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AIBU?

I’m leaving DH but kids don’t want to come with me

210 replies

Flabbymummy1 · 19/01/2024 19:34

I’m leaving DH through the night we have 3 dc’s together. I’m the main earner and because of this he has been the main caregiver. He has controlled my kids so much and turned them against me they hate me so much. He undermines me in front of them so they just think I’m a joke.

Do I just take 1 year old ds? the older two won’t come with me? He is saying I won’t see my kids ever again.

I’ve booked and Airbnb for a week then I will have to sort out some housing.

OP posts:
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CharlotteBog · 21/01/2024 02:50

heartofglass23 · 21/01/2024 02:29

Get evidence of this emotional and verbal abuse before you leave.

Get advice from women's aid.

Can you not go to one of their refuges? They aren't just for physical abuse.

Read the thread, or at least OP's posts.
Why would you just launch in with your advice on such a sensitive thread?

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PiersPlowman11 · 21/01/2024 03:16

Edit. I see that you got out. Good; now work on your relationship with your kids.

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Mummyoflittledragon · 21/01/2024 06:23

Serrina · 21/01/2024 00:34

First thing Monday morning go down to the local council and tell them you've fled domestic violence and have nowhere to stay. Then take it from there. Get your DD out of there as well, if that means getting the police to escort you to the house then so be it.

Yes, do this. You need to otherwise you could loose your daughter to him. He is likely to start on her once she stops being the malleable child she currently is.

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CharlotteBog · 21/01/2024 08:08

Yes, do this. You need to otherwise you could loose your daughter to him. He is likely to start on her once she stops being the malleable child she currently is.

What makes you say she will lose her daughter? She is too young to make that decision herself.

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Dmsandfloatydress · 21/01/2024 20:34

Go to the school on Monday and collect your daughter at lunch time. I have done thus with women when I worked in Domestic Abusr. He won't be expecting it.

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TheSquareMile · 21/01/2024 20:41

@Flabbymummy1

OP

Have you been in touch with the Duty Social Worker in your area over the weekend?

If not, do get in touch with them in the morning.

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ISSTIUTNG · 21/01/2024 20:54

Reading OP's latest post I interpret that it could mean that she does have all 3 kids, that dd didn't want to go but is with her anyway. I hope I'm right...

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Serrina · 21/01/2024 22:03

CharlotteBog · 21/01/2024 02:50

Read the thread, or at least OP's posts.
Why would you just launch in with your advice on such a sensitive thread?

@CharlotteBog I don't see what the problem is? She gave helpful advice. The OP doesn't just need tea and sympathy, she needs constructive advice.

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CharlotteBog · 21/01/2024 22:09

Serrina · 21/01/2024 22:03

@CharlotteBog I don't see what the problem is? She gave helpful advice. The OP doesn't just need tea and sympathy, she needs constructive advice.

But OP has already left.

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Serrina · 21/01/2024 22:31

CharlotteBog · 21/01/2024 22:09

But OP has already left.

She has, but refuges and women's aid can still support her

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