To think 40 is a bit late to do much with your life if you’re starting from scratch?

[Flashynewpens]

Due to poor decisions I find myself at 40 in a dead end, low paid, low qualified job which has no progression.
I had some time out of the workplace with my children and I have a big gap between them. So as I was thinking about going back I unexpectedly got pregnant again and then stupidly stayed home another three years.

I know people will say about retraining but as a single mum working more or less full time this isn’t feasible and anyway - I’d still be up against people half my age.

I am struggling because I probably have another 30 working years but I am never going to advance any further than where I am now. It’s not helped by being stupid academically, unattractive and having very little experience in anything beyond entry level minimum wage.

AIBU to think basically my poor choices and lack of ability and age render me stuck where I am? Another 30 years where I’m not valued in terms of who I am or in terms of pay?
If I had my time over I’d not give up work to have children but I cannot change it now. I have started to withdraw from my friends because I am aware of how inferior I am to them. Why would they possibly be interested in me?

Mothering is priceless but not always valued by society. You are everything to your children.

I joined the civil service in my mid 50s. Went in at entry level and have had a couple of promotions since then. As a single parent you'll have loads of skills, it's just you don't see them as skills. Money, organisational skills, planning.
In CS applications you can use examples from outside work so maybe you could do some volunteering at school or somewhere, just for sone extra experience and examples.
You can do this! You're articulate and obviously intelligent or you wouldn't be aspiring to something more challenging!

Your self esteem is on the floor. All this talk of what you aren't good at but no mention of what you can do. Rather than feeling crushed by having no prospects, tell yourself that you have nothing to lose by taking a leap. You certainly have time on your side. I totally appreciate what you say about having no time or energy to study / retrain when you are a full time working single mum of two. Maybe you could make a positive start in your self-care? Hair cut, wardrobe overhaul ( as in trying some new styles not necessarily buying tons of new clothes). Just finding some way to increase your appreciation of yourself.
If you were brave enough, you could ask for some style / make up / hair advice from MN, or schedule an hour a night ( after the kids have gone to bed) to check out style ideas for people of your look / age / height / whatever.
Whatever you do, you need to start with reminding yourself of all your attributes that you are clearly taking for granted right now. You will be surprised by how much making a small start can dovetail. Increasing your confidence will help you recognise opportunities that you won't see now.

The limitations you see have nothing to do with your age or status or appearance. All to do with your attitude which comes across as depressive and self pitying. Numerous examples of people achieving their goals on this thread and in the wider world at your age.
You need a plan that is realistic and achievable for each area of your life.
If you are adequately housed that is a good base to achieve your goals. You don't need to train to be an accountant or solicitor for 5 years. Look at what you are interested in and jobs in that sphere that need some vocational education to gain entry. Anything that requires some education will pay better as you are creating differentials between you and non educated. Even some min pay jobs have training and progression with them so look for those if you can not do any education outside work.
I would say it's a change in outlook that's your biggest hurdle at this stage.
Good Luck

Take a course. Remote online. There are SO many to choose from. Things with transferable skills. You have plenty of time!
Start with something like Safeguarding. Or Customer service. There's even a course that fully funded to become an Apprenticeship Assessor! What's your skill?
Honestly, don't think it's over, think "it's just starting!"

Get yourself trained up in whatever you choose. Christ, 30 more years of work is a bloody long time to just wright yourself off x

@ClareBlue
battering a person with lie self esteem never helps.

47 and just applied to do a counselling course. So no and don't be too negative about yourself! You stayed at home with your kids, that's hardly a bad thing!

@Flashynewpens Please look at the National Careers Service website, you can get guidance by a qualified person and help to access courses. You could also look at apprenticeships as a way to retrain, you'll be earning and learning at the same time. As a registered career development professional myself I know that there is a lot of free support out there

I graduated from university a month after turning 40 after a 3 year degree, I left school with no qualifications but 9 years after graduating I earn OK money and lead a team of 15. Please don't give up, you ate still young

Op do you really believe that everyone on a low income is worthless? Hospitality, retail, care workers.... all worthless according to you??

You need to shift your mindset.

Of course you can retrain if you actually want to. But don't think you have to just because YOU think low earners are worthless. You're the only person who thinks that.