To not want to be sat near loud cackling women

[Ferretmad2]

What is it with groups of loud, cackling women these days? Third time I’ve eaten out recently and next to a table full of shouty, cackling women who seem to be in a contest of who can cackle the loudest. Doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a posh place or not. I’m fed up of having to be sat near them whilst waiting for my food. Can’t move as we are in a table of 7. My three autistic children are completely silent! Feel like following my eldest child’s example and getting noise cancelling AirPods.

Would you ever think to protest against any of those words, out of interest? Because if we're starting, start there.

You’re right TheCadoganArms. And I love ‘ your quest to be offended’ 😀. I think Copen is just winding people up. She is possibly purposely being obstreperous - and cackling at the responses 🤣

You dont need to shout and cackle over a whole room full of people eating to "catch up", you could "catch up" by text nowadays, wouldnt be much attention in that though?

3 tables of 8 get up and leave that is 24 though? I would have got up to leave, refused to pay the bill, let them call the police if they want, then make numerous, not one, numerous bad reviews on any website they are on stating exactly the problem, staff can`t control loud annoying idiots and it ruins the whole vibe of the place, that should lose them a bit of custom from the quieter end of the spectrum?

You could also place a fake booking for 40 people, say there will need to be extra drink brought in because they are a thirsty lot etc. etc. then a couple of days later phone to cancel it because your "friend" told you that when she was there recently a waiter was sexually assaulted and people were talking and shouting about sex toys over the whole dining area, they might guess it is you but who cares, they will get the point. Can you imagine if a middle aged bloke talked like that in a dining venue and then grabbed a teenage waitress, I reckon the police would be called immediately nowadays, why should it be seen as "fun" and "banter" when some stupid drunk middle aged woman does it?

Problem is the businesses may not care.

I’ve never known a group (male or female) be breathtakingly loud without copious amounts of alcohol being involved - not just talking about friends sharing a bottle of wine - so they may be more profitable for the business.

@TheCadoganArms "Would you ever think to protest against any of those words, out of interest? Because if we're starting, start there."

Of course I would. But, as I said, that is not the point here.

@CrashyTime It wasn't 3 x 8. It was 6 tables of between three and eight diners. Well, taking my table for example, 4 of us weren't drinking alcohol (1 for religious reasons, 1 was pregnant, 2 were breast feeding), the table on one side was two parents, a toddler and a infant school aged child, table on the other side was an elderly person's birthday with their spouse, adult kids and teenage grandkids, other diners similarly sedate.

These women had at least a dozen bottles of wine/prosecco/champagne and were ordering cocktails too. We had non alcoholic cocktails but it doesn't compare. And that's before 5 food courses.

Tell me you aren't being serious. A text message sure gives the same level of entertainment, affection, comfort, social satisfaction as meeting up in person with your friends. Not quite the same IMO, but each to their own.

I can’t get on board with that either

Fair enough, but the business WOULD care if a female server had her bum grabbed by a male pisshead and the waitress reported it and said it was because the management were putting profits on booze before serving staff safety , or look at it another way, someone tells their church/religious group members not to go there, someone else tells everyone in their mother and baby group not to go there, the parents tell everyone at their child`s school not to go there for a family meal (not unless you like watching drunks groping waiters and bantering about dildos) and the elderly couple tell all their pals not to bothering going for a family get together with teenagers because there was loud annoying and embarrassing banter going on all the time, that could be a LOT of lost business for letting some loud drunken idiot run the restaurant?

If the type of people we are discussing were genuinely engrossed in their friends they wouldn`t have one eye on the room clocking how much attention they are getting from strangers to validate themselves according to some weird social media type number of hits thing or whatever it is going on nowadays?

@CrashyTime

I'm not arguing with you. And I said in my post that's pretty much exactly what the waiter said to do...vote with our feet and leave a bad review.

None of us have been back and we went quite often.

Sad that he has to put up with that crap to make a buck.

And as I have mentioned before, you can't be the judge of whether that is what strangers are doing or whether they are just a loud group in general. My group are a boisterous loud bunch of women, but we most definitely aren't looking for attention.

And this is where restaurants should be managing table allocations better. Completely unfair to put a loud, boisterous group next to a couple or family trying to have a quiet meal out. Neither are being unreasonable, but the loud group always takes over at the expense of the quieter ones.

You would go to all that trouble, risk the police being called because you refused to pay for your food, type multiple bad reviews, make bookings and then cancel them (losing any deposit a table for 40 would often require)...just to further some personal crusade to make sure a woman behaving badly is treated as harshly as you imagine a man would be? Do you not think that may be crossing the line between agenda and obsession?

Who should have to sit next to them though?

Other loud groups? Their own section?

I think the best thing would be if they could hire out a private room or mezzanine level or something, especially if it's a large same sex group. Picking another noisy group might rely on guesswork.

I have only had the pleasure of eating in one michelin starred restaurant, and when booking the restaurant made it clear that they expected the diners to behave with decorum (I can't think of a better way of putting it just now). They didn't accept small children and would probably have asked the diners to leave.

So, I'm struggling to get my head around that there was a table of such badly behaved diners in such an expensive establishment.

You have to pay in advance when booking at where we ate so they wouldn't have been out of pocket if something like this had happened.

@RampantIvy I eat at M star restaurants quite regularly and never seen rude noisy behaviour. Not once. I cannot think of one restaurant that would not have said anything because they want the majority of guests to be happy. A convivial chatter is what’s best.

I have eaten in places where the din of shouting and loud laughing makes general chat impossible. We have a friend who struggles to hear and there’s no way he can hear anything with such a high level of background noise. I think very expensive restaurants where the evening is about the food isn’t the right place for a noisy meet up. Bars and other types of restaurants are better venues for that.

Actually I’ve just remembered. We went to a very good restaurant with a chefs table and tasting menu last summer. I was quite excited to go as we had heard good reports. Chef encouraged diners to shout “oui chef” all the time and the wine flight diners got more and more drunk. One asked our neighbouring diners why he and his wife were there. They replied it was for their 35th wedding anniversary. “Oh dear”, said the diner asking the question, “I hope I’m not as bald as you after 35 years!”. Our neighbour didn’t stay for coffee and neither did we. It was my birthday so definitely wasn’t spilling those beans. And yes, three couples were noisy and no one knew each other before we started. They sat separately in the bar beforehand. Not going back - shame as the food was good but in the end I wanted to shout “F off chef!”

@BassoContinuo I don't think that is possible really. The restaurant can't know if a large group will be quiet or a small group will be loud. They also can't know what the acceptable noise tolerance level is of sensitive individuals. Whilst my friends are a loud bunch we have NEVER been asked to tone it down by staff so I can only assume anyone who might have a problem with our racket are the ones with the problem.

I have eaten in places where the din of shouting and loud laughing makes general chat impossible. We have a friend who struggles to hear and there’s no way he can hear anything with such a high level of background noise.

That's why I struggle with noisy environments. I might as well be on my own as I can't hear what is being said or join in with the chat. I like to relax while eating and I can't relax when it is noisy.

We went out for a mother's day lunch a couple of years ago and could only hear those next to us (we were a group of 9 as we were taking out my elderly grandmother for her first lunch out since covid) because of how noisy it was. No inconsiderate shrieking or shouting, just general talking and happy laughing noise. They had just crammed far too many people in. We decided against it again, just wasn't worth it.

Loud, shouty women are just common as muck…