I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

My Nonna was Greek, not Italian.

I genuinely never knew that some parents decide on the grandparents’ titles. I just asked mine what they wanted to be known as. Dad wasn’t fussed and just went with standard grandad. My mum went with her title because she found the alternatives chavvy. Incidentally the one she found most chavvy was what MIL wanted to be known as, so everyone was happy. I’d hate the thought of making my parents and in-laws so unhappy about something so silly and controllable.

I think I want to be Granny or Grammy if I ever get the pleasure of being an grandmother 👵

We asked each grandparent (including steps) what they wanted to be called and we ended up with a granny, a grandma, a mamgu, 2 grandads and a papa first name. It does seem a little precious of them to impose a term that you aren’t keen on on you. Good on you for compromising.

When my sister in law was pregnant my mother in law said "I will be grandma there is no-one else to consider I am the first" my mum had been Grandma for 10 years, I was only in the first months of dating my husband when my my became a grandma.
I have a name in mind that will hopefully work, it has meaning for me (what I called my own grandmother) but isn't a traditional northern name so will hopefully work with my adult step children & not tread on any toes with their Mum etc.

I asked my mum and mil what they wanted to be known as. My mum said grandma (that would be my choice) and my mil said anything so we suggested grandma smithy (not her real surname) and she said yes. I’m really not a fan of nana, but if they chose that I’d have gone along with that.

It needs to be something acceptable to both. Nonna is a bit mad unless it's another language. Never heard of it.

Op
Remind me what age you are I don't think you've mentioned it

Presumably it's do with how it sounds and not because it's Italian.

I actually love Nonna and might choose that myself 😂previously told my kids I wouldn't be granny or nanny and I'd probably be Oma and I'm definitely not German 😂

I am called Billie by grandchildren because it is my name, and I feel I have a right to decide how people address me. Entirely up to you, OP, unless it's something offensive.

I’m 5 years older than you and it’s my experience that when women of a certain age exaggerate their age it’s usually them fishing for compliments, ie ooh no, you can’t be 🤷‍♀️

@Hoardasurass No you don't get a choice if you want a relationship with your grandchild. It like every other decision about how this child is raised is up to the parents not you

Oh come on. What you are called... your NAME is not something others can foist upon you. That's ridiculous. You need to go come up with a compromise. No one should be called something they don't like

I'm a Nonna, I've spent a fair time in Italy and liked the sound of it don't care if I'm not Italian! We are all used to it and it is similar enough to Nanna. Go with what you prefer to be called.

I asked the grandparents what they wanted to be called… never even crossed my mind that as a parent I’d tell them what they were called..

I have only read the first couple of pages of responses, but I am amazed at the negativity on this thread.

If you don't want to be called granny or grandma and prefer nonna I would stick to your guns. The DGC won't care and your DS and DIL will get used to it really quickly.

We asked our parents what they wanted our DCs to call them, and they did go with conventional names, but we would have been happy with whatever unless it was something crazy.

I think Nonna is a nice name. It sounds like a warm hug and doesn't carry the old lady aspects of being called a granny. I thing your DGC will love his Nonna and I say stand up for yourself.

My grandpa is called Grandalf and we call my DS’s grandfather Grumpa, because he is grumpy

I'm surprised people think Nonna doesn't sound old ladyish. I picture a stooped and sun lined ancient Italian woman. Like a tiny raisin.

I think its fine to have a preferred name and we asked my parents what they preferred ! I think its rude they are saying it has to be granma tbh. Nonna is way better

When I first met my DP's best friend's parents they were introduced to me as Geri and Obi. They answered to the names and their grandkids called them that.

It was only after about two years of calling them this that I learned their names were short for Geriatric and Old Bitch! To this day I don't know what their real names are.

It’s a bit ridiculous to be called Nonna if you are not Italian.

Once the baby is born you really won’t care if you are called poobum because your family dynamic will change hugely.

Expect that the son and DIL will want to be nearer to you after all or request that you move to be nearer to them (particularly as you will need to be at some point anyway).

You may find the child finds their own nickname for you (this happens a lot).

I don’t think it’s too bad to be Nana or Granny. You are receiving this wonderful gift that many don’t get (our kids have no Grannies, both died mid 50s-early 60s).

What does it really matter? It’s just a name.

The point is, they saw the joke and were happy.

Why do people on Mumsnet even have a strong view as to what OP should be called by her DGC? If she wants to be called Nonna, let her. I think it's beautiful.

It never occurred to me to tell my children's grandparents what they wanted to be called. I asked them to tell me when they decided. Yes it is weird of them to dictate it, but nonna is an Italian thing and I think that is inappropriate because you're not.

What's ridiculous about it?
There's plenty of little English girls going around with Italian names.

First post nails it. I actually have a friend who's DM insisted on nonna despite being English. There was some eye rolling. I think she ended up just being called her name.

If you don't want to be an English variant of grandma then insist on the DGC using your name. Nonna is pretentious.