.... to dislike fashion and 'femininity'?

[AnnaSewell]

This is prompted by having to buy a new sweater.

I dislike shopping for clothes, because I like plain comfortable clothing in dark/subdued/neutral colours. These things are not easy to find and the search for them is troublesome.

I like natural fibres and garments that have pockets. I dislike most floral designs and patterns, as well as fussy ornamentation. I don't like low necks or high hemlines.

I do not wish to be 'pretty'. I don't want to wear shoes that hurt my feet, in which it would be hard to walk or run.

I dislike wearing make-up and the thought of having to blow-dry/style my hair/have it cut regularly depresses me beyond measure. I change clothes, and bathe regularly. My morning routine consists of combing my hair and cleaning my teeth.

I don't remove body hair about from using tweezers if a single hair has appeared on my neck or chin.

I have a range of acceptable clothes for work and also some items that will do well enough for more formal occasions - weddings, funerals, celebrations.

There is a sort of pleasure in finding the right garments, but then I am happy to wear these same things again and again. (It is horrible when these items wear out, because it is hard to find exact replacements.)

Hours of time and a great deal of money is saved, this way. So I am pretty comfortable with these choices.

Does anyone out there make similar choices?

This. OP be who you want to be and enjoy life!

ok, so what style/taste do the 'majority of women' have then?

What makes you think I was saying that the majority of women have the same style? There are lots of different styles which are not like the OP's. If I take my workplace as an example, I have one colleague who dresses very much as the OP describes her style. My other female colleagues have a variety of styles, but the majority of them wear make-up and none of them apart from that one colleague only wears plain, dark or neutral colours.

What? Those are probably the most widely available clothing there is. It wouldn’t be so widely available if there wasn’t a huge market for it.

You don't know how specific the OP's requirements are, nor her size, nor her budget.

She finds it hard to buy plain, neutral clothes in natural fibres and in styles she really likes**

Really- you think plain black, navy, or grey cotton tops/t shirts are niche and hard to find?

They are absolutely not. They are everywhere. I was literally just in M&S and everything was black, beige, white, grey and dark blue. There were racks and racks of them- trousers too. I noticed them because I read this thread before going in there so it caught my eye. I did not see any bright or "ornate" tops at all.

Yes, and loads of other women too.

"Not like other girls" is tedious. Most women aren't 100% feminine.

You do you OP. I think a lot of women are like this, especially if they don’t work in an industry or environment that is particularly image conscious. Washing your face is a must though. Fashion, I’m not too bothered about because my body shape usually restricts me to classic styles that I know work. Skincare and beauty, I love it all and would happily spend hours per month in salons if I didn’t have to pick and choose.

Your statement
"OP has different style/taste from the majority of women'" only makes sense if there is a 'majority style' from which OP differs.
If there isn't. OP cannot differ from this non-existent majority.
If there are a multitude of styles, among which one is OP's. Well yes, she is different.. but so is everyone else... thus the 'difference' is meaningless.

I don't know where you work but most women around me wear plain styles , many also don't wear make-up. As several PP have pointed out, the shops are full of plain, dark colours. They're a safe, classic choice. Always suggested as wardrobe staples, unlike floral /bold patterns, which, it's accepted, are not for everyone.

But everyone can always wear a plain dark blouse/dress! No issues there. That's why it's not particularly niche.

No? My friends and I would say to each other 'you are looking nice today'.

Honestly - why are so many people on this thread being so horrible and snippy both to each other and to the OP?

And all the people advising OP about the importance of washing herself - she has stated quite clearly that she changes her clothes and bathes regularly .

I guess it's a typical AIBU response - because there have been several threads within the S&B section where posters have bemoaned the lack of choice in clothing in natural fibres.

Honestly @Sudsywaters it sounds as if you will be better off without these people in your life . They sound really horrible .

You were quoting your experience as representative of women. ‘It is unusual for women to not wear make up’. That’s not your experience. It’s a statement of fact about women.

I can see it’s not unusual for women to not wear make up because I surrounded by them. At work, at home, my daughter and her friends. My aunts. My cousins.

most women know, loads of women that don’t make an effort all the time. As you are seeing on this thread.

and I am absolutely correct. On MN Women are not told to get their hair and nails done, with no other advice when it’s not related to them feeling a bit shit about how they look. Certainly lot in massive amounts. Self care isnt positioned as just ‘get your nails and hair done’ You are leaving out the context of why that advice is given often.

I think a big part of the OP that people are missing is where she says she is looking for natural fibres. So much clothing is made out of acrylic, viscose and polyester. And yes of course it's possible to find neutral clothing in cotton, wool etc - but for someone who isn't really interested in clothing or their appearance it must be a bit of a bind having to check the labels on everything .

You're not being unreasonable but I love beauty treatments and long hair and dresses and cosmetic treatments 😊I live in sweats if I'm not in a dress though, and my morning routine is like yours but with a few creams added in. I don't wear makeup often because I get my eyebrows and lashes tinted and filler makes your lips look a bit more pink and I get unwanted hair lasered. With you on the shoes though, I can't stand uncomfortable shoes and I'm normally in merells or walking boots even with dresses.

YANBU at all OP. Sounds a very practical and authentic way to approach your appearance.

However there is the whiff of So fuck off, all you shallow bitches! about your post.

I don't understand these posts, I've known women all my life who are like this and just don't think about it. It's a newish thing to think all women must wear makeup etc otherwise they're not women.

There is a certain very regressive movement obsessed with gender that would throw women back to the 1950s if it could. We are certainly moving backwards on this especially with the revolting 'drag queen' look that some women think that they need to copy.

‘No. As you must know from your daily life, you are the ONLY woman who makes those choices. Every single other one of the 3 billion women on the planet are strutting around like Barbie in heels, full make up, short dresses and blow dry's, every single day’

And lots of assigned male at birth, too. In fact,,probably more than the assigned female at birth…..

Your statement "OP has different style/taste from the majority of women'" only makes sense if there is a 'majority style' from which OP differs. If there isn't. OP cannot differ from this non-existent majority.

I disagree. If you asked a survey question saying 'Do you prefer to always wear dark / neutral colours' and, say, 10% of women said yes and the rest said no, the women who said yes would be in the minority and the women who said no would be in the majority, regardless of how many different styles were worn among that majority.

I would call being very particular being very interested

No! Am the exact opposite! Each to their own but the thought of doing things your way would make me very unhappy and I’d look very old!

@OneTC
would call being very particular being very interested

not necessarily- a preference for natural fabrics is mainly to do with how the fabrics feel rather than how they look - a lot of posters on the S&B threads complain of synthetic fibres making them sweat .

And lots of assigned male at birth, too. In fact,,probably more than the assigned female at birth…..

Sex is not 'assigned at birth'.... but I think that you know this?

Quote ..I dislike shopping for clothes, because I like plain comfortable clothing in dark/subdued/neutral colours. These things are not easy to find and the search for them is troublesome. … end quote

Surely your criteria makes shopping very easy. Toast does plain comfortable clothes in dark colours. Uniqlo do plain jumpers in a range of colours and you’ll always find they do navy/black/grey and green/burgundy in winter. Cos definitely will have your natural colours. Shoe shops - go straight to Gabor or Sketchers.

Your way of dressing wouldn’t be for me but I can see it would feee up a lot of time from a shopping, maintenance and getting ready for the day aspect.

um....surely in order to feel the need to ask if others share your opinion or way of doing things that implies your opinion or way of doing things is sufficiently rare or unusual to require posing the question?

I don't see many people asking 'hey do any of you try and sleep at night time? Just something I've always done but wondering if it's weird?' Because it's blindingly obvious!

Her 'personal taste' isn't unusual enough to warrant asking the question, in fact it's ridiculously common. She wasn't even asking something comparatively rare like 'does anyone else completely shave their hair because they can't be bothered to wash it at all?' but was asking about wearing comfortable clothes and shoes, wearing the same clothes repeatedly, and not having regular haircuts, none of which is in the slightest bit unusual.

I am honestly unsure how anyone with functioning eyesight and a brain who has left their house at any point in the last decade thinks they need to ask if wearing comfortable clothes/in dark/neutral colours is in the slightest bit unusual.

@OneTC

I would call being very particular being very interested

Exactly. It’s pretty specious on the one hand to come across as very Spartan and untroubled by trends and on the other to be quite precious about natural fibres etc. It comes across that there’s a fair bit of stealth snobbery about it.

I’m far too intelligent to be swayed by short term fashion but I insist on only having very expensive clothes which are “natural”. Etc.

Theres nothing at all wrong with wanting to wear natural fibres btw but it is an aesthetic choice as much as an ethical/comfort choice.

You can’t have it both ways. Either you care about clothes or you don’t but if you care you have no inherent superiority to others who care but have a more downmarket aesthetic.

There is a lot of literal thinking here, I don’t think the OP is just talking about natural materials and colours, it’s about their shape and how they fit… for someone very exacting, this can be a huge issue, and it can take a very long time indeed to find something.

It’s a well known fact that the women’s section of the high street is very often lower quality, cheaper materials, less detail in stitching. Apparently because women are more interested in fast fashion and the clothes are not worn until they fall apart.

The OP struck me less as arrogant and more defeated, a bit clueless.

The comments have been a bit harsh.