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DH often suppresses a laugh when I'm being serious

187 replies

Anonin · 21/01/2024 21:05


Maybe I'm overtired and touchy, but tonight I blew a fuse because DH suppressed a laugh when I tried to show him some martial arts movements that I learned as a kid, and not for the first time either. We've been married for more than a decade, and I've never been able to show him the movements in full, because the few times I did, he always laughed and then said that he suddenly thought of something funny which had nothing to do with me.

A few years back I was also very angry, because I was talking about something serious and personal, and he was suppressing a laugh all the way through, and, when I got angry, he said it wasn't me, he just thought of something funny. This happens times and again too, only sometimes I just let it go, but sometimes I was extremely vexed, depending on my mood.

I find this so childish. He made me feel ridiculous and regret confiding something I cherish with him. I believe him when he said that he wasn't making fun of me, but I'm furious that he cannot control himself to behave like a normal person would when others are being earnest. Particularly when I was talking passionately, this would be a moment that he often thought of "something funny". DH doesn't have friends, was bullied at school, and his siblings are all the same.

DH helped a lot with the baby, so I can't say he's a bad spouse, but tonight I feel so resentful that I almost wanted to book a plane ticket for me and my baby to my dad's place and leave him alone for a while.

AIBU? What would you do in my position?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

370 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
AMuser · 21/01/2024 21:07

Sorry but I’d snigger if someone tried to show me some martial arts moves they learned as a child 😂

perhaps it’s you who is overly serious?

itsmyp4rty · 21/01/2024 21:08

Why on earth would you be demonstrating martial arts moves that you learned as a child to him? If my husband did this I'd probably laugh at him too. If you're passionate about it why haven't you done it since childhood? It's all very strange. I think you take yourself way too seriously.

Deathbyathousandcats · 21/01/2024 21:09

Oh come on now.

Ktime · 21/01/2024 21:10

Don’t use your baby as punishment.

And yes, if DH tried to demonstrate some martial arts moves to me, I would piss about laughing too!

Anonin · 21/01/2024 21:10

I meant I learnt is a child from my father, who learnt it from his father, who learnt it in China. I'm still practicing it when I'm alone in my room. So it's something I cherish.

OP posts:
NotTerfNorCis · 21/01/2024 21:10

Martial arts moves are one thing, but if you're telling him something 'serious and personal ' and he's sniggering, that's not great.

Changingplace · 21/01/2024 21:12

Why are you trying to show him martial arts movements? I’d probably laugh if my DH started doing that, it’s not like you were having a serious discussion and he’s laughing at you.

ChanelNo19EDT · 21/01/2024 21:12

I bet it's annoying but I laughed when my x demonstrated his tae kwando.

I think it's because he seemed to switch in to a different gear. He seemed to step out of our connection :-/ and seemed to go into some kind of trance.

I laughed because I felt uncomfortable, not because I don't rate tae kwando or didn't think he was doing it well.

Deathbyathousandcats · 21/01/2024 21:17

Are you ‘quicker than the human eye’?

TheWizardHowl · 21/01/2024 21:25

Deathbyathousandcats · 21/01/2024 21:17

Are you ‘quicker than the human eye’?

You're a very bad person and so am I, because I laughed at this.

Bex5490 · 21/01/2024 21:25

If you’re considering leaving him because of this then maybe you don’t want to be with him for other reasons…

What was your facial expression like when doing the moves. Maybe that’s why it was funny? Could we get a more detailed description of the moves? I’ve had a hard day and I wouldn’t mind seeing and then finding something else completely unrelated funny 😆!

Lighrbulbmo · 21/01/2024 21:29

yab silly. 🤪 let it go. And don’t show him again.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/01/2024 21:30

I farted the other day when attempting a press up. DH nearly peed himself laughing

Anonin · 21/01/2024 21:33

@Bex5490 Haha, nice try 😁. I wouldn't want to share this with strangers. The first few times I laughed with DH too, but then I told him I would like to be able to practice outside of my room alone without him laughing, since this is something I cherish that has been in my family for three generations, with my grandpa specifically went to China to learn it 😄. Sounds silly, I know, but had the roles been reversed, I wouldn't laugh at DH. He has some hobbies I consider childish, but I tried to really understand and show interests when he was being passionate about them.

OP posts:
Roundtable83 · 21/01/2024 21:33

Oh my god, just these responses have got me hysterical! 🤣
OP, I do think you’re being over-sensitive though. It’s probably because he’s in a situation where he knows he shouldn’t laugh but can’t help it. To be honest, it probably did look comical!

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 21/01/2024 21:35

He is not very good at suppressing his laughter is he ?

However why do you persist in showing him ? He's clearly not interested, and clearly doesn't see how it is relevant to your everyday life with him and your child.

Maybe if you could explain why it is so important to you to him he may be more understanding.

PissPotPourri · 21/01/2024 21:36

“AIBU? What would you do in my position?”

Round kick your DH then put him in a naked chokehold

Anonin · 21/01/2024 21:37

@Roundtable83 I bet it might look comical, but when I told him many times that I cherish it and it's a kind of generational thing in my family, I'd hope he'd stop laughing. And he did it too when I talk about serious and personal things, too.

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 21/01/2024 21:39

Maybe you're starting to find out why he was bullied at school and has no friends now. Everyone else thinks hes a dickhead as well.

Anonin · 21/01/2024 21:40

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon I told him this has been in my family for three generations and I'd like to teach my child too. My grandpa went to China to learn martial arts, and he finally learnt from someone who was quite famous. However ridiculous it may seem, shouldn't he be more serious if I said many times I cherished it? I would if it were him.

OP posts:
Potatohigh · 21/01/2024 21:43

Honestly is it something culturally significant?

If so it's slightly odd to be practicing moves that your grandad showed your dad who then showed you and your planning on showing your kids? When you aren't doing the sport In any other way?

If it's something your interested in then I'd probably look at classes otherwise its a bit odd

Alwaystired2023 · 21/01/2024 21:44

I'm so sorry OP and I do totally get that you are making it clear this is a cherished and personal thing you are trying to share with him

This whole thread is making me very giggly though (sorry OP)

InWalksBarberalla · 21/01/2024 21:46

I'd struggle to keep a straight face if my husband started talking about cherishing things.

Just do your martial arts around the house so it becomes routine.

janeintheframe · 21/01/2024 21:49

I’m sorry op, I’m with everyone else. If my husband cracked out martial arts moves he learned as a kid, I’d probably laugh too. And the poster who asked if you are faster than the human eye made me guffaw.

sorry, 😂

look just do it in your bedroom, you cherish it, you don’t need to make him watch.

NonPlayerCharacter · 21/01/2024 21:49

PonyPatter44 · 21/01/2024 21:39

Maybe you're starting to find out why he was bullied at school and has no friends now. Everyone else thinks hes a dickhead as well.

That could be it.

Although the martial arts demonstration might have been funny.

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