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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Awful gift off DP and he’s being precious about it!

348 replies

Gertrood · 28/01/2024 19:37

My birthday yesterday. DP handed me a gift which turned out to be a hideous charm bracelet - clearly meant for children. Made from pure metal. I don’t wear jewellery at the best of times but would have worn something decent on special occasions - this however I would never wear. I’m normally a very grateful person but I half thought this was a joke until I saw how proud of himself he was so I said “it’s a lovely thought but I don’t really wear jewellery”. He said “well you’ll have to wear this as it cost me a lot of money, anyway you’ve not opened the other one yet” - so I opened the other one and it was a small bag of metal charms. Awfully childish and generic ones like a stiletto, a little metal car!? A unicorn!!!

So I said “as I said, it’s a nice thought but I won’t wear this, it’s for children” he said “it’s not for children! You dont have to wear all the charms but I do insist you wear this one that I chose especially” - it was a charm saying “true love” 🤦‍♀️ I’m getting annoyed at this point and say “you chose that one especially? So the others were just bought in bulk?” So he said “no, they were all different sets and I chose this one for you”.

I explained that charms on a bracelet are meant to at least resemble something to the owner. This stuff couldn’t be more opposite to what I’m like. I’ve never worn a stiletto in my life - I have no interest in cars - I don’t have a thing for unicorns!!??

Si anyway I said “I’m sorry if you spent a lot of money on it but I won’t wear it, it’s not me at all” I then suggested he give it to his daughter (12). He said he can’t do that as hes bought her the same one already!!

He’s in a huff about it but AIbU to think this was really bloody thoughtless? I’d have rather got nothing at all. It’s tacky as hell. The best bit, I looked at his eBay account where I guessed it was from and it cost him £2.99 - the charms were a job lot for £3 including the one he “chose especially”

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/01/2024 10:06

I feel horrible, but I'm sort of invested as to what he'll say next apart from insisting on having the bracelet back!

KreedKafer · 29/01/2024 10:06

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:02

In a rush but quick update, I’ve ended it. Best bit, he’s insisted on having the bracelet back 😂😂 gladly!

Excellent.

Did he ever actually admit/acknowledge the fact that he'd bought you a £3 bracelet off eBay and lied about it, or did he continue to maintain the fiction that he spent a lot of money on it and chose the charms specially?

horseyhorsey17 · 29/01/2024 10:07

It cost him a lot of money - £5.99?? Surely even by MN standards that isn't a lot of money!

Calliopespa · 29/01/2024 10:07

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:02

In a rush but quick update, I’ve ended it. Best bit, he’s insisted on having the bracelet back 😂😂 gladly!

Ha! Fastest movin thread award!

I wonder if he’s going to get a refund? Or save it for the next special lady in his life…

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:07

I’ll update properly later on but this was just the final straw in a long line of lying and controlling behaviour

OP posts:
PepsiMaxLime · 29/01/2024 10:09

Well done OP! You’ve gifted yourself the best birthday present!

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/01/2024 10:10

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:07

I’ll update properly later on but this was just the final straw in a long line of lying and controlling behaviour

Don't feel you have to update.

Calliopespa · 29/01/2024 10:11

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 29/01/2024 10:10

Don't feel you have to update.

But of course you can. 😌

WinkyTinky · 29/01/2024 10:11

Excellent news! Nothing to be gained from this relationship where he is clearly demonstrating that he does not know you at all. I had similar from DH - a Mickey Mouse charm bracelet, and I detest all things Disney, bloody awful tat. And a similar price to your gift. Move forward, OP. Well done.

TigerHues · 29/01/2024 10:15

One of the bizarrest “gift” threads I’ve ever read in MN. You don’t need to update OP but I’m puzzled as to what kind of man would do this? Asking for the present back, another nut job act. You sound like a “together” person too. Anyway TG you ended it.

TigerHues · 29/01/2024 10:17

Also, I hope he isn’t a total nutter and that you’re safe.

Calliopespa · 29/01/2024 10:20

I wonder if he’s going to wear it?

Nicebloomers · 29/01/2024 10:23

Well done OP! Onwards and upwards.

I bet he gives the bracelet to his next gf 🙈

Bluetrews25 · 29/01/2024 10:29

Gosh wasn't expecting you to dump him, but if this is the tip of the iceberg you've probably done the right thing!
Congratulations!

SausageRoll5862 · 29/01/2024 10:30

Dump the awful things in the bin and make him watch while you're doing it!

He sounds like an egotist to me, and a cheapskate one at that!

Don't bother giving him anything for his birthday or any other time other than a very wide space!

billybear · 29/01/2024 10:30

i cant believe this evan a bunch of 99p daffodils would of been better than this,has he form for being mean with presents,

Beautiful3 · 29/01/2024 10:31

Just seen your update. Well done. He is strange isn't he? Why make a big deal out of a metal charm bracelet that cost less than a fiver?! My 10 year old got one like the one you described from a friend, on her birthday. I certainly wouldnt want to wear it because its cheap looking and smells! Why didn't he buy you a pandora bangle with 2 charms on it? That would have been a special present. You deserve someone better, who will actually treat you on your birthday and at Christmas.

SausageRoll5862 · 29/01/2024 10:32

Good on you, Gertrood for ending it! Tell him to go back to his crayons and mummy's apron strings!

Namerequired · 29/01/2024 10:37

I hope you told him you knew what it cost. It’s bad enough that he bought it, but then lied that it cost a lot. Did he really think you would be fooled by that? And the daughter thing is just bizarre.

Peanutsforthebluetit · 29/01/2024 10:38

Well done OP, you’re well rid !

Muffintopper · 29/01/2024 10:38

Good on you for finishing the wanker 🥳

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 29/01/2024 10:39

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:02

In a rush but quick update, I’ve ended it. Best bit, he’s insisted on having the bracelet back 😂😂 gladly!

Good for you.

DuploTrain · 29/01/2024 10:40

That escalated quickly!

HippyCritical · 29/01/2024 10:40

Gertrood · 29/01/2024 10:07

I’ll update properly later on but this was just the final straw in a long line of lying and controlling behaviour

Perhaps he was setting you up to react @Gertrood .

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 29/01/2024 10:42

Some poor woman is going to hear his side of this story. "My ex was such a bitch, I bought her this really expensive, special bracelet and she told me she hated it. Woe is me."

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