.... to dislike fashion and 'femininity'?

[AnnaSewell]

This is prompted by having to buy a new sweater.

I dislike shopping for clothes, because I like plain comfortable clothing in dark/subdued/neutral colours. These things are not easy to find and the search for them is troublesome.

I like natural fibres and garments that have pockets. I dislike most floral designs and patterns, as well as fussy ornamentation. I don't like low necks or high hemlines.

I do not wish to be 'pretty'. I don't want to wear shoes that hurt my feet, in which it would be hard to walk or run.

I dislike wearing make-up and the thought of having to blow-dry/style my hair/have it cut regularly depresses me beyond measure. I change clothes, and bathe regularly. My morning routine consists of combing my hair and cleaning my teeth.

I don't remove body hair about from using tweezers if a single hair has appeared on my neck or chin.

I have a range of acceptable clothes for work and also some items that will do well enough for more formal occasions - weddings, funerals, celebrations.

There is a sort of pleasure in finding the right garments, but then I am happy to wear these same things again and again. (It is horrible when these items wear out, because it is hard to find exact replacements.)

Hours of time and a great deal of money is saved, this way. So I am pretty comfortable with these choices.

Does anyone out there make similar choices?

I have obviously had a different experience from many of you.

😂😂😂

@Sudsywaters have you actually had lots of people openly laugh at you specifically because you wore nice clothes or tried to look nice? Do you really think this is the average experience of women?

Have you actually been shopping in the last few years? Trying to find a lined tailored skirt is impossible on the high street, all shirts, t shirts are non tailored to a woman’s shape and just look like square bits of material sewn together. The high street is full of plain, shapeless neutral coloured baggy clothes, in every shop you will find this aesthetic absolutely no problem.

Quite.

OP lots of women aren’t into fashion and don’t wear make up or do anything with their hair.

lots of women like plain clothes but are into Fashion, see dark academia and gentlewoman for details. Some of these women do do stuff with their hair and make up, some don’t.

It’s far far more usual than not to wear flats /comfortable shoes these days.

There is nothing unusual about you, and if you think there is you really must be living under a rock.

Indeed.
I think most of my tops are old navy as they do tons of neutral block items. I generally buy 2-3 in different colours of various styles.

I dislike shopping for clothes, because I like plain comfortable clothing in dark/subdued/neutral colours. These things are not easy to find and the search for them is troublesome.

Tbh I think you're making a bit of a fuss. They're not that hard to find.

I agree. I don't care what anyone chooses to wear or how they style themselves (or don't at all)- thats completely up to them.

But this tired old trope that there are only two kinds of women- those who are somehow "above" other women by wearing a black shapeless sack (made of vegan hemp obv) and having hairy armpits vs women plucked to within an inch of their lives who totter around on heels and resemble Bet Lynch is wholly reductive and pathetic.

This a totally normal way to feel. I do, and so do most of the other females I know. In terms of finding clothing that works for me, go to the men's section of a shop that is younger than your age bracket. The curt and colours will usually be closer to what you want. So I'm nearly 40, I find items in mens sections of places like zara or H&M. Neutral tones, pockets etc but because they come in slimmer fits, they don't looks silly.

Not people bursting out laughing when I am walking down the street but parents, schoolfriends, boyfriend, husband, neighbour.

Good for you if that's what you want but I fail to see the difficulty in buying comfortable, neutral coloured clothing, it's everywhere.

I hope so, perhaps when the OP comes back she can fill us in

What your actual husband has openly and genuinely laughed at you because you tried to look nice? And everyone it seems in your life does the same? And you think other women experience the same?

Time to ditch the husband and mates.

Husband got there first and ditched me.

Lucky escape if he was laughing at you.
How often does this happen to you? What kind of clothes do you wear?

Beaten me to it!

Is this a wind up or are you serious.

If you are serious you need to get shot of these people from your life.

You know it isn’t normal

Well that sounds like a positive

🙄

Well, no, he really has had the last laugh.

Jeans and shirt or jeans and a jumper in winter. Nothing that I would think of as being unusual.

I feel largely similar to you, although I don’t mind some florals and wear the odd jersey dress with leggings. I mostly like plain and simple though, I buy a lot of clothes from the men’s section or from unisex online brands. I don’t really find it a problem to buy comfy clothes for everyday wear but I do find it hard to buy clothes for occasions as I don’t like dressing up much but also don’t like to look out of place. I cut my own hair as hate hairdressers or anywhere similar, I feel so ugly and clueless about style and beauty I don’t like to put myself in front of hair and beauty professionals to be judged.

You don’t really think other women get laughed at for wearing jeans and a jumper do you? And you must realise you were married to a shit rather than this being the norm?

What happened when your neighbour openly laughed at you wearing jeans and a jumper?

Do what you want. I'm not sure what your AIBU is though?

Oh, cobblers.

I can’t relate, I’ve always loved fashion and having nails done, beauty stuff etc :) I feel like if you don’t that’s fair, you probably get that sense of satisfaction and creativity from other stuff?