To take time off work to care for DH with gastro

[Fanningme]

I'm due to do a shift tomorrow at work . DH has started with some kind of D & V - It seems pretty bad. I don't think I could go to work knowing DH is at home vomiting with no adult to take care of him - I'd be constantly worrying. My teenager will be in but will probably be asleep mosr of the morning. DH is saying he wants me to stay home to take care of him.

Assuming he's still vomiting tomorrow morning is it reasonable for me to miss work to care for him as I am not ill. Would it be on an unpaid compasdionate leave basis? Sorry - I've never been in this position before.

You won't get paid leave to wipe your husband's brow. You'd have to pull a sickie. Is it worth risking your job for? Hard to believe this is a real question...

Oh yes, 100%

I think by law your employer has to let you take leave if you view it as an emergency
https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

it doesn’t have to be paid.

As much as people mock D&V, it can kill so shouldn’t be taken lightly if he is very unwell. Around 1.5 million people die every year globally from diarrhoea causing infections every year.

This has to be a joke. He's a grown man 🙄

Is this a trick question?

Can’t he vomit down the loo? Or if necessary sit on the loo holding a bag. Would not have thought this was a communal sport.

Not normal at all - you can't not go to work because he's got a tummy bug unless he's disabled and you're his carer and he'd be at great risk if you weren't there. If he becomes extremely unwell your teen can call 111 or, in a genuine emergency, 999.

He just needs water, electrolytes and sleep.

Yo pp asking why he can vomit in the toilet. All I can say is you're lucky to not know the answer to that!

I've had d&v when it's coming from both ends at once so you need to sit on the loo and vomit in a bucket.

I'm glad I live alone! There's no way in hell I'd be pandering to a fully capable grown man who has a stomach bug. I'd be glad to get the hell away from him for half a day.

I mean it depends both on how ill he is and how flexible your work is (and if you have to work on a Sunday I imagine the answer is that cover is repaired so not very).

I have been really astonishingly unwell with D&V, when I was living on my own, to the point where I called the Samaritans because I was in so much pain from it all I would have rather been dead. I rang my mum the next morning and she came and looked after me, I had just lain on the bathroom floor all night because I couldn't move even a foot without losing my stomach contents.

If he was that unwell I would think about it, because I think I was seriously at the point where there was a question over whether or not I would need to be hospitalised.

I've had other bugs where I'm being sick maybe every hour or two but I can basically lie in bed or on the sofa groaning before rousing myself every couple of of hours to be ill. In that instance I'd leave him to it with alarms set for the teenager to bring him water etc.

This is very much a joke.

😂

YABU. Mop his brow?! If he has diarrhoea then he'll be on the toilet a lot so he can just empty his sick bowl into the toilet while he's there. You can leave the paracetamol near him. I hope he feels better soon. But I don't think not turning up to work to mop his brow is going to speed up his recovery.

Can’t he be sick in the toilet? Or empty his own sick bowl.

I’m struggling to imagine how supportive my boss would be if I told him I wasn’t coming to work Monday because my husband had the runs. I wonder what the parents of the 31 children in my class would think!

If he really is that ill, ask your teenager not to sleep all morning and check up on him…

Come off it, he’s an adult who feels terrible. That doesn’t stop him getting up to empty a bucket. Is this a wind up?

Nice try OP of course you can't stay home with no consequences

He's got D&V - he just needs to be left alone, like we all would in that situation. I would always insist on my husband going out so I could feel grotty in peace.
Just leave him a jug of water near his bed and go to work.

@Fanningme is he 5??? for goodness sake, he is an adult and only has d and v!! he most likely will spend a good bit of the day sleeping once the sickness has worn off in a few hours! I would not be happy if an employee of mine stayed off for this!

How many of those in a developed country with free healthcare and such a devoted spouse? I don’t think the risk here is too high.

In that case I wouldn't expect your work to be impressed.

How do you think people who live alone manage?

I couldn't think of anything worse than "being taken care of" In a D&V situation. I need to be left well and truly alone.

If I were you, I'd leave some supplies by his bed (water, paracetamol, crackers etc) and then get yourself to work. He'll be sleeping on and off anyway.

And what happens if you end up needing leave yourself if you catch it?

An able bodied husband is not a dependent sorry it didn't quote properly that wasn't for you.

Go to work, he'll be fine!
If you pander to that bullshit you'll be stuck with a dependent man child.

Also, I would expect any adult with d&v to make it to the bathroom and under no circumstances would i be cleaning anyone's vomit bucket 🤮

Stay away from him, he's contagious. I would take care of a child in this situation but an adult can adult.

Does he have any other symptoms OP? Has he recently had any other illness, injury or infection? Is he passing urine? I say this because chronic diarrhea and sickness can be a sign of Sepsis. Usually they are accompanied by other symptoms, but it is always worth checking the Sepsis symptoms online, if nothing other than to rule it out. It often poses as gastroenteritis. And of course, always call 111 or seek help if he gets worse.

Of course the vast majority of D&V is down to bugs or food poisoning and it just requires time, rest and a can of Dettol spray!

He’s a grown man! Of course you’d be unreasonable. I live alone, if I’m unwell I have to manage. He will be able to do the same.