard about him as a person.

You’ve picked a right charmer there (no pun intended hahaha)

How old is he and what kind of income does he have?

I can't imagine any of the men I know giving this as a gift to a female partner.

I was going to suggest that he has very little money for some reason, but, even if that were the case, he would surely know that an E-Bay charm bracelet wasn't appropriate in this context.

I would rather have a bunch of yellow roses from Aldi, they are about that price.

Is there something in the equation which you haven't mentioned which might shed some light on his odd choice of gift? There is something in what you have said about him which suggests something such as limited experience of relationships or maybe an unusual upbringing.