I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

I really like amma and omma (what the Koreans say for mum). I can’t really comment on people wanting to use a name not of their culture as I called one of my children a foreign name of which we have no connection.

I’m with those saying that grandparents should decide what they’re called. We let my parents and PIL decide what they’d like to be called. It would have felt very controlling to have told them what they were going to be called, I’m surprised that this happens!

I don't know the answer but I'm still laughing at 'Babushka' - If I ever become a grandparent, I'm requesting this. 😂... not sure I've ever met three wise men though - either collectively or individually. 😂

I don't believe that the OPs son and DIL wouldn't be absolutely fine about her choosing the name she wants to be called by provided it's on the spectrum of generally recognised choices within the OPs family culture which she has said herself is NOT Italian.

I can't grasp why anyone would press this and not just go along with something more traditional.

I suspect the son and DIL are putting their foot down also because they know the OP will get no end of sniggers from her friends and family and explaining this weird choice ("She's going by Nonna") will be part of the "narrative" around the new baby in a way which is - bluntly - attention seeking.

Give your head a swivel.

It seems you’re in a no-win situation really. If you were more pushy there’d be pushback for sure but being more passive means relying on them to make the effort. I think it’s hard being the fathers mother as you naturally have less involvement usually.

@OVienna OP isn't being given ANY choice. Not even of a different standard name. She's been told that she's going to be granny and that's it.

It's the prospective parents who are being controlling here.

Why doesn't she get to choose what she is called? All the GPs I know have chosen their own names

And Nonna isn't just a cutesy name its Italian for Grandma.

I'd stake my mortgage on their response as a measure of their exasperation with her generally around this request. Maybe they just put their foot down before Babushka was put forward .

The majority of responses here seem utterly bizarre to me. Those made up "not granny" names (like Gan Gan, Ni-Ni, Grandy - all of which I've come across) sound a bit wanky to my ears, but I cannot imagine insisting that someone be called something they don't want to be called. We asked both sets how they wanted to be addressed. I might have cringed slightly if they'd picked something really precious but I'm still not sure I'd have objected to it - it's them that'll be addressed that way.

@KeyboardMash agree a bit wanky! We talk about 'Granny' but the children often still call her 'Ga Ga' to her face as I think it reminds them of when they were little. I don't think they talk about 'Ga Ga' to their friends though 😀

My parents are Granjane and Granjohn ( not their real names).Is that a possibilty ( only works with a?single sylable first name so Gramoria ?. My maternal granmother should have been Nana I could say my ns so she was baba.

I think you need to put your foot down here OP as no one has the right to insist you're called a name you dislike, and you are fully entitled to refuse 'granny'.
What do you think will happen here if you assert yourself? Is your DS so controlling and mean spirited he'd refuse you a relationship with GC because you won't be called his name of choice? Or insist on teaching his chikd to address you in a way you dislike? If he is, I feel for you, because I guarantee this won't be the last time they will weaponise your GC to make you comply with their demands. However hopefully he isn't that intransient and if he really objects to your choice will at least agree on another option you're both happy with.

We asked our parents and they are all called what they wanted to be called. But that said I wouldn't be particularly comfortable with Nonna. Nana or something similar would be fine though.

My mother-in-law has lived all her life in Stoke and says it is the traditional word! She has a strong Potteries accent and I've definitely heard her read a book with a character referred to as Nana and she pronounces that Nan-na. She is definitely a Nona (pronounced Non-ah) from a long line of Nonas and alleges her friends all used to mention their own Nonas... But the OP has clarified it's a word she's chosen rather than a tradition she's chosen.

Yanbu, why does it matter to them what you are called by granddaughter, that’s so controlling, forcing someone to be addressed by a title they don’t like is weird

If they don’t like the name you chose, they won’t use it and, as you have already accepted, it’s not worth any conflict. I sympathise with your dislike of granny. I wouldn’t want that, or grandma (although I would go with it, if necessary). Fortunately, my adult children were happy for me to adopt Nanna, which I like! Maybe see if they will suggest something else they would be happy with.

I think you seem lovely and if you were my mil I’d visit more and be ok with my child calling you nonna 💝

When I was pregnant, we asked my mum and dad what they wanted to be called. I thought everyone did that! I thought it was a way to include them and let them be whatever type of grandparent they had imagined themselves as. My mum is a Nana, usually known as Naughty Nana because she’s a bit of a rebel!

I wanted my kids to call my mil one thing, she wanted another. They call her what she wanted.

Nothing wrong with Granny. I’m Granny.

What I found strange was my husband greatgrandmother was known as Gran, his grandmother as Nan - when the great grandmother died (aged 101) the christmas cards changed from Nan to Gran (obviously to her it was a matriarchal thing that the eldest was Gran, then the next generation was Nan)

@BirthdayRainbow

just out of interest, why would you want your kids to call her a particular name? It’s not you getting called it. No judgement, just genuinely curious?

I think it’s up to you what you’re called by your grandchild. My MIL is Nonna- no, she’s not Italian, just a bit pretentious. But I don’t care, my DH doesn’t care, and my son has only ever known her as this & thinks nothing of it. Honestly what skin is it off your son’s nose what you’re called (as long as it’s appropriate).

Because I have no family so wanted my dc to call my mil what I'd called my grandparent. I feel I had some input.

To feel I had in put *