Parents whose kids are in the same clothes for years

[Januaryisthepits]

I have a few mum friends who are wealthy (large homes with pools, private schools etc)
These mums dress their kids in clothes that they wait until are practically falling apart before they get new ones…dresses that then become tops with leggings, coats that are extremely snug etc. I realise it’s the smart thing to do and not wasteful etc, but I notice these parents v rarely spending any money on their childrens clothes and looking smart, whereas they will on themselves and spend money on experiences, often involving good restaurants and champagne.
In comparison, my mum friends with average income spend money on their kids clothes, making sure they fit, aren’t too old and shabby etc. My wealthier friends always seem to be proud of these cut backs they’re making, but it seems unfair on the kids, often buying second hand toys and books too, again, great, but nothing second hand themselves and also a bit unfair to the mums with less, who genuinely need the second hand items.
They also seem so proud to shop at Aldi/Lidl as though it’s an expression of something
Does anyone know what I mean?

In other words, some people's priorities for what they spend their money on are different from yours. Why does that matter? To me it seems a bit daft to spend a lot on frequently replaced children's clothes, unless the kids themselves genuinely get something out of it. But I appreciate that people differ in their preferences.

@GoodOldEmmaNess Whereas they have designer clothes, highlights, beauty treatments, expensive lunches etc?

Maybe the mums who seem outwardly more wealthy have less disposable income as they are paying for a bigger house/private schools. As pp said, it's priorities.
Unless you are privy to all of their financial info you can't know what choices/sacrifices they are making.

As long as the kids clothes are clean it really doesn't matter.

Kids don't know if their clothes are designer or from Asda and they don't care.

Who cares what supermarkets they shop in.

Very strange post OP.

Wanting young kids to look smart is a class marker. Personally I'd rather children were comfortable and able to get clothes dirty through play. I don't see an issue with old clothes unless it's a smart occasion. It's always poor areas where tiny girls are in white dresses and boys are in label sports gear, probably the money would be better spent on other things but there's a strong pressure not to look poor. I don't think the children of extremely rich parents will feel that pressure

Second hand is good for the environment and there's plenty of it.

Lidl and Aldi well each to their own.

Kids can become very attached to favourite clothing items.

But the difference is, they’re very happy to make sure that they have nice, new clothes and go to good restaurants..doesn’t that seem unfair.
I’m not talking about average mums putting their kids in designer items or especially smart clothes, they don’t, they do make sure their kids clothes fit, aren’t falling apart and are presentable, often going without themselves.

It doesn't sound nice if the clothes are too tight or becoming uncomfortable. And if you notice a whole group doing it, it's probably something of a group marker. I would put children in non-designer clothes as long as possible, when they are teens they will have their own strong opinions! But children do like nice colours and nice soft fabrics and choosing their own clothes sometimes.

Maybe the clothes were expensive so they're making them last?

I’m not talking about designer clothes, just getting them new clothes when needed (be it Primark or supermarket brands)

Are we talking Oliver Twiat here? Are the children unhappy?

A fancy item of clothing for an adult would last years. For a child it would be soon grown out of, if not gone into holes or stained. It’s a no-brainer. And perhaps they have a big house, fancy lunches etc. BECAUSE they didn’t waste money on prestigious clothing for DC?

@Beautiful3 Theyre not particularly expensive, some passed on already from others

😂😂 yeah if those poor people would just stop going to Primark then they too could have swimming pools and private education.

I completely get you. It's like the middle classes have decided they need to show how thoughtful of the environment they are, but only through the kids, god forbid they have second hand clothes themselves. Where I'm from that's called being a tightwad🤣

Why does it bother you?
Are they clean? Are they happy?

@MrsBobtonTrent Nice, smart clothes and treats for themselves though

I would say this is me, though no spending on fancy restaurants and champagne. 🤣 My kids wear their clothes until they absolutely fall apart. My 5 year old only recently stopped wearing a size 2year old jumper. It fit, so we shoved it on! We have a whole set of clothes with holes that we wear around the house or in the mud or cleaning animals or at the beach, because no sense putting on nice new clothes to get covered in mud or animal poo.

We have a big house and lots of probably quite expensive hobbies. We travel and do lots of fun things. We don’t not buy new clothes because we can’t afford them. We just don’t value them. Same as how I’d never spend money on lash extensions or expensive makeup or a Range Rover. But I would spend it on a new bike or a city break or a day out. Dh and I only buy new clothes for ourselves about once a year and only to replace what has fallen apart. The difference is that Dh and I have to be remotely presentable for work. Other than school uniform, kids should be comfortable and happy.

there's a strong pressure not to look poor. I don't think the children of extremely rich parents will feel that pressure

I think there's a lot in this. If a child of a well off family is in shabby clothes no one will generally think is the child being neglected, whereas in poor family they might.
Also if you can afford the expensive things then new clothes maybe aren't as special?

I don't see the point in shelling out on 'expensive' kids clothes as they just grow out of them, whereas for adults who get full wear of the it seems more reasonable.

What an odd post! This could be about my children to be honest. They are very slow growing so have mostly been in the same clothes for well over a year, and then my eldest will usually pass things down to her younger siblings too so it gets even more wear out of it. We buy expensive/mid-range stuff in the beginning so it washes well, and I'm very against "throw away" culture. Also I have kids who go and roll in the mud and fall over and go off on their bikes so I'm never too precious about their clothes

@Devilsmommy Exactly, it’s made quite a big show of too…the fact they go to Lidl, like it’s a novelty…it’s just purely a necessity for many

I don’t know your friends but maybe they don’t want to look “poor” (average income)? Once the kids are older and ask for specific items of clothing, I would hazard a guess that they will wear more new/designer?
Rich people can get away with dressing their young ones like you describe because society /social services don’t judge them the same way as “poor” parents. They don’t have to worry about their cupboards being bare if someone like the police looked because they are going to believe that Ocado are delivering later or that they are going out to a restaurant so aren’t neglectful.

I completely agree that you can often tell how rich the parents are based on how the kids are dressed.

🤭🤭🤭🤭

@Crispsandwichrock 😂😂

People always spend in line with their priorities. The size of the pot varies, but the priorities are always there.