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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dp made this comment about my lady parts - aibu?

210 replies

Wilterh93 · 21/01/2024 21:59

Without going into too much detail, dp and me were messing around and he said ‘I can see your labia now, it hangs out a little bit now, did I cause that? It used to be like this when you were a virgin (uses his fingers to insinuate a neat vagina) but now it’s like this (uses fingers to show labia poking out)’.

He didn’t mean it in a malicious way and was saying it with a laugh on his face but it instantly embarrassed me and I hid behind the shower curtain. When I was upset/annoyed about it he said I’m too sensitive and need to grow up and that it’s not a bad thing.

I’m not upset about the technicalities of what he said. I’m nearly a 30 year old woman ofcourse my vagina will not look how it did as a teenage virgin. I just feel that it was an unnecessary comment that he didn’t need to make, especially in a vulnerable moment when I was naked. He found it innocent and said it’s not a bad thing but I know he would never say that to another woman. I feel with me he has no filter.

Am I being unreasonable to be slightly offended/upset about this? How would you feel if your partner made a comment like this? I think it doesn’t help that I’m quite self conscious of my body and insecure. During sex I’ve learned to not worry because he’s never made a comment like that but now im going to feel slightly awkward when he’s near that region …

OP posts:
Begsthequestion · 23/09/2024 01:09

"No of course it wasn't you, my dear...[shrug] I guess I'm just in full bloom." 😅

Teanbiscuits33 · 23/09/2024 01:23

I find it hilarious how men genuinely think their cocks can change a woman’s anatomy. How thick are they? 🤣

FloraCameron · 23/09/2024 12:04

It really pisses me off that women are still led to believe that the 'ideal' genitals should effectively be like those of little girls (all neat and tucked in - preferably with all hair removed, so that it's like the vulva of a child). As we go through puberty and into womanhood, our vulvas change shape and colour. It's entirely normal. If you watch the Channel 4 show 'Naked Attraction' you'll see an astonishing array of shapes. Most men I know LOVE the opposite of the 'little girl' vulva. Much more womanly. I think that your DP's comment was purely observational, but you took it as a criticism. What's interesting is why you interpreted the comment as a negative one. I suspect it's more to do with the sh!T that society - and the media - constantly feed us. You rock! xx

FrauPaige · 23/09/2024 12:15

@FloraCameron Not having watched Naked Attraction for more than 3 minutes is my life's greatest achievement.

Frannyhy · 23/09/2024 12:25

I had a flatmate who was an outie. She bought someone home and kicked him out of the door for saying “You’re all hanging out, is there something wrong?”

The row woke me up!

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 23/09/2024 12:33

Tell him he'll have a ballsack hanging down to his knees in a few years!! 😁

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 23/09/2024 13:08

🤣 Possibly inappropriate to post this here, but I can't help being reminded of the poster who on the "what does your vagina look like" thread wrote "a punched lasagne" 😄

(Don't come for me for using vagina instead of vulva please)

Bantai · 23/09/2024 13:21

Rude.
And him telling you that you are too sensitive is deeply offensive and what abusive men say.
OP, have a good hard think about your relationship because if you were my daughter I would be telling you that he is rude, uncouth, and simply not good enough for you.

It was rude, inappropriate, and plain ignorant.🤢🤮
I hope you get the ICK for him and find your worth.

FloraCameron · 23/09/2024 23:28

Me, too. It's excruciating.

FloraCameron · 24/09/2024 11:41

Gross comment.
Funny! I've never heard the term 'outie' used for women's genitalia. I've only heard it used for a belly button: my belly button was a definite 'outie' when I was a little child - like a nose (I hated it). Luckily it receded and is now 'normal'. How the f* did that happen??). xx

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