To give DD a boy's name to appease DH gender disappointment?

[Afrikaaner]

I have posted somewhere else, but I don't know how to delete posts on MN. I feel like this is the most appropriate sub.

I have 3 girls and I am pregnant with the last who is also a girl. DH is very very disappointed, he doesn't want to mention her or the pregnancy. In his culture, having a boy is the most desirable; women who can't make babies are not seen as a real women ( his words, not mine).

A week ago, he suddently started telling me we should name her a boy's name. It would be the only way, according to him, to bond with his daughter. Not gender neutral, but male name. I said no, and since then , he won't talk to me. I feel guilty, and sad and I am thinking to go with his plan. I absolutely dislike his choices. Will I be unreasonable to find a male name I like and name her that?

You've being unreasonable to not name the child a name you both agree on.
He needs to get over himself.

He won't talk to you, he believes you have any control over whether a baby is a boy or a girl (he needs a lesson in human reproduction, its HIS swimmers that determine X or Y chromosome, nothing to do with you at all!) - why are you still with this absolute arsehole?

Your husband is a dick.

No. He needs to make peace with his family and start changing his culture. That’s what a real father would do. Push back hard.

It's the sperm that decides the sex of the baby. Does he know this?

When naming a child you need to consider that the child will have to live with the name. How do you think they will feel about being given an obviously male name rather than something gender neutral?

He does know she can't grow a penis doesn't he?

Perhaps remind your husband it's actually the male sperm that determines the sex of the baby in the womb. Maybe think about the sort of questions your unborn child will be asking you when she's an adult who has suffered a life time of tormenting because of her name. That's where your answer lies. Oh and leave your husband too. He's pathetic, not that you needed to be told that if course.

Give the baby a name you like, get a different husband.

Hell no. He needs to get over it. Imagine growing up knowing you were hoped to be a boy and give a boys name?! Unhealthy, no?

Oh come on. Really? If this is real, you’re asking the wrong question.

Give your kid a boy’s name if you want to, but in addition, maybe think about how this awful stain of a man is going to destroy her self-esteem and get the hell away from him?

You could also point out that sperm determines the sex of a baby, so it’s entirely on him that you have girls.

Have my first ever LTB before your girls grow up feeling unloved and not good enough.

Is there a female equivalent if this name?

Alexander and Alexandra for example.

The only unreasonable thing you did was have children with this man in the first place.. imagine being so disappointed in the gender you refuse to even acknowledge the pregnancy and demand you all basically refer to her as being a boy?!

Bonkers.

He sounds utterly ridiculous.

An actual boys' name is maybe a stretch if you aren't on board with it. What about giving her a girls' name but one with a masculine-sounding diminutive form? Something like Jacqueline = Jack, Roberta = Bob/Bobby?

I can't really see why it would help with his "problem" as he thinks it will, though. The real issue is in his head. If you have three healthy children he should give thanks for that.

Tell him you quite like Dave.

FFS these threads get worse.

Like you haven't worked out the answer for yourself.

I think she'd notice as she got older. I think if her dad continues to feel that way, being called a boy name would really spell it out to her. Show her that you want her, just as she is and give her a name for her. You can't make this better for your husband in any real way, but you can give your daughter a name you love that's for the girl she is.

Yes there is. But one means queen and the other princess, which is very much feminine.

I’d tell him he either accepts you’re having another girl or he finds a new wife. He’s an utter idiot as well, as it’s his body which decided the baby is a girl.

Dave 😂😂

Why don't you compromise and choose a unisex name? If you choose a boys name it will be so obvious.

He knows that, but told me all BS about how the acidity of the vagina or my diet could have had an impact.

I would simply point out to him that his disappointment is of his making, not yours, after all it’s his sperm that decides if it’s x or y with your egg

and no I wouldn’t agree to his request for a boys name, he needs to grow up

your poor child being forced to have a boys name because daddies sperm didn’t give him a son

women who can't make babies are not seen as a real women ( his words, not mine)

Why would you even be with a man like this?