To not want to be sat near loud cackling women

[Ferretmad2]

What is it with groups of loud, cackling women these days? Third time I’ve eaten out recently and next to a table full of shouty, cackling women who seem to be in a contest of who can cackle the loudest. Doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a posh place or not. I’m fed up of having to be sat near them whilst waiting for my food. Can’t move as we are in a table of 7. My three autistic children are completely silent! Feel like following my eldest child’s example and getting noise cancelling AirPods.

i dont know Scouse women could give them a run for their money!

My mother is one of these women. I can't stand it. I'm on the spectrum though and readily admit that other people laughing very loudly really pisses me off and gives me massive rage.

YANBU

There's a difference between people genuinely having a laugh and the kind of "PERFORMANCE!!!!!! WE ARE LOUD BUBBLY PEOPLE!!!!! AND WE ARE OUT TO HAVE FUN AND IT'S ALLLLLLLLLLLL ABOUT US AND SOD EVERYONE ELSE"
cackling and hysterics that seem to be common now.

I swear, everytime I've been out recently, whether it's the theatre, on a train at 10am or a nice sedate restaurant, it's been ruined by groups of 8-15 women aged 45-65 absolutely off their face drunk and performance cackling/showing off and screeching loudly and not giving a shit that they are ruining everyone elses night out, commute, romantic child free date etc. I've never known anything like it. And I'm nearly 40 myself before the "ageist" comments start. And yes, it is exclusively women. If they don't give a shit about ruining my downtime off work/caring then I don't give a shit about telling the truth about who it tends to be.

My neighbour laughs like Woody the Woodpecker when she's had a drink.

Large groups of adults, regardless of gender, will usually be loud in a busy restaurant, especially if they’re having a few drinks and possibly celebrating something. If you took your three kids in there, I’m guessing it wasn’t the sort of place that serves a 10-course tasting menu where people are expected to whisper sotto voce and where the music is a minimalist piano composition by Erik Satie. Some restaurants have a lively atmosphere and attract big groups for that reason.

Also, this not a women-only thing and it is absolutely misogynistic to perpetuate that stereotype. I also think some women have a hugely snobbish attitude about other women that they perceive to be ‘not like them’, especially when they’re women who are unashamedly enjoying themselves. The number of times I’ve seen women on here openly sneering at other women for having fake tan or lip fillers and being dressed up to the nines is incredibly depressing, and talking about groups of women ‘cackling’ in a restaurant is pretty much an extension of that. Same energy.

One word OP - Alcohol.

More words - in the excellent summary by @SoOutingWhoCares .

In essence, they don't care, and our society now is so fractured there is no self regulation of behaviour in public. So anything goes.

oh FFS why are people getting upset about the word “cackling”? We all know very well what kind of sound the word describes. Nobody is calling the women witches. Rude behaviour is unpleasant regardless of the sex of the people doing it. Does everything have to be reduced to finding offence at non intentional criticism of women? OP was criticising the behaviour of the women , not the fact they were women.

It's not normal to be completely silent at a restaurant. That's why other tables seem too loud to you.

There is a lot of potential between “silent” and “making it impossible for anyone outside your group to hear themselves think”, though. Most people fall somewhere between those extremes.

you sound like a barrel of laughs op

They also do guffawing.

YANBU. I hate being put at a table beside someone with a loud screechy or bellowing laugh. They might be enjoying themselves, but at the expense of other people. It's on a level with people shouting into a mobile phone in a restaurant or not taking a screaming baby outside.

Where did the OP suggest people should be completely silent?

I’m a woman, it’s just the cackling. They were with men who didn’t feel the need for competitive laughing.

Braying

I hate both of them which is why I rarely eat out nowadays.

Not really

Could be this

What? Its a social setting. Of course there will be noise

We weren’t completely silent, but it is nice to be able to hear the conversation on your own table rather than have it drowned out by the table next to you! One of my sons went to the loo and he could even hear them in there. We didn’t bother with deserts or coffees as we wanted to get away from the noise.

But that doesn’t mean they can be inconsiderate about their noise.

chatting around your table fine, talking at the top of your voice for every neighbouring table can here your whole conversation not fine. Basic manners surely?

You've given me a flashback of being out for a meal and one of the group I was with (who I've never met before) was so loud and sweary and just took over every conversation. It was mortifying. There's having fun and then there's that.

Ask to move tables next time.

Women can be misgynist too.

YANBU - I hate this as well. I'm autistic though so maybe that's why. Apparently NT people can just block out noise or it even helps them! The day I found that out was a revelation.

Of course there will be noise, but some people make excessive noise.

I agree, they should all be sitting demurely discussing sensible non-amusing topics.