To take time off work to care for DH with gastro

[Fanningme]

I'm due to do a shift tomorrow at work . DH has started with some kind of D & V - It seems pretty bad. I don't think I could go to work knowing DH is at home vomiting with no adult to take care of him - I'd be constantly worrying. My teenager will be in but will probably be asleep mosr of the morning. DH is saying he wants me to stay home to take care of him.

Assuming he's still vomiting tomorrow morning is it reasonable for me to miss work to care for him as I am not ill. Would it be on an unpaid compasdionate leave basis? Sorry - I've never been in this position before.

What care does he need op?

I wouldn't grant you to have compassionate leave to care for your husband with the shits.

Sorry but what are you going to do, hold his hand? Can't think of anything worse when I'm I'll than someone hovering around me. Does he usually struggle to be independent?

Does he have additional or mobility needs?

Well in my house an adult would typically look after themselves in a D&V situation.
If I was going out to work I’d check dh had water and whatever else he needed but other than that he’d be left to get on with it. What would ‘looking after him’ entail?
I do get 15 days a year of paid carers leave which can be used for any kind of caring capacity but neither dh nor I are needy ill people preferring to be left alone in peace so I wouldn’t use it on him for something like this.

What would you do to take care of him? Unless he's vulnerable in some way or it's extremely bad then yet, vast majority of adults can cope with D&V alone. And he's not alone anyway!

How ill is he? If he's got worrying symptoms I understand why you wouldn't want to leave him but just D&V, surly he is fine on his own? He just needs to bring a bucket into bed with him isn't that what most do?

I don’t think you can take time off in that scenario. Realistically what could you do anyway? You need to keep a distance to prevent you and your son catching it so I would be leaving him in bed with a big jug of water. Get your son to call in on him every hour or so once up. It’s horrible but I think he has to just get through in this instance.

I’m thinking you might need to give more information such as your dh having a disability or mobility problem separate to his d&v?
or perhaps your dc is a very young teenager so it is more that they can’t be left?

Not sure that would fall under compassionate leave OP.

What exactly are you worried about?

It would not cross my husband’s or my mind to take leave from work to care for the other one, unless there was something else happening. It is no fun having D and V but it will pass and you can come home and help out after work then. And of course, the teenager can be called upon in an emergency.

have either of you not been unwell alone at home before?

If he's so ill he needs you home to help him, he should probably be in hospital. It's d and v. He will be ok

Does your dh have additional needs? If not, you should go to work. An adult should be able to manage d&v without assistance unless there is reason for extra concern. If it was my dh he'd actually tell me to keep my distance because he'd be concerned I'd catch whatever he'd got.

Would you like him to stay with you if the roles were reversed & would he?

If the answer is yes, then stay with him. I don't like leaving poorly ppl at home more or less alone either. The ONLY thing to consider is that whatever he has might be contagious via the D&V. If it's something like noro then you'll likely be off sick yourself in a few days

This. Unless he is at great risk for some other reason this is just daft.

Sorry but this would not go down at all well where I work.

This a joke? What does he need you for? To wipe his arse? 🤣🤣

Given that there will be a teen in the house - who presumably can be woken and asked to be alert to any fainting dramas etc, there surely isn't a need for you to be off too? The teen is a valid member of the family team and will have to doze on the sofa or something instead of being dead to the world in bed.

TMK - I had violent norovirus a couple of weeks ago and was incredibly glad dh was at work and DC at school so I could moan, groan and urge without being overheard!

Personally I'd keep my powder dry for carers leave for when you really need it. This isn't it imo.

Nor at mine! Serious illness, ok. But D&V absolutely not.

I had gastro once. Had to deal with it whilst solo parenting a 3yo. Your husband will be fine, I'm not sure what you think he needs you home for?

No additional mobility needs. I guess someone to empty his vomit bucket, get his paracetamol and mop his brow is what he'd require

Nobody needs someone to be with them if they have the shits, unless there are exceptional circumstances. It's a bloody nightmare managing people who phone in/refuse to come in to work for trivial stuff like this.

How odd to even consider it… he is an adult. What care would he need from you that would make it necessary to miss work? Leave him with a big bottle of water and a sick bucket, text him throughout the day.

He's an adult. Not a toddler. He can look after himself.

Personally op I would not be staying off work to care for someone with those symptoms. It’s really nice of you to think of it though.

I would not expect my partner to stay off if it were me unless we had a baby or dependants who would need care that I would be rendered unfit to provide.

Does your dh have vulnerabilities like immunity compromised condition or disabilities or mobility issues meaning he actually needs care?

Adults take care of themselves for something like this.