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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awful gift off DP and he’s being precious about it!

348 replies

Gertrood · 28/01/2024 19:37

My birthday yesterday. DP handed me a gift which turned out to be a hideous charm bracelet - clearly meant for children. Made from pure metal. I don’t wear jewellery at the best of times but would have worn something decent on special occasions - this however I would never wear. I’m normally a very grateful person but I half thought this was a joke until I saw how proud of himself he was so I said “it’s a lovely thought but I don’t really wear jewellery”. He said “well you’ll have to wear this as it cost me a lot of money, anyway you’ve not opened the other one yet” - so I opened the other one and it was a small bag of metal charms. Awfully childish and generic ones like a stiletto, a little metal car!? A unicorn!!!

So I said “as I said, it’s a nice thought but I won’t wear this, it’s for children” he said “it’s not for children! You dont have to wear all the charms but I do insist you wear this one that I chose especially” - it was a charm saying “true love” 🤦‍♀️ I’m getting annoyed at this point and say “you chose that one especially? So the others were just bought in bulk?” So he said “no, they were all different sets and I chose this one for you”.

I explained that charms on a bracelet are meant to at least resemble something to the owner. This stuff couldn’t be more opposite to what I’m like. I’ve never worn a stiletto in my life - I have no interest in cars - I don’t have a thing for unicorns!!??

Si anyway I said “I’m sorry if you spent a lot of money on it but I won’t wear it, it’s not me at all” I then suggested he give it to his daughter (12). He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

He’s in a huff about it but AIbU to think this was really bloody thoughtless? I’d have rather got nothing at all. It’s tacky as hell. The best bit, I looked at his eBay account where I guessed it was from and it cost him £2.99 - the charms were a job lot for £3 including the one he “chose especially”

OP posts:
TackyTimes · 28/01/2024 20:13

Get him an I'm Sorry card and put £6 in it to make up for your awful reaction
👌😂

Thatbloodyhedge · 28/01/2024 20:15

barkymcbark · 28/01/2024 20:05

I'd ask him for the receipt so you can take it back and get something you like, especially as it was such an expensive present. Then when he won't give it to you I'd tell him you know she's spent a fiver and it was from eBay

This 🤣🤣
Then see his reaction
What a tit

Gertrood · 28/01/2024 20:16

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 28/01/2024 20:13

You and his daughter share the same birthday date ?

or yours is for your birthday, and hers is a present anyway ?

No hers was just a random gift because he thought she’d get jealous when she saw mine 🙄 I think it more likely she would have laughed hysterically at it had she not suffered the same fate

OP posts:
Greycottage · 28/01/2024 20:20

I don’t find it funny at all.

Just speak to him. Say “do you really think it’s okay to spend £3 on my birthday gift?
Can you explain why you did that?”

It’s less than the cost of a coffee.

Jellybean23 · 28/01/2024 20:21

TackyTimes · 28/01/2024 20:13

Get him an I'm Sorry card and put £6 in it to make up for your awful reaction
👌😂

Excuse me, £5.99

😂

purplecorkheart · 28/01/2024 20:27

Expensive? Maybe he came across a dodgy seller pitched up in a pub car park late at night.
Normally. I would be saying that it is rude to be ungrateful for an gift (however awful). However in this case you are 1000% right as is his daughter. Tell him to wear them for a month and see how he gets on.

All jokes aside does he have a good side? He sounds cheap and tacky.

determinedtomakethiswork · 28/01/2024 20:30

He is a lying cheapskate gaslighter. Honestly, I would dump him.

PurpleOrchid42 · 28/01/2024 20:30

Bloody hell... a cannabis leaf?!! 🤣🤣😭😭🤣🤣

Cherrysoup · 28/01/2024 20:30

Holy crap, was it saved from last year’s cheapo Christmas crackers?! I mean, I loathe Pandora charm bracelets, I don’t understand why everyone seems to have them, notably all the kids at school, but at least that would’ve been a ‘decent’ bracelet. My charm bracelet was a new one that my DH bought to fit the few charms mum gave me years ago, a littLe barrel displaying an old pound note etc.

Have you told him where to shove it yet and have you told him to get you something decent??

Aquamarine1029 · 28/01/2024 20:35

Why are you with someone who clearly thinks so little of you? He can't be bothered to make you feel special for one day? Genuinely, I can't understand why you and so many other women settle for this utter shite. Want better.

rwalker · 28/01/2024 20:37

It was £3 just say thanks but it’s a bit shit

I was in a panic thinking he’d spent a fortune on Pandora and you’d have to pretend to like it

just go down the no gift route saves all future grief

Bestyearever2024 · 28/01/2024 20:38

He's a total wanker

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/01/2024 20:42

Even at the best of times, charm bracelets are more of an “”I really want something easy to give as a present, and that allows me to continue giving easy gifts for future occasions” gift.

And they are for children, or at least teens and maybe very young adults.

But this cheapo knock off takes the piss.

pasteloblong · 28/01/2024 20:43

Super glue it to his forehead whilst he's asleep 😂

Codlingmoths · 28/01/2024 20:52

wow this is so offputting. I don’t think I could pretend I didn’t know he’d lied about the value. Massively lied. And getting you the same present as his daughter is ick. I think you tell him you’re sorry he is upset, but he didn’t spend a lot of money on it, you suspect he’d be more out of pocket if he’d bought you a coffee at a nice cafe and it would have been better received, and the next time he thinks it’s a great idea to buy you and his daughter the same present he needs to remember this and say no that’s a terrible idea and means this present is a terrible idea. Happy birthday to me, and I hope you don’t want a decent present or any effort made for your birthday.

Bubbleohseven · 28/01/2024 20:53

What did he get you for christmas, and what did he get you for your last birthday.

Foxblue · 28/01/2024 21:01

Please keep us updated with what he says when you say 'I know you lied about choosing that charm specially, as I found the listing, and i know you only spent £3, and cant have spent long choosing it because non of the charms are stuff i like - why did you lie three times over one present?'

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 28/01/2024 21:01

Cheap and nasty.
Him and the bracelet.

Bubbleohseven · 28/01/2024 21:02

I'd be tempted to buy him a toilet brush for his birthday. With a big bow on it.

Blomdd · 28/01/2024 21:07

If it was a pandora bracelet I would've said YWBU because whilst not to everyone's taste, they're made well and quite popular (I have one from my son, not to my taste but I get a very thoughtful charm every year and it makes me think of him). But £2.99 from ebay? YANBU

Mitherations · 28/01/2024 21:13

Screenshot the eBay purchase, and put them in the bin. When he asks why you're not wearing it, tell him it is in the bin, because it's £2.99 tat off eBay rather than a birthday gift, and if he's going to buy you shite for your birthday, he could at least do you the courtesy of not taking you for a mug and lying about it too.

Dickhead.

RatatouillePie · 28/01/2024 21:15

For £2.99 you need to buy him his own one too off eBay! Insist he wears it. His 'n' hers 🤣🤣

FictionalCharacter · 28/01/2024 21:16

He said no it isn't for children, but he bought the same one for his child?!

The lying is the worst part, saying it was expensive when it was very cheap. If he can lie about this he'll lie about other things in the future.

Notthesameasitwas · 28/01/2024 21:23

Why is he saying you’ve got to wear it as it cost so much money? Tell him you know how much it was.

DinaofCloud9 · 28/01/2024 21:28

Can we see a photo of it? I want to see it with the cannabis leaf.