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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awful gift off DP and he’s being precious about it!

348 replies

Gertrood · 28/01/2024 19:37

My birthday yesterday. DP handed me a gift which turned out to be a hideous charm bracelet - clearly meant for children. Made from pure metal. I don’t wear jewellery at the best of times but would have worn something decent on special occasions - this however I would never wear. I’m normally a very grateful person but I half thought this was a joke until I saw how proud of himself he was so I said “it’s a lovely thought but I don’t really wear jewellery”. He said “well you’ll have to wear this as it cost me a lot of money, anyway you’ve not opened the other one yet” - so I opened the other one and it was a small bag of metal charms. Awfully childish and generic ones like a stiletto, a little metal car!? A unicorn!!!

So I said “as I said, it’s a nice thought but I won’t wear this, it’s for children” he said “it’s not for children! You dont have to wear all the charms but I do insist you wear this one that I chose especially” - it was a charm saying “true love” 🤦‍♀️ I’m getting annoyed at this point and say “you chose that one especially? So the others were just bought in bulk?” So he said “no, they were all different sets and I chose this one for you”.

I explained that charms on a bracelet are meant to at least resemble something to the owner. This stuff couldn’t be more opposite to what I’m like. I’ve never worn a stiletto in my life - I have no interest in cars - I don’t have a thing for unicorns!!??

Si anyway I said “I’m sorry if you spent a lot of money on it but I won’t wear it, it’s not me at all” I then suggested he give it to his daughter (12). He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

He’s in a huff about it but AIbU to think this was really bloody thoughtless? I’d have rather got nothing at all. It’s tacky as hell. The best bit, I looked at his eBay account where I guessed it was from and it cost him £2.99 - the charms were a job lot for £3 including the one he “chose especially”

OP posts:
Babadook76 · 29/01/2024 13:38

Pm for update, wasn’t expecting that 👀

Bananabreadandstrawberries · 29/01/2024 13:44

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:02

In a rush but quick update, I’ve ended it. Best bit, he’s insisted on having the bracelet back 😂😂 gladly!

Congratulations!!

Dump the sodding loser.

Onwards and upwards, there’s a better life ahead waiting for you x

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 29/01/2024 13:46

Blondebutnotlegally · 29/01/2024 13:31

😂😂 alongside your gross attitude.

She isn't a grown adult partner, she is a child whose dad bought her a gift. She likely isn't old enough to know how much it cost, or the effort he put in.

If I turned my nose up everytime my parents gifts to me weren't expensive enough, I'd probably grow up to be as rude and demeaning as yourself. Why lift other people up when you can insult them hey?!

She says while insulting people instead of ‘lifting them up’.

Why am I not surprised raging hypocrisy accompanies the claim that not teaching your daughters to be doormats is poor parenting.

pronounsbundlebundle · 29/01/2024 13:59

I do feel somewhat sorry for the daughter..... the OP can get rid, she can't.

skyeisthelimit · 29/01/2024 13:59

I'm glad you have ended it. It's shocking that he said it cost him a lot of money yet was less than £3! What a liar!

Nanaof1 · 29/01/2024 14:03

Calliopespa · 29/01/2024 10:20

I wonder if he’s going to wear it?

He'll probably rent a safe deposit box so he can "protect" the valuable jewelry until he finds a sucker girlfriend. 😆😉

DarlingDoggo · 29/01/2024 14:12

In a rush but quick update, I’ve ended it.

How could you? It was ‘true love’. 💔 🤣🤣

Nanaof1 · 29/01/2024 14:17

Dillydollydingdong · 29/01/2024 12:05

I would expect a gold bracelet. I'm looking for one for my dp.

I think OP has one for sale. I mean, you'd need to spring for a can of gold spray paint, but then you'd have an almost valuable piece of plastic tin metal, and it would even be a bit until the paint wore off and turned your wrist green.

Jk8 · 29/01/2024 14:22

He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

so he was fully aware he was buying a children's bracelet but still got offended about you calling it that ?! Twat

snowfootsteps · 29/01/2024 14:25

Well done Op.

He wants the evidence back. When he retells the story, the bracelet will grow increasingly more expensive (and you increasingly ungrateful)- from specially selected from Pandora to specially commissioned in solid gold from Cartier. He won't want you being able to produce any evidence to the contrary.

Make sure you take close up photos before you give it back- you never know when they might come in handy.

MzHz · 29/01/2024 14:28

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 29/01/2024 10:42

Some poor woman is going to hear his side of this story. "My ex was such a bitch, I bought her this really expensive, special bracelet and she told me she hated it. Woe is me."

this is what occured to me too. She dumped me cos she didn't like this bracelet i chose for her

Fucking hell, it would be bad enough if it were pandora, but some cheap tat he bough from eBay? AND giving it to his DD too (who hated it thankfully)

What a prick.

BarbieDangerous · 29/01/2024 14:30

SophieB0012 · 29/01/2024 11:00

Lol

Edited

If you have such low self worth that you’re happy to stay with a man who got you a bracelet for three quid and then lied about how expensive it is, then good for you. It’s not only that but it’s something that has absolutely no meaning to the OP. Why would anyone be happy with that as a gift from your partner? Mind you he bought his 12 year old daughter the same thing…..

Glad you’ve left OP. There’s clearly more issues in this relationship, well done for wanting better

Blondebutnotlegally · 29/01/2024 15:39

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 29/01/2024 13:46

She says while insulting people instead of ‘lifting them up’.

Why am I not surprised raging hypocrisy accompanies the claim that not teaching your daughters to be doormats is poor parenting.

Telling someone they are rude is not an insult.

Being a doormat? For accepting a gift? Christ. I'll teach my girls and boys to not throw a strop when granny gets a jumper from tesco instead of the gucci one they wanted.

Fanniefarts · 29/01/2024 15:42

Bin it! And the bracelet too!

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 29/01/2024 15:51

Blondebutnotlegally · 29/01/2024 15:39

Telling someone they are rude is not an insult.

Being a doormat? For accepting a gift? Christ. I'll teach my girls and boys to not throw a strop when granny gets a jumper from tesco instead of the gucci one they wanted.

Nope, still insulting. Keep trying. You’ll get there one day.

peakygold · 29/01/2024 16:00

What's with all the snobbery over Pandora jewellery? I suppose all MNetters only wear Tiffany 🙄

PieAndLattes · 29/01/2024 16:07

peakygold · 29/01/2024 16:00

What's with all the snobbery over Pandora jewellery? I suppose all MNetters only wear Tiffany 🙄

It’s not snobbery to say you don’t like something. Some people like it and some people don’t. Whatever floats your boat.

VoleChomper · 29/01/2024 16:10

peakygold · 29/01/2024 16:00

What's with all the snobbery over Pandora jewellery? I suppose all MNetters only wear Tiffany 🙄

Nah.

Tiffany's is a bit naff these days too tbf

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/01/2024 16:46

snowfootsteps · 29/01/2024 14:25

Well done Op.

He wants the evidence back. When he retells the story, the bracelet will grow increasingly more expensive (and you increasingly ungrateful)- from specially selected from Pandora to specially commissioned in solid gold from Cartier. He won't want you being able to produce any evidence to the contrary.

Make sure you take close up photos before you give it back- you never know when they might come in handy.

Ooh he definitely wants the evidence back so he can elaborate on the gift... to make himself look better.

annoyedatlandlord · 29/01/2024 17:05

Wow good for you! Please come back and give us the full update.

easylikeasundaymorn · 29/01/2024 17:29

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:02

In a rush but quick update, I’ve ended it. Best bit, he’s insisted on having the bracelet back 😂😂 gladly!

brilliant! bet he's saving it for the next poor woman!
Buy yourself a nice birthday present as a reward for seeing the light OP - you'll be saving whatever you would have spent on his next birthday any way.

wineandcheeseplease · 29/01/2024 17:37

totally following!!

Mitherations · 29/01/2024 17:51

Blondebutnotlegally · 29/01/2024 15:39

Telling someone they are rude is not an insult.

Being a doormat? For accepting a gift? Christ. I'll teach my girls and boys to not throw a strop when granny gets a jumper from tesco instead of the gucci one they wanted.

Nobody was detailed as throwing a strop. A more accurate comparison might be Granny getting them a jumper from Tesco, claiming it was "very expensive" and from Gucci, a lot of thought had gone into choosing it, and insising that they wear it or she'd be offended.

In which case I'd be behind the children if an argument occured because Granny would be being unreasonable, and also, lying, and I'd hope my children would be able to call a liar out.

Calliopespa · 29/01/2024 17:54

Blondebutnotlegally · 29/01/2024 15:39

Telling someone they are rude is not an insult.

Being a doormat? For accepting a gift? Christ. I'll teach my girls and boys to not throw a strop when granny gets a jumper from tesco instead of the gucci one they wanted.

I do agree that generally speaking people should accept gifts gracefully - esp from Granny! I think the issue here is more that he’s tried to pass it off as something more than it is, firstly because jewellery normally costs a lot more, secondly because he said it was expensive and thirdly as he claimed he especially chose the love charm and it was just an option in a job lot. I think you have a fair point though about cost not being a reason alone to object, and if he’d done what some other posters have mentioned they do and bought an appropriate and “ above board “ gift that was obviously not a fortune but suited the OP’s tastes and interests, I would find that much harder to criticise. And also the “ I insist you wear …” But I think you have a valid point about manners not equalling doormat. This example just kind of pushed beyond however …

MassiveOvaryaction · 29/01/2024 17:56

OneFrenchEgg · 28/01/2024 21:55

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4738783-bf-got-his-daughter-a-gift-about-our-in-joke-aibu

Maybe it was this one actually

Oh I think you might be right @OneFrenchEgg

But now @Gertrood has binned him off we'll never know what he was planning for Valentine's!