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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awful gift off DP and he’s being precious about it!

348 replies

Gertrood · 28/01/2024 19:37

My birthday yesterday. DP handed me a gift which turned out to be a hideous charm bracelet - clearly meant for children. Made from pure metal. I don’t wear jewellery at the best of times but would have worn something decent on special occasions - this however I would never wear. I’m normally a very grateful person but I half thought this was a joke until I saw how proud of himself he was so I said “it’s a lovely thought but I don’t really wear jewellery”. He said “well you’ll have to wear this as it cost me a lot of money, anyway you’ve not opened the other one yet” - so I opened the other one and it was a small bag of metal charms. Awfully childish and generic ones like a stiletto, a little metal car!? A unicorn!!!

So I said “as I said, it’s a nice thought but I won’t wear this, it’s for children” he said “it’s not for children! You dont have to wear all the charms but I do insist you wear this one that I chose especially” - it was a charm saying “true love” 🤦‍♀️ I’m getting annoyed at this point and say “you chose that one especially? So the others were just bought in bulk?” So he said “no, they were all different sets and I chose this one for you”.

I explained that charms on a bracelet are meant to at least resemble something to the owner. This stuff couldn’t be more opposite to what I’m like. I’ve never worn a stiletto in my life - I have no interest in cars - I don’t have a thing for unicorns!!??

Si anyway I said “I’m sorry if you spent a lot of money on it but I won’t wear it, it’s not me at all” I then suggested he give it to his daughter (12). He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

He’s in a huff about it but AIbU to think this was really bloody thoughtless? I’d have rather got nothing at all. It’s tacky as hell. The best bit, I looked at his eBay account where I guessed it was from and it cost him £2.99 - the charms were a job lot for £3 including the one he “chose especially”

OP posts:
Iamnotalemming · 29/01/2024 23:50
Clapping Nice Job GIF by Adam Lambert

Nicely done OP

Newhaven12 · 29/01/2024 23:55

moomoomoo27 · 29/01/2024 23:32

Really sad to hear you've ended it, I was looking forward to him proposing with a Haribo engagement ring.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Howling at this!

MissHoollie · 29/01/2024 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

6pence · 30/01/2024 00:04

Maybe your gift was what his ex girlfriend was made to hand back as she finished with him.

Just think of the next lucky recipient 😃 Poor cow.

Justpontificating · 30/01/2024 00:55

OP. I’m desperate to see this charm bracelet now!
can you post a pic

ps 💐🥂for your birthday

Nanaof1 · 30/01/2024 01:14

moomoomoo27 · 29/01/2024 23:32

Really sad to hear you've ended it, I was looking forward to him proposing with a Haribo engagement ring.

LOL! I'm dead!😆😆😉

Nttttt · 30/01/2024 01:22

Well done OP!!! He sounds like a loser. I hope you told him that you found it on eBay for a couple quid 😂

Duckingfun · 30/01/2024 02:01

This is even worse than a periscope

doilooklikeicare · 30/01/2024 02:02

Duckingfun · 30/01/2024 02:01

This is even worse than a periscope

GrinGrinGrinGrin

Presterjohn71 · 30/01/2024 02:57

When they give you crap like that, then you are entitled to treat it like crap.

Thedogscollar · 30/01/2024 03:17

Duckingfun · 30/01/2024 02:01

This is even worse than a periscope

OMG, of course the periscope!! 😂
What the hell is wrong with these men?
Well done in getting rid OP.

whatsmyname123 · 30/01/2024 05:59

I had one of them as a kid...........I wouldn't be impressed.

whatsmyname123 · 30/01/2024 06:12

whatsmyname123 · 30/01/2024 05:59

I had one of them as a kid...........I wouldn't be impressed.

I didn't wear it then either, went rusty in a pot 🤣. Put it back on eBay and get yourself some wine or chocolate.

Calliopespa · 30/01/2024 07:36

MysteriousInspector · 29/01/2024 22:11

I hate the idea of thanking Granny because it is polite.

Patronising, more like. Especially as she will think she got it right, which is unfair, and makes it more likely she'd give another, related, present which, although wrong, is politely accepted.

DF got me Newberry Fruits each Christmas for years because he thought I liked them because he gave me them the previous Christmas and I didn't tell him because of politeness.... I think I managed to summon the courage eventually - in my 30sBlush

Well it’s different if it goes on and on repeating, but it’s not that usual to repeat a gift that consistently. But bigger picture, does it actually MATTER? So you have a box of Newberry Fruits to regift? This case was different as she’d been told he had spent A LOT of money 😂 And if your dad then insisted you ate them …

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 30/01/2024 07:52

Of all the bad birthday threads, this one is hilarious. I can't believe he looked at that bracelet and thought "she'll love that, she can match with my 12yo daughter"

Loubelle70 · 30/01/2024 09:39

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 29/01/2024 11:23

Ha Ha. Or a silver coloured Middle Finger charm ( from a joke shop)
He probably won't even notice it for a while. but when he does 😂

It was his air of injury that got me. Probably thinks all women are like Magpies, spellbound by shiny objects, and is proud of his cleverness in getting away with a minimal birthday spend and annoyed that you weren't dazzled.

🤣
I know...what a cheap ass clown.
Also if my daughter (as me) was gifted this she would say 'whats this shit?' 'cheap bastard'. Itd be a dealbreaker...not the cost but that he wouldn't know her at all to buy her tat..instead of say, a small sampling pkt from hotel chocolat...it reeks of a man that goes fuck it itll do...no it wont.

MysteriousInspector · 30/01/2024 15:13

Calliopespa · 30/01/2024 07:36

Well it’s different if it goes on and on repeating, but it’s not that usual to repeat a gift that consistently. But bigger picture, does it actually MATTER? So you have a box of Newberry Fruits to regift? This case was different as she’d been told he had spent A LOT of money 😂 And if your dad then insisted you ate them …

I would want to know that I had picked something the recipient actually liked.
Now, if and when I am a granny, I won't know whether the thanks I receive is because they were just being polite (because politeness, because it's poor old Granny), or whether they really like it, which, to me, is the whole point of a present whatever my age and theirs.

End of derail.

EekGoesTheBaby · 30/01/2024 15:38

Good for you, OP!

'It's the thought that counts,'... And his thought was, 'Meh, that'll do.'

LutonBeds · 30/01/2024 17:19

Christmasnutcracker · 28/01/2024 21:31

Where? Who would want to buy them? I have an old one thrown in a drawer somewhere that I got as a gift from a sibling.
Never threw it out in case they asked about it but if I thought someone would buy it, I’d gladly take the money.

I’ve only just seen this but I cleaned an old one that I got from an ex for my 30th and put it on Vinted. Sold for £50 in less than an hour. Try on there, I’ve found jewellery goes quite well.

RantyAnty · 30/01/2024 19:27

Hope you can switch out the charms to a meaningful message for him when you give his cheap tat back.

Dick and head charms.

ArnieLinson · 30/01/2024 19:43

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:07

I’ll update properly later on but this was just the final straw in a long line of lying and controlling behaviour

Well done

Shewhobecamethesun · 30/01/2024 19:45

I was fully prepared to say YABU and you were being a bit of a snob being so ungrateful. But then I got to the price and thought you must be an idiot for calling a "man" (I use that term loosely) a DP. How has it managed to get at least two woman to sleep with it I'll never know.
You are worth way more than that. You deserve way more than that. I am so glad to hear you've ended it.
Raise ya standards girl and know your worth.

Calliopespa · 30/01/2024 20:06

MysteriousInspector · 30/01/2024 15:13

I would want to know that I had picked something the recipient actually liked.
Now, if and when I am a granny, I won't know whether the thanks I receive is because they were just being polite (because politeness, because it's poor old Granny), or whether they really like it, which, to me, is the whole point of a present whatever my age and theirs.

End of derail.

Edited

Yes I suppose so. I just can’t bring myself to say I don’t like a gift. And often the next one is lovely.

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