Awful gift off DP and he’s being precious about it!

[Gertrood]

My birthday yesterday. DP handed me a gift which turned out to be a hideous charm bracelet - clearly meant for children. Made from pure metal. I don’t wear jewellery at the best of times but would have worn something decent on special occasions - this however I would never wear. I’m normally a very grateful person but I half thought this was a joke until I saw how proud of himself he was so I said “it’s a lovely thought but I don’t really wear jewellery”. He said “well you’ll have to wear this as it cost me a lot of money, anyway you’ve not opened the other one yet” - so I opened the other one and it was a small bag of metal charms. Awfully childish and generic ones like a stiletto, a little metal car!? A unicorn!!!

So I said “as I said, it’s a nice thought but I won’t wear this, it’s for children” he said “it’s not for children! You dont have to wear all the charms but I do insist you wear this one that I chose especially” - it was a charm saying “true love” 🤦‍♀️ I’m getting annoyed at this point and say “you chose that one especially? So the others were just bought in bulk?” So he said “no, they were all different sets and I chose this one for you”.

I explained that charms on a bracelet are meant to at least resemble something to the owner. This stuff couldn’t be more opposite to what I’m like. I’ve never worn a stiletto in my life - I have no interest in cars - I don’t have a thing for unicorns!!??

Si anyway I said “I’m sorry if you spent a lot of money on it but I won’t wear it, it’s not me at all” I then suggested he give it to his daughter (12). He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

He’s in a huff about it but AIbU to think this was really bloody thoughtless? I’d have rather got nothing at all. It’s tacky as hell. The best bit, I looked at his eBay account where I guessed it was from and it cost him £2.99 - the charms were a job lot for £3 including the one he “chose especially”

My ex would give me something and tell me it was my favourite or I'd always wanted one, when I knew those things had never been discussed. He would later whine "You never like my gifts". It's all deliberate - designed to confuse you, disappoint you and it gives them the opportunity to play victim. Again.

don't raise your kids to be grateful for any shitty little crumbs thrown their way.

Absolutely excellent update! No doubt he will tell his next girlfriend victim that he had to break up with you because you were so ungrateful and grasping.

Though I guess that depends on if he’s planning on recycling the bracelet for her … in which case he might keep the incident on the lowdown!

I was not expecting that update!

Well done OP, well bloody done 👏👏👏

As he wants the bracelet back, I'd be sorely tempted to buy another the same off Ebay for £2.94 and when he asks for it, I'd say it's over there. I'm not sure which is the one that cost you a lot of money and which is the one I got from Ebay to compare it with, but no doubt you can tell which is the one you spent so much on. 😂

I didn't know about this with my ex (wasn't with him for that long and it was a few years ago).

He would book hotel breaks with me but they were for him really as he wasn't that keen on where he lived. The Christmas present was the last straw.

Wow that’s escalated quickly.

not even a single LTB and she did 😂

Wow well done. What an odd man!

I would expect a gold bracelet. I'm looking for one for my dp.

Well done! He spent not even 10 on you, what a cheap skate.

result!

So I presume you don't live together and haven't been going out very long as otherwise (a) he should know you better than that and (b) he wouldn't be so easy to get rid of. The trash has gone in the bin and I don't mean the bracelet.

As someone said, he could have bought a bunch of flowers for £3,
for £6 he could have bought a bunch of flowers and chocolate, or a bigger bunch of flowers.

Did the Ebay purchase include p+p or did he have to pay for p+p :)

This.

Except it’s never ‘kids’, it’s always daughters. Some people seem to genuinely think raising girls to be total doormats grateful for anything a man chooses to give them is good parenting. It really isn’t.

Oh what a prat! Good riddance.

Of course he wants his bracelet back Op, after all he needs to keep up the pretence it was really expensive 😂

Oh well done for realising and ending it!

Oh I do love a happy ending. Excellent decision OP. Kudos to you 😃

I might be tempted to tell him that it's been stolen and please could he give you an estimate of the value so you can make a home insurance claim and reimburse him...

He's probably posting it back to ebay as we speak so he can get a refund.

I am so glad you had the strength to end this.

Your OP was enough to make me see red flags tbh.

He lied to you about the price?? AND he insisted you wear it? Controlling and a liar. What an awful combination.

Please stop raising your daughter to put up being treated completely thoughtlessly by partners. It's so disrespectful.

Whereas I'd be disappointed in my parenting if I raised a daughter to accept disrespectful behaviour from a lying partner ("well you’ll have to wear this as it cost me a lot of money" - aye right, three quid off of Ebay you tight git).

See that bundle on the floor, @Blondebutnotlegally ? It's your self-respect.

😂😂 alongside your gross attitude.

She isn't a grown adult partner, she is a child whose dad bought her a gift. She likely isn't old enough to know how much it cost, or the effort he put in.

If I turned my nose up everytime my parents gifts to me weren't expensive enough, I'd probably grow up to be as rude and demeaning as yourself. Why lift other people up when you can insult them hey?!