To want to give this prize back after 6 months.

[Thecurtainsdontmeet]

we won 4 VIP tickets to a sporting event, at a school raffle, date to be mutually agreed. Whilst the donor was named on the prize details, we didn’t know who they were other than a school parent. Turns out they are very influential at school. They were pointed out to me at at school event so I introduced myself, thanked them for the prize and we had a long chat during which he said that the prize was only nominally for 4 tickets, but we could bring more people if we wanted. There is no additional cost to him. He also offered to us VIP tickets to watch the premier league football team my son supports and to which he has links. I was to email him after the holidays. I duly emailed with our availability and got no response. After 6 weeks I messaged his wife (who I also didn’t know)to check he’d got the email. 3 weeks later he emailed pointing out that our date of preference was a school event, which I’d overlooked. I immediately replied with alternative dates. Heard nothing for 3 months whereupon he emailed 3 days before one of the dates I’d given (the other 2 dates had passed) saying we could go in 3 days. having not heard from him I hadn’t kept the date free. I emailed back and said we couldn’t go and provided alternative dates. A date was confirmed and he asked how many tickets we wanted, so I replied that we’d like 8, 4 adults and 4 children. He has just replied that normally he only gives 4, ‘but on this occasion’.

Im really embarrassed and feel like a scolded teenager. I would never have asked for 8 tickets if he hadn’t offered. I’m actually not sure I want to go at all now. I’ve had to chase this man from the outset to get the tickets he donated to a raffle and now he’s told me off for asking for additional tickets that he offered. It just feel like he’s lording over the peasants.
Would you
A) still take the 8 tickets and go(he will be there)
B) email back “Hi x , I’m quite embarrassed. I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke. 4 is fine thank you”
C) email back “Hi x, I’m quite embarrassed. I wouldn’t have asked for 8 tickets if you hadn’t offered additional tickets when we spoke. This all feels a bit uncomfortable now, so we are going to politely decline the tickets. I hope you enjoy the event”.
For context non VIP tickets to watch this event aren’t like gold dust and don’t cost the earth; we usually go as a family a couple of times a year anyway.

URBU- just take the 8 tickets and go
URNBU- politely give the tickets back.

Just go and get it over and done with

So, if without being asked you told someone they could bring more people if they liked you'd think they were a CF for asking to do just that? That's weird and rude!

@rookiemere was going to feed back to the raffle organisers…….its his wife.
can’t feed back to school either as they have fingers in every pie.

I wouldn't have asked for double the tickets, regardless of whether he offered them or not as it looks grabby.

I'd personally turn up with just 4 of you as originally planned.

@macedoniann he DOES have a PA. Probably more than 1.

I wouldn't have asked for 8 so B or C

I don't think you've been 'told off' and you would be cutting off your nose (and 7 others) to spite your face, however I wouldn't hold my breath.
It's possible this guy talks to many people and doesn't really remember you, hence the comment about 8 tickets. It could also just be 'banter' as in "well, not sure about that. Oh go on then beings it's you" type thing....or even that he really isn't supposed to give out extras (ie they're not his).
Personally seems like you're over thinking things. Do make it clear tho that you're unlikely to be able to go at short notice. You might find that if you've declined several dates the gift is obsolete

I think you’re as much in the wrong here as he was, I’d be very surprised if he anticipated you doubling the prize. I’d just reply apologising for any mid-understanding as he’d said you could invite others but happy to stick to 4 if it’s an issue.

A

A- just go and enjoy yourselves.

I would do A on the grounds that it's the least annoying and will take up less of his time.

All of this correspondence is crazy. Just go to it now.

Doubling the number of tickets was a mistake but I'd just power through now.

@SoupDragon - you have made me think again - I should have clarified - if the cover was for immediate family I would be fine about doubling the number - however the OP said four adults so I suspect it was an additional family so in that case I would think it was rude BUT you are quite right my thinking that was wrong given the offer was made - I will be sure when offering extra tickets in future to clarify it’s for additional family/group members only.

@NaughtybutNice77 after the 72hr notice email (having given dates 3 months previously) I emailed ‘I don’t hold unconfirmed dates’.
he definitely owns the tickets.
of course he doesn’t remember the conversation….im a ‘little’ person of no importance. I’ve almost had to beg to get the tickets.
im just very glad I didn’t mention the football tickets to my son. If you don’t plan on following through with grand gestures, just don’t make them.

Don't go then. It doesn't sound like you want to be in his presence.

Just go, yes it's a bit weird, but if it's something you'd enjoy, don't think any more about it!

sounds like he is a bit pants but my son and hubby regularly go to football matches and VIP type tickets are often sorted shortly a few days before the match. It's likely his company offers the places to clients etc and he was checking he had space. I also think if the prize is 4 and you completely doubled it then maybe taking the mic a bit - yes he offered but he prob meant more like 5 or 6 - there is not a limitless places anywhere at any event there is always health & safety limits.

"‘I don’t hold unconfirmed dates"
I'm guessing you saying this has rubbed him the wrong way too.
You seem to have annoyed each other.
I personally would suggest your family go so you son can enjoy it but maybe not go yourself. I think it would be selfish to not let your son go when you say he's a huge fan because you are now feeling uncomfortable.

It’s cheeky to ask for double the tickets; regardless of what he said. I work with elite sports; everyone with access offers a seemingly endless pot of tickets, nobody ever asks for more than one or two additional. It’s a bravado thing.

Go, with the original four people, or turn it down and say you’re unable to make it. Note that it will be last minute, because spare tickets are allocated then, after they’ve been offered to VIPs/partners/federations etc.

Ignore the football tickets invite unless he actually offers you some with a set date; too. He likely won’t.

It’s just small talk for people with this access level. I’m accredited so don’t need tickets to most things; but it doesn’t stop people offering you everything under the sun. It’s an ego thing.

I think asking for 8 was very cheeky!

I think asking for double tickets is very cheeky and grabby, 1 extra maybe but to be honest I wouldn't do that

@ittakes2 only a certain type of entitled person thinks they can ignore an email for months and then click their fingers and watch you jump into action.
my son is a huge fan of the football team he has links to and verbally offered tickets for, not this event. We can go to this anytime minus the VIP bit.

I think it would be selfish to not let your son go when you say he's a huge fan because you are now feeling uncomfortable.

I think this is a different event from the one the son loves but it's a good idea not to go yourself if you feel awkward about it all.

It sounds like a series of misunderstandings. You gave him the dates expecting him to get back to you and he didn't, probably because he had to make sure the box of whatever it is had space. Then you rejected the date you said you were free. On and on it goes. There was too much back and forth.

I would just go with the eight people (or let them go without you) now as you are in to deep to make more changes.

I still think it's cheeky to ask for 8 tickets. Do you need 8? How many children do you have?

But also won 4 tickets and he did say you could have extra (even if he didn't mean it or meant 1 or 2 extra) so ultimately should have been more responsive.

Some people say things and don't mean what they say which isn't your fault but "bring whoever you like" probably didn't mean you can have 8 tickets...

If you don't take them OP maybe just offer them to another family who genuinely couldn't afford to go and would really appreciate any free outing for their kids. Ask him if you can pass them forward via a local charity link that helps vulnerable families. They really wouldn't have such hang ups ( I'm not saying your wrong to have them) and tickets go to kids who it really makes a difference to.

@Nazzywish , lovely idea, but I’m not making this more complicated.