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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awful gift off DP and he’s being precious about it!

348 replies

Gertrood · 28/01/2024 19:37

My birthday yesterday. DP handed me a gift which turned out to be a hideous charm bracelet - clearly meant for children. Made from pure metal. I don’t wear jewellery at the best of times but would have worn something decent on special occasions - this however I would never wear. I’m normally a very grateful person but I half thought this was a joke until I saw how proud of himself he was so I said “it’s a lovely thought but I don’t really wear jewellery”. He said “well you’ll have to wear this as it cost me a lot of money, anyway you’ve not opened the other one yet” - so I opened the other one and it was a small bag of metal charms. Awfully childish and generic ones like a stiletto, a little metal car!? A unicorn!!!

So I said “as I said, it’s a nice thought but I won’t wear this, it’s for children” he said “it’s not for children! You dont have to wear all the charms but I do insist you wear this one that I chose especially” - it was a charm saying “true love” 🤦‍♀️ I’m getting annoyed at this point and say “you chose that one especially? So the others were just bought in bulk?” So he said “no, they were all different sets and I chose this one for you”.

I explained that charms on a bracelet are meant to at least resemble something to the owner. This stuff couldn’t be more opposite to what I’m like. I’ve never worn a stiletto in my life - I have no interest in cars - I don’t have a thing for unicorns!!??

Si anyway I said “I’m sorry if you spent a lot of money on it but I won’t wear it, it’s not me at all” I then suggested he give it to his daughter (12). He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

He’s in a huff about it but AIbU to think this was really bloody thoughtless? I’d have rather got nothing at all. It’s tacky as hell. The best bit, I looked at his eBay account where I guessed it was from and it cost him £2.99 - the charms were a job lot for £3 including the one he “chose especially”

OP posts:
MassiveOvaryaction · 29/01/2024 18:00

@Gertrood I'll preface this by saying I've had a lot of time on my hands recently and have been binge watching crime dramas. I also have an overactive imagination.

Please make sure you give it back to him. Exactly as he gave it to you. His insisting you wear it all the time makes me think it's not as cheap as you believe. I mean the actual bracelet certainly is because you've seen the transaction, but he could have fitted it with a tracker or summat. Creepy git.

I'm glad you've ended it anyway.

ChangeAgain2 · 29/01/2024 18:04

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:02

In a rush but quick update, I’ve ended it. Best bit, he’s insisted on having the bracelet back 😂😂 gladly!

Season 1 Lol GIF by NBC

It will cost he more to return it than he paid 😆

ChangeAgain2 · 29/01/2024 18:07

Nanaof1 · 29/01/2024 14:03

He'll probably rent a safe deposit box so he can "protect" the valuable jewelry until he finds a sucker girlfriend. 😆😉

@Nanaof1

He'll probably tell them it a family heirloom.

MissHarrietBede · 29/01/2024 18:18

MassiveOvaryaction · 29/01/2024 18:00

@Gertrood I'll preface this by saying I've had a lot of time on my hands recently and have been binge watching crime dramas. I also have an overactive imagination.

Please make sure you give it back to him. Exactly as he gave it to you. His insisting you wear it all the time makes me think it's not as cheap as you believe. I mean the actual bracelet certainly is because you've seen the transaction, but he could have fitted it with a tracker or summat. Creepy git.

I'm glad you've ended it anyway.

Fuck! but yeah.

caringcarer · 29/01/2024 18:49

He clearly only thinks you're worth £2.99. Don't wear it or your wrist will go green. I'd throw it in the bin tbh.

caringcarer · 29/01/2024 18:52

sumptuous · 28/01/2024 20:01

The Pandora ones look just as cheap. It’s the thought that counts.

I'd rather have had a bar of chocolate or a latte.

kisstheblarney · 29/01/2024 19:28

MassiveOvaryaction · 29/01/2024 18:00

@Gertrood I'll preface this by saying I've had a lot of time on my hands recently and have been binge watching crime dramas. I also have an overactive imagination.

Please make sure you give it back to him. Exactly as he gave it to you. His insisting you wear it all the time makes me think it's not as cheap as you believe. I mean the actual bracelet certainly is because you've seen the transaction, but he could have fitted it with a tracker or summat. Creepy git.

I'm glad you've ended it anyway.

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Mothership4two · 29/01/2024 19:40

@Blondebutnotlegally

Must admit I'd be pretty disappointed in my parenting if my daughter got given a cheap gift and she got in an argument calling it "embarrassing".

Would you insist that your daughter wore cheap tat that she really doesn't like? Doesn't sound like great parenting to do that. Would you wear tasteless cheap rubbish just because it was a gift? The XP tried to insist that OP had to wear his 'gift' (who does that?) and so probably was doing the same with his daughter - who has every right to say 'no thanks'. If you have teenagers then you know you will hear "embarrassing" a lot.

Calliopespa · 29/01/2024 19:58

MassiveOvaryaction · 29/01/2024 18:00

@Gertrood I'll preface this by saying I've had a lot of time on my hands recently and have been binge watching crime dramas. I also have an overactive imagination.

Please make sure you give it back to him. Exactly as he gave it to you. His insisting you wear it all the time makes me think it's not as cheap as you believe. I mean the actual bracelet certainly is because you've seen the transaction, but he could have fitted it with a tracker or summat. Creepy git.

I'm glad you've ended it anyway.

It’s in the I Love You charm!! “I INSIST you at least wear this one!” 😂

MeridaBrave · 29/01/2024 20:56

I’d say. Since it was expensive I think it’s best I return it and get something I like. But what a XXXX to say it’s expensive when it was cheap on ebay.

Swizzlersandtwizzlers · 29/01/2024 20:59

Well done OP, hope you’re ok.

ilovelamp82 · 29/01/2024 21:06

Congratulations!! On to better things. No loss whatsoever.

30yearoldvirgin · 29/01/2024 21:12

This is just horrendous! Is he always like this?

TheBerry · 29/01/2024 21:22

Wow I was feeling a bit sorry for him until your last paragraph.

He sounds dismal.

MassiveOvaryaction · 29/01/2024 21:23

Calliopespa · 29/01/2024 19:58

It’s in the I Love You charm!! “I INSIST you at least wear this one!” 😂

Spot on @Calliopespa Grin

Spyral · 29/01/2024 21:36

MassiveOvaryaction · 29/01/2024 21:23

Spot on @Calliopespa Grin

The charm was 'true love', rather than 'I love you'

Gemcat1 · 29/01/2024 21:59

When we had very little money, hubby did something special for me (& vice versa). When we did have money, later on in life, he would buy me things that he knew I would like. Now he donates to charities that are important to me. To buy a cheap bracelet with grotty charms shows no thought, no care for you. Dumping him must be the greatest present you could have.

Panterus · 29/01/2024 22:08

Good for you OP

MysteriousInspector · 29/01/2024 22:11

I hate the idea of thanking Granny because it is polite.

Patronising, more like. Especially as she will think she got it right, which is unfair, and makes it more likely she'd give another, related, present which, although wrong, is politely accepted.

DF got me Newberry Fruits each Christmas for years because he thought I liked them because he gave me them the previous Christmas and I didn't tell him because of politeness.... I think I managed to summon the courage eventually - in my 30sBlush

notanoxfordcomma · 29/01/2024 22:28

Well done OP. And happy birthday ❤️😭

notanoxfordcomma · 29/01/2024 22:28

Ahhh no not 😭!! That was 100% meant to be a 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

goingdownfighting · 29/01/2024 22:35

His poor daughter though

Romanempirethoughts · 29/01/2024 22:45

Good for you in having the courage to end this relationship: he didn't sound like he was a very caring partner

moomoomoo27 · 29/01/2024 23:32

Really sad to hear you've ended it, I was looking forward to him proposing with a Haribo engagement ring.

Anele22 · 29/01/2024 23:40

F