To be disappointed partner booked "holiday" ?

[closemydoormow]

So me and partner have 2 holidays booked this year.
Greece in September and a ski holiday in December.
I'm more than happy with this
He has now told me he has booked us 3 nights in Gran Canaria in 4 weeks
I questioned the 3 nights thing and he said they were really cheap flights (under £20 ) so he thought why not
Aibu to be a bit annoyed
It's a long way to go for 3 nights
We land on the Sunday at 10.30 am
We fly back on the Wednesday at 11.30 am

Would you be annoyed going all that way for 3 nights ?

I don't think anyone is saying a spontaneous weekend away isn't fun, they're saying it's pretty out of order not to check with your partner first. (Unless said partner is one of those 'laidback' types who don't do fuck all unless someone else organises it).

Wow, I'd absolutely love that!! Even a day of heat and sunshine sounds fabulous right now!!

@highlo

It sounds like there are 2 camps of people:
1) control freaks who need to have a say in (and plan) everything.
2) those of us who like romantic surprises, a bit of spontaneity and effort from our partners.

Yes of course; everyone who likes to be involved in holiday planning is a control freak

Don't be so bloody stupid. You can be ok with having things planned for you but do my the basic respect of not calling me a freak for feeling differently.

I think for that price I'd be thrilled tbh! You won't need much for a few days, so you would only need to pack a small case (hand luggage size).

So you've tagged an extra night on to your holiday for an extra £15.....I honestly fail to see the issue 🤷🏻‍♀️

You've got a 4 night break for a time when you're already got a week of work.

Enjoy the moment, let your hair down and try and see some positives instead of constantly looking for negatives.
If I'd booked a surprise holiday for my DP and I got this reaction I'd tell him to stay at home and I'd go on my own or with a mate.

Talk about putting a dampener on everything

Yes you're being unreasonable. A 3 day break somewhere warm sounds like bliss!
Be spontaneous.

My heart is bleeding for you

Sounds good especially if it's a decent hotel.

I'd be absolutely thrilled. I haven't had any foreign sun since 2011. Haven't been abroad since 2019 - if you count Guernsey.

TBH you sound terribly spoiled.

Genuinely sorry that you were in a controlling relationship previously, must have been horrible. But if your partner now isn’t allowed to book anything fun without asking for your permission beforehand…… then isn’t that you being somewhat controlling?

It's controlling to book travel without consultation. Most people do this kind of thing together, so both parties are on board with the arrangements.

Jet lag?? but then I don't fly often.

I went to Melbourne for 6 days. Don’t give it a second thought and don’t be ungrateful. Go and have a fabulous time.

I'd annoyed that he just went ahead and booked without checking if you were free and wanted to go. It's not the 1950s. You get a say.

I'd be pissed off, holidays should be a shared decision.

DH and I decided years ago to only take one (return) flight a year so we have to plan that. I get that's not the case here though.

Granted I have booked it in advance, but I'm going to Tenerife in April and I have booked a drop & go service at Manchester Airport for £52. They take my car and park it for me for the week, and I go to the terminal by bus.

@HarrietStyles

if your partner now isn’t allowed to book anything fun without asking for your permission beforehand…… then isn’t that you being somewhat controlling?

No, mutual agreement is the norm. It's not controlling to suggest people don't make plans for others to go abroad without asking.

What a stretch

There's no time difference so no jet lag. Same as if the OP went to Leeds. 😂

Why does he make executive decisions without your input? That’s the thing that would bother me.

I assume it is an environment concern OP has, as somebody mentioned? I certainly would. It's the reason my family and I either holiday in the UK or take ferries, and though we have not ruled out ever flying anywhere again, we are agreed we would only do so when we intended to stay in that country for a decent time length. It''s certainly not something I would consider for such a short period of time - I just don't think a two and a half day break justifies the impact on the environment. In fact I think it's a little surprising that so many people would do this so readily.

My husband knows I feel strongly about this and shares my views, but even if he didn't I'd expect him to respect them and not book me long flights for short holidays.

Depending on OP's family finances she may well be concerned with the money her partner is splashing around here, especially if it's family money.

Lovely , break from the cold

If this was dh he 100% would have sent me a quick message confirming all was ok before he booked.
Otherwise I’m in agreement with the op’s oh.

Why would you assume that?

Did Op say that? Or mention it at all.

Weird to have environmental concerns and go away twice in one year.

Be on the beach for the afternoon, 2 full days sightseeing / beach, 3 dinners out in the Canary Islands, sounds perfect!

I wouldn’t be worried about the taxi.

Can you go to Leeds as well if you have the week off? Plus weekend either side?

Are you really not tempted by a quick burst of sunshine?

Not much of a surprise if everything in life needs mutual agreement.

I'd agree if one partner booked EVERY holiday and the other never had a say. But they've booked 2 following mutual agreement and this is an extra bonus one as a surprise.

Assuming he'd be happy if OP returned the favour and booked a surprise trip for him at some point in the future then it's not controlling at all