To worry about my children starving to death in an emergency?

[Mnk711]

I have long been worried about what will happen to my toddler and baby if something happened to me at home e.g. a fall, a stroke etc. My DP works away a lot for long periods so we are often home alone, have no close neighbours, and no routines etc that anyone would notice us missing from. There's a good chance if I were to be incapacitated no one would come and help my children. The recent case in the news about a two year old starving to death has brought all my fears up again. AIBU to worry about this? Does anyone have any good suggestions of how to deal with this risk e.g. apps, technology, arrangements with others...?

You need a couple of emergency contacts who you check in with every day, to know you’re okay. Could you become friends or acquainted with a neighbour? Maybe go to local stay and play groups to make some friends there. I do think it is an irrational worry but understand that they can sometimes be the scariest!!

Surely your husband would call daily?

How old are your kids?

Presumably your DP is in contact every day, even if briefly? So he would know if you were not responding, and ask someone to check on you.

As a start I would make sure that your husband checks in with you a couple of times a day, and gets someone to check on you if he isn’t able to get in contact with you.

If your partner is just working away surely he'd be in regular contact with you though. I cant imagine anyone working away wouldn't be in touch with their partner on a daily basis.

IF something happened to you your children would hopefully only be going hours on their own before their Dad raised the alarm

I think your husband needs to check in and have a number to call if he cant get hold of you in a timeframe, like a localish friend who coukd pop round.

Thanks all unfortunately DP works in remote locations so is often out of contact. Whilst we do have friends and neighbours they are literally not close as we live rurally so they wouldn't walk past the house or just pop by. I have in the past had family message evert day to check in but they found it a bit over the top I think.

How old are they? Can you teach the eldest to call 999? Unless you have a medical condition it seems unlikely to happen tbh.

I know it's not quite the same but I worry about this with my cats and therefore have a bag of dried food not properly closed that if they could probably open if they needed to.

Talk to your children about 999 way before you think they might understand and make sure they know your address as soon as possible. It's one of the reasons a landline is still useful as it will give emergency services your address.

As above, surely your partner is in contact reasonably often and would notice your absence?

An expensive option, but I believe an Apple Watch can alert a contact / emergency services if you have a fall or a concerning heart rate change while wearing it.

Don't be ridiculous, your partner is presumably in touch.

Put a key box o/side your front door.
IF DH can’t reach you he phones neighbour or family or police to do a welfare check on you. At that time/during call he gives out the code for key box but changes it after it’s used.
Would that help to settle your fear?

Children are 2, nearly 3, and 6 months. We don't have a landline as we've been switched over to a digital exchange, but perhaps I should get a phone you can plug into the router and show my 2yo how to call 999. That's a good idea.

Comsider your age and health. The man in that tragic case was 70 with a very poor heart and I think other problems. How likely are you to have a serious health event? Can you improve your health - do you smoke or drink, are you obese? Take action on those things. I don't discount that there can be conditions of risk, like diabetes - if you have this, are you starting to teach your children how to help you?

Teach your children to speak to strangers. Quite seriously - get them used to speaking to shopkeepers, saying hello to policemen, answering the door (with you). Make them outwardly focused, socially confident.

At 3 you can start teaching him to ring 999 and learn your address. I would just keep drilling it into his head at any opportunity. Watch some YouTube videos about children ringing 999 or emergency's.

Once he starts to catch on practice scenarios where he would ring 999, like mummy on the floor not waking up etc

https://www.deadmantracker.com/

Something like this op? I can't really believe that you have three under 3 and aren't speaking to people every day though, are you OK? Is eldest not in child care?

Keep some food and water in a low cupboard. Apparently the food was just out of reach for that poor little boy.

How stupid. Many of us have partners who work away and are not in touch for days at a time!

It's a very sensible question for a lone parent of non school age children or lone parents of home educated children.

But I think you’re being over-anxious. It’s super unlikely.

I've taught my 5 year old to call 999 off my locked phone and told her what to say until she knows it off by heart.

I've also taught her to shout for the neighbours and bang on the walls if mummy was unresponsive.

These are life skills you should teach your kids.

Why would the eldest be in daycare when she's on maternity leave? Outsourcing parenting isn't the norm for everyone.

Your contact every day could maybe be simplified, eg you just send a smiley face text to your mum or whoever every morning and if you don’t then they call you.

Unhelpful

OP isn’t being ridiculous! There are many jobs, being on deployment in Navy where it wouldn’t be feasible to call everyday if on operations with comms blackout. Not sure why you wouldn’t believe her saying her partner isn’t able to call or message all the time.

Can’t advise OP, I assume there must be some apps that ask you to check everyday or some other frequency otherwise they’d raise the alarm with contacts you have nominated in advance.

I taught dd that water from any tap is safe to drink (I showed her very early on..she can reach bathroom tap as water more important than food). and she can reach the bread sticks and she knows how to ring 999 from aged 2...but yes dh thinking from this sad case we should write my pil and dp numbers down although they in a book by the phone but but not sure she can read it..tbh I know if no one answered the phone my dpil.turn up..
Dd couldn't open door but neighbour across way has key, their front room looks onto ours and they know dp and the husband always in front room..I can what would happen there....my DP can't travel sadly but they be phoning alot and dd has been known to answer the phone. Both pil and dp talk to us daily. You right though to plan just in case. That poor baby
Heart breaking

Socialisation? Isolating your kids isn't the norm for everyone (thank God). A couple of mornings of nursery a week is hardly outsourcing parenting 😂