.... to dislike fashion and 'femininity'?

[AnnaSewell]

This is prompted by having to buy a new sweater.

I dislike shopping for clothes, because I like plain comfortable clothing in dark/subdued/neutral colours. These things are not easy to find and the search for them is troublesome.

I like natural fibres and garments that have pockets. I dislike most floral designs and patterns, as well as fussy ornamentation. I don't like low necks or high hemlines.

I do not wish to be 'pretty'. I don't want to wear shoes that hurt my feet, in which it would be hard to walk or run.

I dislike wearing make-up and the thought of having to blow-dry/style my hair/have it cut regularly depresses me beyond measure. I change clothes, and bathe regularly. My morning routine consists of combing my hair and cleaning my teeth.

I don't remove body hair about from using tweezers if a single hair has appeared on my neck or chin.

I have a range of acceptable clothes for work and also some items that will do well enough for more formal occasions - weddings, funerals, celebrations.

There is a sort of pleasure in finding the right garments, but then I am happy to wear these same things again and again. (It is horrible when these items wear out, because it is hard to find exact replacements.)

Hours of time and a great deal of money is saved, this way. So I am pretty comfortable with these choices.

Does anyone out there make similar choices?

Supermarkets sell these type of clothes tho I'll admit that pockets continue to be a problem. I've not noticed an abundance of floral/lacey/girlie styles.
Alternatively go online. If your prepared to wait and take a risk try Shein/Temu. Then there's Amazon. M&S and Next generally have neutral/bland basics too. Shoes I'd try somewhere like 50plus

I get the dark colours thing and having a more masculine style that suits you. But applying make-up every morning transforms me. Maybe you are fortunate and have great skin, but foundation, bit of blusher, lip stick and mascara means I go from looking like death to looking quite nice, and I think most women are similar.

Aah, the old frumpy v feminine argument.

I don't do anything where I could be accused of trying to look attractive.

Intriguing. Or worrying.

Hope you’re ok, @Sudsywaters ?

I don't like fashion in the sense that I dislike trends! So, I read time and time again that skinny jeans are out so what shall I wear..... erm your skinny jeans if you like them.

I have a million pairs of diesel skinny jeans and 9 million skin tight fred Perry polo shirts which I will wear tucked in with converse. I don't like 'feminine' clothes either.

I do place emphasis on makeup because I love the look of it and I wear my hair with a very blunt, long fringe and I colour it every 4 weeks because I am incredibly grey.

So, no I pay no heed to trends but I do like 'my' fashion. You have your own 'fashion' - you've literally described it in your post! We all have our own fashion - whether that's our own style or the women who follow trends (of which I have no issue with!)

Eh? What are people so jealous of?

It really is! Am I still asleep and I’ll wake up and tell DP “I had a weird dream about a MN thread last night”.

Picturing the OP with arms splayed out, palms on display in a shopping centre saying “There just isn’t ANYTHING for girls that aren’t like others girls” whilst every other woman age 16-40 (in this imaginary situation women who turn 41 just disappear into thin air) walk around looking like the Plastics from Mean Girls, flicking their hair and pouting their lips

I like plain comfortable clothing in dark/subdued/neutral colours. These things are not easy to find and the search for them is troublesome

They’re not difficult to find in the slightest. You can buy plain t-shirts, jumpers, trousers in dark or neutral colours etc from countless retailers.

Dress how you want and feel free to buzz cut your hair with clippers or cut it with kitchen scissors if that’s what makes you happy.

But why are you making an issue of it? Just get on with it. You don’t get a medal for wearing what you like and it doesn’t make you any more special or individual than anyone else.

I expect they’re envious of the way the poster can squeeze her ego through a normal-sized doorframe.

Accused of trying to look attractive? Strange take. For many of us dressing (what we regard as) nicely and a little makeup etc. is not about trying to be attractive. I've been happily married forever so don't care about that. It's more about presenting our best selves, feeling comfortable in how we look, and feeling more confident by looking our best.
We do it for ourselves.

Indeed.

If you're not dressed in sack cloth and ashes, you are basically a harlot and committing a crime against the sisterhood 🙄

OP 'think I'll start a thread about how dowdy I am' other posters 'I'm dowdier than you'

How depressing.

There's a lot of bonkersness on this thread. Mind you I could say that about most threads here.

Your choice to wear dark subdued clothing and natural fibres is a fashion choice.
No makeup, comfortable shoes, again these are fashion choices.
Unless you hate how you look in these things, you are dressing in a way that makes you comfortable and in a way you prefer the world to see you.
These are all fashion choices.

I get so depressed when so called feminine interests are seen as frivolous and a waste of money.

Fashion is an industry that has had an important part in history. The evolution of women wearing pants is in itself a remarkable moment.

Fashion designers are artists just as cultured and important as art in museums, many in fact which now include fashion.

I saw Alexander McQueen's exhibit in New York and it was moving, and told gorgeous and grotesque stories from history.

It's fine to like what you like, but don't kid yourself that you have stepped outside the industry. We all choose things we like that we feel represent us. You are no different.

But don't people laugh at you if you try to look nice? If you are not naturally amazing looking?

I used to actually like clothes back in the 1980s but I don't see clothes i like these days

@Sudsywaters

I present to you https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/25296662/fashion-fans-primark-80s-fashion-throwback-divided/amp/

That shell suit 😍

No!
99% of people are not naturally amazing. Everyone can look nice though, and look their best.

I think the shops have been full of plain neutrals for ages.
I like to mix it up, I’m either dressed like one of those old toilet roll covers or a burglar all in black.

No. Never.

And they’re not laughing at you either. In fact no one really cares what you, or anyone else, wear.

The real world is not an American teen movie about nasty girls.

Are you scared of looking nice in case you’re laughed at?!

What are ‘non-feminine’ clothes?

You can walk into huge chains like M&S or Primark right now and buy a pile of loose fitting women’s jeans, joggers, combat trousers, smart work trousers, plain t-shirts, jumpers, sweatshirts, shirts etc.

Are you scared that you’ll catch femininity if you have to walk past a dress on your way to the trousers, or something?

I am similar to you, for me, it’s partly autistic traits that make me very fussy about fabrics, colours, lengths. I struggled for years finding anything suitable and the whole process was disheartening and self esteem lowering for me. I believed my shape and figure didn’t suit these clothes and wasn’t dainty and feminine enough. I was depressed about it for years.

I finally decided to put some more effort in and work through the discomfort and try stuff on at all the Hugh street shops and beyond, I figured my searches would have to bear fruit sooner or later, and they did.

The added bonus and tip I would give is that this helped me discover which stores make stuff for me routinely. Now I’ve got to the point I can pretty accurately guess how something will fit me from such stores and order online, a little burst of efforts on the weekends has now meant I don’t have to worry about this stuff anymore.

Most incredibly, I do now love shopping for new clothes because I can anticipate that I will be comfortable in them and look good, too, that’s a brilliant feeling, you might like it if you get a taste of it, it can make you feel like a new person.

I won’t imagine how you came to feel this way, but mine was partly related to abuse and not feeling comfortable in my body, a talk therapy might help you to uncover some of these feelings that you may not even be aware of on a conscious level.

It’s okay to be a tomboy, it’s okay to be a big androgynous, it’s okay to be who you are, accept and love yourself. And it’s certainly okay to feel beautiful and clean.

Morning showers will wake you up and make you feel good and we do sometimes sweat in the night even if we are not aware of it. You want to smell good and we cannot always smell ourselves.
Please moisturise your face and hands with something simple as you will get very dry in the cold and you want to keep your skin supple and free of unnecessary wrinkles. It is just being kind to yourself, not a beauty regimen as such.

I wish you all the very best in your journey of discovery of yourself, our potential and capabilities are extraordinary if we explore them.
All these

What planet are you living on, because it’s certainly not the same one as the rest of us

I think you sound closer to the average woman than people who dress up and do make up every day

There is a sort of pleasure in finding the right garments, but then I am happy to wear these same things again and again. (It is horrible when these items wear out, because it is hard to find exact replacements.)

When I find something I like, I go back to the shop and buy several. I actually wore pretty much the same outfit for work every day for a long time. The items I chose were standard enough that I found I could order replacements online and so I’ve done that for the past couple of years.

I’ve now moved country and so I’m having to start again as the same shops are not available in my new country. Currently I have a very distinctive knitted jacket I wear everywhere and will be devastated when it eventually becomes unwearable. I wish I’d thought to buy more when I found it.

I do like a good haircut though and as soon as my finances are stable, I will be finding the best hairdresser I can and will pay through the nose for a really good haircut.

Here you go, @AnnaSewell

search

I'm surprised you find these clothes hard to find.