To be P***** as this

[xTina89]

I am so sick of DH taking the piss with nights out and other things, He goes out all day drinking every couple of weeks on a Saturday, as well as the numerous other things he has planned through the week!

Yesterday he went out at 9am and got back at 3am, like what on earth could somebody doing for all that time, yes ok when you're in your 20's with no responsibilities, but at 33 with 2 young kids I don't understand. He is rough today as well and he knew I had work, I am so tired of this.

I would also hate to be somewhere I didnt feel wanted, However, it has come from somewhere, the lack support from him and his laziness has led me to this?

If that's the case the no, I certainly wouldn't want to live like that.

Going by his age I'm assuming you're not to far off so being with someone that treats you like that for years to come will just make you unhappy and resentful.

Clearly when you asked him what he wanted from you the list doesn't sound like he practice's what he preaches and you get nothing in return.

Also, on the very few times that he has been required to collect my daughter from after school club on my working day, he has called me 5 minutes before it finishes to say he is going to be late. I am always on pins if he agrees to do something at a certain time.

On my first night out in 2 years with the girls as I was BF my son, he decided to not come home until 10pm as he was out for his friends birthday, although he knew I hadn't been out in ages, he knew about the night out and was only going for food so I just assumed he would be back as he always has the opportunity. I got ready and sat around for hours and just ended up crying, when he got home I just got in a taxi and met my friends at around 11pm and looked a right state and he didnt see what the problem was.

There have also been times where I have asked him to get me chocolate, wine etc from the shop on his way home whilst I put the kids to bed, his response was well you dont deserve it

Ugh. What do you have to do to deserve it? You're already single handedly parenting his kids.

I honestly think this man is an alcoholic. The social scene is just a front. If he's 'socialising', he's drinking. I think that's the main issue here.

No its me thats the alcoholic remember

He also says that I live so much in the past and thats why I cant move on

You may be an alcoholic. That's not a criticism- it's a widespread problem in this country.

But he is also an alcoholic. Binge drinking can be a form of alcohol dependence and he more than ticks that box from what you've said. Many people wouldn't be very interested in constantly socialising if they had to do it dry. I'm guessing he's one of them.

He's not addicted to socialising. He's addicted to getting shitfaced.

What he means is that he doesn't like it when you point out what an arsehole he is.

who would want him? Thats his fault he’s a lazy nasty useless turd who deliberately chooses his actions to impact on your work and to stop you going out, and to make you feel like shit. Nothing he does is for your or his own childrens benefits. Open a spreadsheet. Estimate his time at home for the last few months.
list what happens when you have plans.
document that he doesn’t collect your daughter on time, note you have 6 text messages saying he will be late for the 7 times you’ve asked him to collect her in the last few months. Get your mum to do similar and send to you. Add it to the file.
look at that. And you progress the separation, take notes of how many times he works to see his children or do something for them. Then you speak to a lawyer and you say I acknowledge the act of separating might inspire him to step up and do much more parenting than he’s ever done in the past. So, as long as he’s not drunk or hungover and is able to keep them safe and feed them, I propose he start with taking them for one day on the weekend, Sunday. After a month of that he can have them stay Sunday night and take them to school on Monday. This is a huge step up for him so I really hope he’s prepared to do this.

everything he says is stepped on dog shit served up on a plate. Ditto everything his sister says. She says he doesn’t feel wanted- you say no woman would want your brother, you must really have no idea how useless and downright nasty he is to live with.

Thanks so much for all your advice everyone, Feeling a lot stronger today and actually really enjoyed the past few days on my own.

I was about 37, met someone else when I was 39 (didn't go looking) and am so much happier. I was happier as soon as we separated actually. Being a single mum of little ones is hard but I realised how much he was dragging me down and I've never had a single wobble