To want to give this prize back after 6 months.

[Thecurtainsdontmeet]

we won 4 VIP tickets to a sporting event, at a school raffle, date to be mutually agreed. Whilst the donor was named on the prize details, we didn’t know who they were other than a school parent. Turns out they are very influential at school. They were pointed out to me at at school event so I introduced myself, thanked them for the prize and we had a long chat during which he said that the prize was only nominally for 4 tickets, but we could bring more people if we wanted. There is no additional cost to him. He also offered to us VIP tickets to watch the premier league football team my son supports and to which he has links. I was to email him after the holidays. I duly emailed with our availability and got no response. After 6 weeks I messaged his wife (who I also didn’t know)to check he’d got the email. 3 weeks later he emailed pointing out that our date of preference was a school event, which I’d overlooked. I immediately replied with alternative dates. Heard nothing for 3 months whereupon he emailed 3 days before one of the dates I’d given (the other 2 dates had passed) saying we could go in 3 days. having not heard from him I hadn’t kept the date free. I emailed back and said we couldn’t go and provided alternative dates. A date was confirmed and he asked how many tickets we wanted, so I replied that we’d like 8, 4 adults and 4 children. He has just replied that normally he only gives 4, ‘but on this occasion’.

Im really embarrassed and feel like a scolded teenager. I would never have asked for 8 tickets if he hadn’t offered. I’m actually not sure I want to go at all now. I’ve had to chase this man from the outset to get the tickets he donated to a raffle and now he’s told me off for asking for additional tickets that he offered. It just feel like he’s lording over the peasants.
Would you
A) still take the 8 tickets and go(he will be there)
B) email back “Hi x , I’m quite embarrassed. I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke. 4 is fine thank you”
C) email back “Hi x, I’m quite embarrassed. I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke. This all feels a bit uncomfortable now, so we are going to politely decline the tickets. I hope you enjoy the event”.
For context non VIP tickets to watch this event aren’t like gold dust and don’t cost the earth; we usually go as a family a couple of times a year anyway.

URBU- just take the 8 tickets and go
URNBU- politely give the tickets back.

Take the tickets and go
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

I perhaps wouldn't go (Option C). Really hate feeling beholden to someone.

Option D. Go. Thank him on the day and remind him that he did offer the extra tickets.

I'd go with B.

B - he's probably forgotten

He seems a bit disorganised. But I also wouldn't have asked for double the initial amount - I'd imagine it was more of an offer for extra tickets if you're a family of 5 rather than 4, for example. Not bring 4 extra people.

I'd go for option C

This.

Option B bit I'd say I'm extremely embarrassed. He offered and is now making you feel bad. I'd resent that

Oh just go. He can clearly afford it whatever it is. And he's the type of person that belittles everyone so don't take it personally. Rise above his behaviour.

Go and enjoy the day and if there's an option to buy drinks or something whilst you're there then do that )though he'll probably scoff at whether you buy anyway!)

A or B, not C. You shouldn't feel beholden to him. He donated the tickets to the school, not to you directly.

YABU. Just go.

Considering it had been months he probably just forgot he offered extra tickets.

I agree. Asking for double the tickets is cheeky.

I would take that as one of the kids might want to bring a friend or he want sure how many kids you had.

The shit communication is a separate issue and would piss me off.

This

He’s probably forgotten he offered the extra tickets, it I agree with the above. He probably offered more in case you were say a family of 5 and needed the extra one, not to double the amount so you could invite extra people.
I would go with option B x

A)

Just go ffs!

B. I mean. He didn't directly say it, but IMO he sort of meant extra for you own family. e.g. if 4 wasn't enough for all of you.
Not to invite a whole other family and ask for double the number!

Honestly I don't see him as lording it over I do think he didn't expect you to ask for THAT many. Maybe one or two extra. 'He did offer' is by the by, obviously there's a somewhat socially acceptable number as you wouldn't ask for, say, 20 extra tickets. Double the initial amount is too much.

His disorganisation notwithstanding doesn't he have a PA to handle this being so busy and important? hmphh

Dear God, don't say your are embarrassed! (I too would not have added quite so many extras and would have certainly checked/reminded him of the offer at the same time as asking)

Just respond saying thanks. Go and have a good time. With 8 of you going, you won't have to interact with him much. Busy yourself enjoying the time with the children.

I would just go with A.
I totally understand what you're saying, but no good will come of stirring it up.
It might be worth letting the raffle organisers know discretely about his slowness in responding and they can decide if they want to include that prize next year.

We normally offer something similar at a local fundraising event - cover for four people - we have occasionally added additional covers if we are aware it’s a bigger family\group however requesting double the allocated tickets was rude. I have to be honest if someone did this to me I would be calling them a CF.

Edit to add - he was also rude to not answer your emails

This

Just say sorry for misunderstanding as you thought he'd offered some extra and that you're more than happy with 4

B, definitely go, but I’d remind him he offered!

Thanks everyone.
I’m not sure I’d be brave enough for option D!
and with regard to asking for ‘double’ the number of tickets; within the context of the conversation it wasnt cheeky….he didn’t say ‘how many kids do you have, I’ll make it a family ticket’ it was ‘there is plenty of space, bring who you like ….except on this one date’.

C. I'd feel the same as you and would rather buy my own tickets than have to chase multiple times for freebies that are given begrudgingly. How on earth were you to know that when he said you coupd have more than 4 tickets he didn't actually mean that? And he couldn't even be arsed to give you the 4 in any case you annoying peasant. Nah, fuck that shit, just buy your own.