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AIBU?

To not want to be sat near loud cackling women

598 replies

Ferretmad2 · 28/01/2024 13:19

What is it with groups of loud, cackling women these days? Third time I’ve eaten out recently and next to a table full of shouty, cackling women who seem to be in a contest of who can cackle the loudest. Doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a posh place or not. I’m fed up of having to be sat near them whilst waiting for my food. Can’t move as we are in a table of 7. My three autistic children are completely silent! Feel like following my eldest child’s example and getting noise cancelling AirPods.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1405 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
51%
You are NOT being unreasonable
49%
muchalover · 28/01/2024 13:21

Why does their having fun make you so angry?

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/01/2024 13:22

Are they really cackling or are you just so used to silence that you’ve become overly sensitive?

If the former, I agree it can be irritating: which is why we choose not to eat out very often.

quisensoucie · 28/01/2024 13:22

Have you been with a table of 7 each time? If not, ask to move. Or ask the waiter to have a quiet word with them
You have a mouth. Use it! Nothing MN can do, apart from question your use of cackling, which is derogatory and only ever applied to women!

CurlewKate · 28/01/2024 13:24

Better than shouty sweary drunken men.....

Mountainpika · 28/01/2024 13:25

Agree it's annoying. We were out having a pub lunch with friends recently and there was a table of 8 or 9 women. We could hardly hear ourselves speak for their noise. Much better when their food arrived and they didn't talk so much. Unfortunately they were fast eaters.
Having fun is one thing - being so noisy you spoil it for others is another.

Susan1964 · 28/01/2024 13:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Nonplusultra · 28/01/2024 13:29

Loops or similar might help to take the edge off.

Changedmymind99 · 28/01/2024 13:31

I do find this also, where groups talk so loud to be heard and dramatic laughing not heard unless in a large group.

i typically ask to be moved if I can’t hold a conversation with my friends/family.

Sirzy · 28/01/2024 13:34

People seem to forget the whole place doesn’t want to hear their conversation

Blondebutnotlegally · 28/01/2024 13:36

Stay at home. You aren't entitled to a certain level of noise you deem comfortable and acceptable.

egowise · 28/01/2024 13:39

Why is it only groups of women annoying you?

And 'cackling'?

Misogyny much!

SoDoffYourHat · 28/01/2024 13:40

Really depends on the sort of place you're going. If it's a pub, you're likely to find people who are a bit pissed and have lost the inhibition of moderating their volume.

LikeagoddamnVampire · 28/01/2024 13:42

Anyone who uses "cackling" is usually a misogynist. Can you think of an equivalent word for men? It's never used against men.

Anyone who uses it 3 times in a couple of sentences ...

BassoContinuo · 28/01/2024 13:42

CurlewKate · 28/01/2024 13:24

Better than shouty sweary drunken men.....

I’d say both are as bad as each other!

The shouty, sweary drunken men don’t seem to go to the same types of places that I like, though. So they’re easier to avoid.

Neriah · 28/01/2024 13:46

CurlewKate · 28/01/2024 13:24

Better than shouty sweary drunken men.....

I was at a restaurant - and clearly a restaurant - on Thursday evening, and a group of shouty sweary drunks were in there having ordered a plate of chips and dozens of cocktails. They were women... My friend and I ended up leaving early because of the behaviour. Men have no corner on the shouty, sweary drunk market these days.

dottiedodah · 28/01/2024 13:49

When out at a birthday meal ,the woman next to us was talking and screaming with laughter .Couldnt hear anything . Does spoil it I think ,people should enjoy themselves ,but if it interferes with others enjoyment then No

MILTOBE · 28/01/2024 13:49

muchalover · 28/01/2024 13:21

Why does their having fun make you so angry?

Oh come on!

CurlewKate · 28/01/2024 13:49

@BassoContinuo "
The shouty, sweary drunken men don’t seem to go to the same types of places that I like, though. So they’re easier to avoid."

Replace "sweary drunken" with "performatively on phone" when needed. That should cover all destinations!

Mindymomo · 28/01/2024 13:51

We sat at lunch the other day, 3 young lads about aged 25 were there for late breakfast, they were so loud, laughing and joking. As nice as it is to see laughter, there is a limit. Then they were watching things on their phones, still laughing loudly. Then they got the bill and left. Had they been there for lunch we would have asked to move. We also seem to have a local Cotes where there’s meet ups for young mums and their babies who after a while cry to an extent that we are unable to hear ourselves. I appreciate babies cry, but once they get to this stage, the mums cannot chat, so may as well call it a day and leave, that’s what I did.

Prelapsarianhag · 28/01/2024 13:52

Lots of eateries have terrible echoey acoustics these days. They seem to echo the pitch of women's voices more than men, especially laughter. A few soft furnishings would help.

ThatsMeThatIs · 28/01/2024 13:54

Laughing here at 'cackling'.

You couldn't bring yourself to type 'laughing' could you?

You had to make it sound as dreadful as possible 🤣🤣

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/01/2024 14:00

LikeagoddamnVampire · 28/01/2024 13:42

Anyone who uses "cackling" is usually a misogynist. Can you think of an equivalent word for men? It's never used against men.

Anyone who uses it 3 times in a couple of sentences ...

Yup.

mydogisthebest · 28/01/2024 14:00

egowise · 28/01/2024 13:39

Why is it only groups of women annoying you?

And 'cackling'?

Misogyny much!

But it almost always is groups of women shouting (not talking) and cackling. Loud men tend to be more in pubs but cafes and restaurants so often have groups of women so loud you can't have a conversation with the person you are with.

mydogisthebest · 28/01/2024 14:02

ThatsMeThatIs · 28/01/2024 13:54

Laughing here at 'cackling'.

You couldn't bring yourself to type 'laughing' could you?

You had to make it sound as dreadful as possible 🤣🤣

Because it is not laughing, it is cackling like a load of witches. It is dreadful. Shame people don't have more consideration for others.

Deliadidit · 28/01/2024 14:04

LikeagoddamnVampire · 28/01/2024 13:42

Anyone who uses "cackling" is usually a misogynist. Can you think of an equivalent word for men? It's never used against men.

Anyone who uses it 3 times in a couple of sentences ...

The description for that noise is cackling

‘laughing in a loud harsh way’, or
‘producing a raucous clucking sound or cry’

Which is so annoying and intrusive and nothing to do with misogyny.

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