.... to dislike fashion and 'femininity'?

[AnnaSewell]

This is prompted by having to buy a new sweater.

I dislike shopping for clothes, because I like plain comfortable clothing in dark/subdued/neutral colours. These things are not easy to find and the search for them is troublesome.

I like natural fibres and garments that have pockets. I dislike most floral designs and patterns, as well as fussy ornamentation. I don't like low necks or high hemlines.

I do not wish to be 'pretty'. I don't want to wear shoes that hurt my feet, in which it would be hard to walk or run.

I dislike wearing make-up and the thought of having to blow-dry/style my hair/have it cut regularly depresses me beyond measure. I change clothes, and bathe regularly. My morning routine consists of combing my hair and cleaning my teeth.

I don't remove body hair about from using tweezers if a single hair has appeared on my neck or chin.

I have a range of acceptable clothes for work and also some items that will do well enough for more formal occasions - weddings, funerals, celebrations.

There is a sort of pleasure in finding the right garments, but then I am happy to wear these same things again and again. (It is horrible when these items wear out, because it is hard to find exact replacements.)

Hours of time and a great deal of money is saved, this way. So I am pretty comfortable with these choices.

Does anyone out there make similar choices?

Absolutely. I cut my own hair and do not care one bit about styling it. Shop in charity shops for everything but I do buy my children new clothes.

Oh, I see. You are "Not Like Other Girls".

You don’t clean your face on a morning?

I think it’s absolutely fine not to be traditionally feminine but I think the fact that just thinking of having your hair trimmed makes you “depressed beyond measure” is not normal or healthy, and something you should explore.

I just buy men’s jumpers if I like them. I don’t pay any attention to whether something is male or female. If I like it I’ll get it.

You could buy the same thing twice if it works for you so much. I do that with jeans so I get twice the wear. I do like fashion and being groomed though. I don't think our definitions of femininity are the same.

100%

I like dark clothes and am fussy about fabrics, I don’t particularly find it that difficult to find things online though.

I also hate washing my hair just because I find it a faff to dry it and make it look decent but I do it for hygiene every 2 days. I think most of your list is quite common to feel even for women who do enjoy some of those things. Not everyone enjoys every aspect of shopping/grooming.

I’m really envious of you.

I’m not particularly high-maintenance (can’t stand having my nails done or waxing) and would never have ‘tweakments’ such as Botox, but I do wear makeup every day and have highlights at the hairdresser. I get my clothes from Vinted and my figure is better suited to short skirts/clingy fabrics than long and baggy (I’m 5’3” and fairly slim).

I think my choices are a ‘mask’ in many ways (I camouflage socially as well) because I worry what others think. It provides me with reassurance that I look reasonably fashionable and put-together.

Your choice your life but imo time and place for everything
EG, you would not turn up at a wedding in you nightwear.

With me, I often dress-down at certain events, eg parties, meetings, weddings etc because other people I know/worked with are so jealous but at times when I'm feeling very strong, I dress to impress and it works

Do you think a handsome millionaire with a mean and feminine fiancée is about to come sweep OP off her feet because she’s ‘not like other girls’ - she will have a makeover (in which she has a haircut and takes her specs off) and will try and impress him by attending an event in high heels looking feminine but it will all go wrong when her heels snap and her outfit is mismatched, and everyone will point and laugh…except for handsome millionaire who will tell her he doesn’t care what she wears he loves her for her? And will dump the mean fiancée.

Or do I watch to many hallmark movies?

Yanbu
Do what suits you

But it's not wrong to like fashion or having fun with clothes and accessories either (I don't really follow fashion but love beautiful jewellery/clothes) (I'm also fiercely academic, love adventure sports and have a high powered job)

HA!

op do what you want honestly you don't have to do anything I'm interested why you are bothered by a chin hair though?

Do whatever you want. Women don't have to love clothes and shopping and make up.

Do what you want. How could that be unreasonable? Other people will make different choices, but luckily we're all pretty free to dress and groom however we please.

YANBU, but I'm not sure what your point is.

OP can I ask what you’re looking for from this thread? Because you must know you’re not the only woman in the world who chooses not to be ‘feminine’. I’d actually say feminine women now are few and far between.
Do you want validation that you’re superior to those who are feminine? Do you want to be more feminine but don’t know where to start? What are you looking to gain from this thread?

Please do start washing your face though it’s basic hygiene.

You seen to almost look down on women who like to make an effort. I would feel horrific presenting myself as you do but each to their own.

I dislike shopping for clothes, because I like plain comfortable clothing in dark/subdued/neutral colours. These things are not easy to find and the search for them is troublesome.

What are you on about? Seriously.

I change clothes, and bathe regularly. My morning routine consists of combing my hair and cleaning my teeth. … Does anyone out there make similar choices?

Never before - but you have shown me the way!

I don't really care about clothes or hair or makeup or skincare or whatever. It's not "self care" for me and I don't feel better if I "make and effort".

Some people do though and that's great. We all have different hobbies.

When you find something that's good, buy multiples.
I live in one colour- but I like textures and am not averse different shapes or a frill etc so long as it's all in the plain colour. I live in trainers and always avoid dressed up occasions (weddings or nights out) where possible.
I'm not a fan of make up but wear a bit as I get older.
I'm not girly or feminine at all. I live in a house of men but I'm not manly either... I've got long hair - and quite enjoy having it cut- the pleasure of someone else washing and drying it for you is lovely.
Can you still be a 'tomboy' in your late 50s????

I think you’re exaggerating not being able to find neural or black clothes. My whole wardrobe is neutral or black, it’s not hard. I get the feeling you say it is to be like ohhh I’m not like everyone else

I'm a bit surprised you are asking this- of course there are women who don't like to do those things and don't- I don't believe for one second that every single woman you encounter has on makeup and freshly blow dried hair.

I see all kinds of women out and about- some do those things, some don't. We are all different and thats a good thing. Do you really think that noone else out there is like you? If so, you must lead a very sheltered life (or work on a cosmetics counter)

Good for you I guess.

Why you need validation from Mumsnet though? 😂

I don’t see why it would be an issue. Live the life you like. Just like women who prefer more feminine clothing/beauty treatments should too. There’s no right or wrong way.

😂