I want to be called Nonna but….

[Moira1951]

I’ve been told Nonna is unacceptable by my son as they want my first ever grandchild (at 73) to call me granny. I don’t want to be called granny, do I have a choice as to what I’d like to be known as?

This!! Sense at last.

Why choose Nonna when you're not italian - that's a bit strange to be honest.

You should be able to pick what you want to be called … but if no Italian connection a little odd! I hate nanny or nana … so have chosen grams. You can be called what you like and if the parents aren’t happy to facilitate , just your name I suppose. Would the parents to be, be happy to be called something they didn’t like ? Probably not …

Oh boy, I have not realised it could be an issue and I’ve just had a baby 😬. Never had the conversation with my parents or in-laws… we call the grandmas ‘Babcia’ (Nanna in Polish) as both grandmas are Polish. If they asked me to call them Nonna with no Italian connection both my husband and I would laugh.

Both Babcias were absolutely ecstatic when the heathy baby boy was born and they didn’t seem to really care. Neither do I as an aunt - some of my nephews call me Auntie, some call me by my first name and I really don’t mind either. The relationship I have with them is far more important to me.

I’d say you can’t be nonna if you’re not Italian! That’s just daft.

But I do agree it should be your choice.

My mother announced she was to be “Nonna” too. No connection to Italy although they had a house there and she speaks Italian fluently.

So Nonna she is.

Na Nah, nanna, nan or any variation is horrible. Don’t like granny either.

It’s entirely up to you what you are called. Your son has fuck all to do with it. It’s between you and your grandchildren.

Nonna if you’re not Italian nor do you have any Italian connections is ridiculous and pretentious. Remember it’s not just you who has to say it- and get the inevitable questions (no we’re not Italian at all etc etc).

Plus what do you mean you don’t “feel” like a granny- that’s a bit patronising. What does a granny feel like? Surely there are many different types of granny, some who crochet cardigans, some who skydive, some who do both!

I think above all you need to bear in mind that this isn’t about you, it’s about your grandchild first and foremost, then its parents, then you. Surely the best thing is to decide on a term which you both like (I think a choice between gran, granny, grandma, nana or nanny is perfectly reasonable- if you want something more off the wall you’ll all need to be on board with it).

Nanna? Ummm no thanks, would just go with your first name instead. DS can’t object to that - it’s literally your name!

Snap, My FIL is grumpy and my dad was gangan. Both my mum and MIL are Grandma though. Both hated nanny - my Mum says it sounds like a goat! LOL

Absolutely! I have been agog at the 'you'll be called what we tell you and like it' comments

We asked our parents what they wanted to be called, because it will be their names, why on earth wouldn't you?? That said, if my mum had decided on Nonna I'd have been a bit bemused.

I also hate Granny though, can't say why, just can't stand it.

Don’t be ridiculous.

How many people’s kids on here have Italian names - Florence, Sienna, Sophia, Mia, Bella etc.

I am usually with the DIL in these things as I had one hell of a MIL, but it is absolutely your call what you wish to be known as.
I think it’s easier to pick something that is culturally ‘yours’ - easier to state your case for. But your son and his wife are being ridiculous.

Of course it should be your choice! Tell you son that if he calls you granny you are calling him Cedric from now on, because, y'know, your own name is in no way up to you.

See my post @ 11.59

Nani is what north Indians call the grandmother on their mothers side. Yes, use it. It is not causing any offence to this north Indian.

My parent in law didn’t like granny and grandad either so the children just call them by their first names.

How bizarre that people are saying its up to your son what you should be called. When I had children I asked my in laws what they wanted to be called as it's their name.

Granny is a term in my family, I had a granny, my mum had a granny etc. no way in hell am I going to be called Granny, I'll choose a name I'm happy with.

It would be nice if you were to be asked what you wanted to be called and nicer still if everyone went along with your wishes. What's the other grandparent (if there is one) being called? If so, can they be Granny?
My GCs have several sets of GPs and all are called by their requested moniker - that means there are three Grandmas, a Nan, a Nannie, a Nanna and two Grannies. The ACs say GP with the red car for example when describing who they are to see but if everyone is together for a family party all the Grandmas look up to see which one is wanted if their name is called. 😅All the Grandads are just that except one who is called a name he knew his GP by. To each their own.
When I had my first AC my mum wanted to be Granny but changed her mind after a few weeks to Grandma - not an issue. But very often you may find that GC's christen you with something else because they can't pronounce whatever you are called - one of my GC's other GPs is Mammar and it has stuck!!

Utter rubbish. I am not Gran Nana or any other British name for female grandparent and my Grandchildren aren't asked why the call me what they do.

It’s entirely up to you what you are called. Your son has fuck all to do with it. It’s between you and your grandchildren.

Yes, that’s the level-headed approach to take.

My preferred is Grandma (if the time comes) But if they insist on nan/nanna (shudder) then I guess I’ll just have to be grateful I’ve got a grandchild. Even if they give me a chavvy name 🤷‍♀️

We started off with Granny and Grandpa, however my son has renamed them. You can ask for that but be aware child may change it

I honestly can't believe people care that much 😕
We didn't particularly choose, my DHs parents chose to call themselves Granny and Grandad which is fine. My parents were Nanna and Gramps. Also fine. I can't get worked up about it.
Nonna, Papa, Queen Sheba. Whatever. As long as you love my kids and are nice to them you can call yourself whatever you like 😂

Thank you for telling me the reply button is not working, I wouldn’t have realised. I came on here to get a feel for opinion, being a reasonable person. I never thought choosing my name would be such an issue, and as someone pointed out Nonna is becoming as British in our multicultural society as Pasta! It seems there are some precious parents thinking they have the right to everything, and others saying my choice, or better still the baby’s choice. I’m fine with that. I think Na Nah will be my compromise, so we’ll see how that goes down.

Then genuinely, I'd back off.

If they've found a few things they've felt worth "pulling you up" on in the last year, they clearly think you're overstepping, even if you don't agree - and it's impacting on your relationship with your son.

They'll refer to you to their son more, so whatever they call you will be what sticks. If they refer to you as "granny" - "Do you want to go and see Granny?", "Oh that's Granny", etc, that'll be what he calls you, unless he happens to accidentally create a nickname at some point.

But genuinely I'd be more concerned about losing contact with all of them than this. Step back.