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Is this enough to break up over? New boyfriend ignoring me to punish me.

206 replies

wholst · 26/01/2024 19:55

Been with my boyfriend 3 months. Things have been going great, however, he phoned me tonight and asked what I was doing. I replied that I was going out for drinks with a male friend. I've known this friend for 17 years and we have had sex when we were younger which my boyfriend knows. But we are just friends now, there is no attraction there anymore which I've explained to my boyfriend.

Boyfriend is now completely ignoring me despite my reassurance that I'm only interested in him and that I've actually cancelled my planned evening with my friend. He's sitting online and completely blanking me.

This happened a few weeks ago also when he got jealous about me working with a guy around our age. He ignored me and I had to practically beg him to speak to me and then grovel for his forgiveness even though I did nothing wrong.

I hate being stonewalled but then I think maybe I shouldn't have a male friend who I have slept with. AIBU to think punishing someone with silence is out of line?

OP posts:
cheddercherry · 28/01/2024 10:33

It shouldn’t be this hard after a few months?! I mean he should actually never behave like this anyway (imagine a life of this?!) but the fact he’s not even hiding how horrible he is after 12 weeks just shows he’s vile.

You could make bunting from his red flags.

whatsitcalledwhen · 28/01/2024 11:25

Mate, you've been with this man for 90 days. Only 90 days!

If it's this hard this soon then it is not a healthy relationship to stay in. Ever.

BogRollBOGOF · 28/01/2024 11:40

It's a few months. It's supposed to be fun. It's excited butterflies time not walking on eggshells. There's no sunk costs. Dump and block. There's no happiness to be found here.

Daleksatemyshed · 28/01/2024 11:51

That nasty feeling in your stomach is trying to tell you something Op. He's like this after 3 months, think how bad he'll be after a year. You don't have to justify yourself to him, you have no ties, you can walk away and find someone much better.
Remember @wholst , if you let him get away with this behaviour he'll have no reason to change, he'll be nasty every time you don't do exactly what he wants. Dump him

pinkyredrose · 29/01/2024 11:39

wholst · 27/01/2024 19:54

Well he has been horrid all day. Really short with me (even though he text me first). He then removed his pic on WhatsApp and so I thought he'd blocked me then when I asked him all hell broke loose. He's very unhappy with me being in touch with my friend etc.

I told him in no uncertain terms that this behaviour isn't acceptable and he has apologised but I now just feel a bit meh. I feel really emotionally done in.

You're not considering staying with him are you?

ArchetypalBusyMum · 29/01/2024 12:55

Took his picture off to give the impression you'd been blocked though you weren't.
Naturally that triggered a response he could twist around since that's what smoke and mirrors is for.
Quite into mind games isn't he.
Gee, sounds like such a catch. Think you should introduce him to your parents so they can share your joy at a bright future with him.

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