To give DD a boy's name to appease DH gender disappointment?

[Afrikaaner]

I have posted somewhere else, but I don't know how to delete posts on MN. I feel like this is the most appropriate sub.

I have 3 girls and I am pregnant with the last who is also a girl. DH is very very disappointed, he doesn't want to mention her or the pregnancy. In his culture, having a boy is the most desirable; women who can't make babies are not seen as a real women ( his words, not mine).

A week ago, he suddently started telling me we should name her a boy's name. It would be the only way, according to him, to bond with his daughter. Not gender neutral, but male name. I said no, and since then , he won't talk to me. I feel guilty, and sad and I am thinking to go with his plan. I absolutely dislike his choices. Will I be unreasonable to find a male name I like and name her that?

What a catch he sounds...
Awful comment

This. What an asshole.

Please don’t give your baby a boy’s name. She’s a human being and she will have to use that name for the rest of her life.

I absolutely don’t intend to sound sanctimonious or rude here, but being a parent is a huge responsibility - that starts with deciding to actually have a baby and then deciding what to name him or her.

The very least you and your partner can do, as parents, is to give your baby a name suitable for her sex, to give her some dignity.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/baby_names/4993872-husband-wants-to-give-baby-girl-a-boys-name-to-appease-his-gender-disappointment

Just dropping your other thread here.

Comments across both should be enough to convince you how much of a sextet twat your dh is.

Seriously, sounds an absolute nob.

What, so this daughter will grow up and spend her whole life knowing that she isn't good enough? You might as well name her 'Disappointment' and be done with it.

Yes the name may help him bond with the baby (in his bizarre mindset), but this child will grow into an adult and spend the rest of their lives with a name that clearly shows that their parents didn't want a girl. She'll spend her life explaining to people and correcting people or will end up changing her name. What will he do then? How is he going to cope when she goes through puberty and grows breasts? When she starts her period? He can't hide the fact she's a girl then can he. Will he disown her?

So when the child asks

Why did you call me Arthur

You respond because your father wanted a boy?

Ditch him.

I think my vagina might turn to acid if I had to have sex with such a arsehole of a "man".

The baby's gender is determined by the male's sperm.

Run girl..⛳️⛳️

Good grief. A male name won't change the fact she's a girl. Your husband is a knob.

I commented on your other thread but
He knows that, but told me all BS about how the acidity of the vagina or my diet could have had an impac
But this is nonsense. He is the person responsible for producing girls, only him.

I’d call your husband a boy’s name- Dick.

When we met, he was very much a "standard" dutch person (I am south African though), he changed after our 2nd girl and even more after visiting his country of origin.

He was very happy to be a father and was the first to badmouth misogynistic standards. I could have never guessed.

There’s only one correct choice you can make in this situation and that’s to divorce.

Wtf am I reading. Is there actually people like this in the world 😔 I absolutely despair ..

Yeah, let alone unleash it onto Mumsnet! 🤣🤣

At least she got a choice, the 4 poor little girls who are saddled with a father who doesn't value them didn't

Absolute rubbish

As is he.

I know you're vulnerable atm but do you want your girls growing up with this absolute fool?

Frankly for the sake of your older daughters, I am relieved you are having another girl. The favouritism of a son would have been horrendous for them. He is being abusive to you and all your daughters - don't lumber a baby with the most obvious continual reminder that her father despises the fact she is a girl.

It would be the only way, according to him, to bond with his daughter

He is beyond ridiculous. I would not tolerate this nonsense for a second.

He knew full well when you decided to have another child that there was a 50% chance it would be another girl. Anyone who cannot accept that reality shouldn't be having children in the first place.

What will you tell her when she is older and asks why you gave her a male name?

I don't think I could be married to somone stupid enough to think that the acidity of a vagina determines sex. Or values boys more.

I think what I'm trying to say is you have bigger issues than him wanting to name your child a boys name.

Yes and this.

God know who they'll get into relationships with in the future if this is the male role model they have.

He's Dutch? Is he from one of those weird areas where they're super-conservative Protestants by any chance?

Why are you accepting his bullshit.

He and he alone determines the sex of the baby. Thats it, there is no other factor there.

A 'real man' would love his daughters and want the best for them, want them to be themselves. Only a weak, pathetic man would feel such shame at having daughters that he'd want one to pretend to be a man, and blame the fact she's a girl on some made up bullshit! Tell him that!

If he can't love and support his daughters properly he should fuck off out of it, he's no use to them at all!